Sue, we have two ‘bones’ of contention:
On handy himself, I felt someone needed to say something about where and why handy was probably coming from apropos his posting style. As I’d never seen anything on the Board before and as this thread seemed a little short of counter-argument, it appeared to me the points about short notes needed to be made. I’m no expert and there may be other reasons that influence the posting style of the deaf – what I identified just seemed to be the most obvious influences on his style to me and at this time.
Yeah, I agree that there seems to be, on the face of it, no reason why he can’t make more effort with capitalisation, bolding and icons. Maybe someone should post a GQ on the subject of how deafness does or doesn’t influence posting styles.
As for content, handy is the first and only deaf person I have seen communicating over a period. I just don’t know how deaf people pick up and incorporate the subtleties of the hearing world although, one imagines, he’s seen enough posts on this board to get a general idea of message board conventions and accepted practice. Again, a genuine GQ might enlighten us all.
I do think – and I say again, I don’t know any deaf people – that the sense of humour among deaf people might well be a little ‘offbeat’ by the standards of the hearing world because of the absence of tone and timing. This is the core subject of the OP and, as I recall, my earlier posting and this paragraph are the only observation that address that point in the thread. Perhaps another GQ.
On the second bone:
There seems little point in exploring this (to me) for a couple of reasons. The first is that we have a different view that probably won’t alter through this debate. This is mine re-iterated:
FWIW, I think this guy has a lifetime of extreme emotional frustration locked away in his head and if he sometimes needs to be reminded of the appropriateness of his actions in the context of a world he doesn’t wholly understand, so be it. For all I know he might not have worked out the difference between sex and showing real affection for someone he clearly cares about i.e. you. But it isn’t necessary to humiliate.
The second reason is that I don’t know all the facts and some of those I do know confuse me. For example, you said:
“I stopped him with an outstreached palm and announced to the entire family, “Don’t hug me. I don’t want hugs from you. Don’t follow me around and don’t touch your penis in front of me, EVER AGAIN!!!””
Followed by in a subsequent post:
*”Did you miss the part when I said he is SEVERLY RETARDED? This man communicates with 5 words, and I’m not exaggerating (sp?). “ *
I misconstrued to whom you were directing the comment. I assumed it was the son as you spoke to him directly but as he couldn’t understand, I now see it was for the benefit of the family.
I wasn’t there, I imagine you found it a very difficult situation but I also think there were better ways of dealing with it other than alienating the mother and shouting at someone who can’t understand.
