Please tell me you did not just equate child rape with homosexuality.
Nope he didn’t -
He equated pedophilia to the structure of the brain, as in, it being something that the sufferer can’t help (although they can choose not to act on it) to homosexuality also being the structure of the brain and not a lifestyle choice.
If I understood correctly, it was not a value judgement, but rather a statement of fact that nobody “chooses” to be have pedophillic attractions, anymore than somebody chooses to be gay. It’s just the way that the individual brain is wired.
The crime against the 6 year old was a long time ago and he could have been wrongly convicted. From the description of the types of things that could have led to the charges it seems like it might be easy for a 6 year old to be led to say things that didn’t happen or didn’t happen how she said or thought. There’s been enough cases of people wrongly convicted of child molestation that there’s a not unreasonable chance it’s not as bad as it sounds.
But it could be, and if it is you have no indication that he’s done anything like it again. So, he’s dating a younger women. That’s not necessarily an indication that he’s only into younger women. How many women his age are going to date someone who has trouble keeping a job?
How I feel about sex offenders is that the majority of sex offenders have never been caught. We can all freak out every time we see one who is known, or we can be practical and keep them away from children but let them go about their business until they show signs of trying to re-offend like palling around with, or showing too much interest in children. There’s an identified sex offender, one you’re safer from than the other sex offenders you interact with and let your children be around every day. The convicted sex offender in your neighborhood is one you can point out to your children and say “Stay away from that person. Do not walk by his house. If he gets within a certain distance of you, run and scream”. The other sex offender in your neighborhood is probably your kid’s best friend’s uncle who thay hang around with all the time.
He does a good job at a fair price. Use him whenever you can until he proves himself untrustworthy. Don’t recommend him out to people with young children and if people with children ask for his number just calmly explain that he has a past conviction listed on the web site and let them make their own decision. Explain that he does a good job and since there are no children around, you decided to give him a chance. I need some work done around my house, I would hire him. I have no children and there are no young children in my immediate area.
And he’s 10 years younger, 3 inches shorter, and 20 pounds heavier than me. Which is a whole hell of a lot more than anyone on this board knew about me before I posted this.
Yeah, you outed him.
I checked that site for my name. There are 21 registered sex offenders who have the same name. None of them are me, not that I expected I would show up there, since I ain’t a sex offender. An ad link there gave me the opportunity to search for criminal records. There were 44 people in my state alone. None of them were me. These days, it’s nice to have a ridiculously common name. They’ll be overwhelmed with results, most of which are obviously not applicable. They won’t keep looking long enough to dig out my embarrassing details… 
Just out of curiosity, where did you find him in the first place? Did someone recommend him? Ad in the paper? Leaflet in your door? Angie’s List?
A pedophile may not be able to help the way he feels. He CAN control the way he ACTS. His brain never forced him to rape that girl. If you are honestly calling him the victim, because “his brain is wired that way”, you’re the fucking stupid one.
This
Is the original quote.
Which is asking us to criminalise the way he feels. So while nobody is suggesting that actions should be excused, here is somebody suggesting that he should be blamed for an attraction (that is still moot at this point, as we don’t know that he is even a medically diagnosed pedophile) that is the result of his (supposed) brain being wrongly wired.
I guess you TOTALLY missed where every single person advocating what you are calling “forgive and forget” (none of which involves saying what he did was OK or forgetting he did it) emphasized employing him ONLY where there where** no children?**
NO ONE is saying having him work in a home with a six year old running is OK. In fact, we’ve all said that’s a circumstance where you would NOT want to hire him.
As for parole - that can extend for many, many years past prison release. There are people who are on parole for the rest of their lives.
We’re not talking about “putting aside” what he did, what we’re talking about is letting a man who is, apparently, behaving these days make an honest living doing work where no one is either tempted to repeat a past offensive or put into danger by someone.
“She is a psychologist who believes she can judge whether or not he is a changed man by listening to his explanation, looking for regret, and examining his behavior when confronted with the situation.”
Psychologists in general way way way overestimate their ability to do these kinds of things.
I would think I had the hang of who was fibbing and who wasnt when I worked in family violence, and regularly find out I knew squat. Even worse I would then repeat that same process every 6 months or so, thinking that this time I really had figured out how to do it.
