Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road!
-only $14.95-
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road.
Caution: Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road on concrete.
Discontinue use of Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road if any of the following occurs:
Itching
Vertigo
Dizziness
Tingling in extremities
Loss of balance or coordination
Slurred speech
Temporary blindness
Profuse sweating
Heart palpitations
If Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration…
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road.
Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Mysterious Box on the Side of the Road
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!