Otara
So what the fuck more do you need ? He’s doing good work, hasn’t nicked your stuff or broken your shit, hasn’t fucked your wife either. So he’s something of a deadbeat and probably depressed/alcoholic/both. That’s more sad than frightening. Passing bad checks could have been desperation, could have been malice - what do you care ? He’s not buying anything from you is he ? Nor pretending he’s done the job when he hasn’t ? Not planning on marrying him, are you ? Then, again, the fuck should you care what kind of a man he is ?
You’re not his psychopomp, nor the guy who has to weigh his heart against a feather, nor his minister - you’re his employer. Everything beyond “does he reliably do a good job, yes/no ?” is you being on a power trip.
I wouldn’t leave credit card receipts lying around in plain view around his workspace to tempt his Imp of the Perverse (cheers, Neil !), nor conspicuous bottles of booze for that matter, but beyond that: his life, his shit, his concern. Furthermore, I can guarantee you you’ve worked and are working, you’ve known and are probably even friend with people who’ve done and are still doing worse than him.
They just never got caught at it, is all.
22 years is a very long time for anyone but the difference between 17 and 39 is even further. I was completely screwed up by my own history of child abuse at 17 and I did all sorts of really bad shit (though I didn’t molest anyone). Through some miracle the cops and I didn’t run into one another then and I recently passed both a Police Check and a Working With Children check so I can volunteer with troubled teens. I worked on me along the way and the two versions of me have virtually nothing in common. If this guy has been on the register that long and regularly rolled by the cops (as his list suggests) you can bet they were looking closely for any kiddy fiddling. The fact none appears is a good sign I think.
Plenty of molesters are never caught/charged/convicted, the next guy you hire may be a shit worker and a serial rapist without a record. I would give him work in your child free situation and I spent a lot of time in dark places from my own history, however, you don’t have to hire anyone that worries you and this seems to worry you. The question is not really about him but about your comfort level.
Tough.Many employers choose not to hire based on a dirty background check. It’s the prerogative of the employer to make sound business decisions. He has a list of offenses that occurred after the heinous offense. He evidently isn’t trying very hard to redeem himself and function in society. He’s a skilled construction worker, should be able to find work anywhere in the US. And if current and future employees choose not to hire him based on background checks: tough. Maybe he will stop breaking laws if he feels the repercussions of his actions.
Seriously. If even Rand Rover isn’t willing to show any compassion, then… well, that’s actually baseline, but the point is!
That is untrue. I have several juveniles on my Megan’s Law list. They did horrific things as juveniles. They have to register as sex offenders. But they were not tried and convicted as adults.
It may be different in each state but in mine they are all required to report where they are working. If he didn’t then he is in violation. So by all means call.
I can make this simple.
You hired him to do work. So far he has fulfilled his obligations on time, on budget, and even exceeded expectations by helping out with another project while he was at it. You did not hire him to hang out with you, or babysit your kids. His crime was over two decades ago and we don’t know the particulars. After that nearly all of his run ins with the law have been procedural or regarding being drunk. If he isn’t drunk on the job then that doesn’t matter.
You hired the man to work. He shows up on time, sober, and does his job well. You have nothing to worry about. Keep the info to yourself and keep an eye on him. If you have the slightest suspicion about inappropriate behaviour, then pay him and let him go.
Pardon me while I laugh.
^^^^^ this.
If we’re not going to go with “he’s done his time, he’s been punished, it’s over (until / unless he does something again)”, we might as well make sex offenses capital crimes. Not to increase punishment but to put them out of their misery so they don’t have to wander the earth reviled and hated and scorned all the days of their life. Hmm, I suppose making a rapist do precisely that has a certain appeal, sure enough, but there is that practical consideration. The guy’s not going to be able to find honest work. We’re creating a situation where we’re going to make him a desperate person who will steal or engage in illegal activities in order to survive. We reduce his interests in trying to be a good citizen. But we leave him in our midst to do as he will. Seems like a bad recipe to me.
Agree with this also. Our legal system is based on the idea that you’re responsible for your actions. If people are not capable of managing their own affairs, they need a guardianship and perhaps, if dangerous, incarceration, as fully incompetent people. The rest of us get to act, get to have our intentionalities and not our “brain wiring” or our socialization or whatever regarded as the reason we acted as we did, and we can be held responsible for our acts.