It’s been reported that our favorite terrorist organization may have tried to destabilize American culture by kidnapping Russell Crowe Mfff mff BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I do not mean to belittle Mr. Crow who has done some pretty decent movie roles but does Al Qaida do any research? I can’t even decide what the funniest part is, that R.C. is a Kiwi/Aussie or they think western civilation will topple if they kidnap a few movie stars.
Hmm, any suggestions of actual americans they could grab? As I have not made many friends here, I call “not me”. In fact, how about just celebrities in general, not just americans.
I say let them grab ol’ R.C.
He’s liable to beat the shit out of them. 
snort Considering that the source is Mr. Crowe himself, perhaps we’re just dealing with an inflated ego here?
If Al Quaida wants to kidnap celebrities, though, then I just want to tell them that it would be just terrible if Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson were to disappear. Really, I think American culture would just collapse without them. Gee, I really hope that nothing happens to them.
Blech. 'Scuse me while I go take a shower. This sarcasm is stickier than you’d think.
Well I pretty sure we’re safe from the collape of Western Civilization unless the terrorists grab Paris Hilton & Carrot Top.
Did you hear that Al-Qaeda? - you can’t defeat the West unless you grab those two. That’s Paris Hilton, just like the city and the hotel, and Carrot Top, two words, two t’s. They’re in the book.
Well supposedly the source is the FBI but I haven’t seen a cite better than the one from Crowe himself. It may be bullshit but damn it’s funny. It’s like a Boris and Natasha plot. “Fearless leader sends orders to capture American single combat gladiataor Maximus but first we get moose and squirrel.”
Heh, someone told me about this the other day and I thought he was joking. How bizarre.
[Russel Crowe, determined to “fight cancer”]
“Well, we couldn’t find cancer, but we found a guy with cancer, so we’re gonna kick his ass! Oi!”
If this is true, it is evidence that, while they may or may not HATE our culture, they clearly don’t UNDERSTAND it.
Can a mod give the title a ‘y’ before I stick forks in my eyes?
y?
(read the letter aloud, to get the pun)
In Russell’s defense, he seems to understand that it wasn’t as big a deal as it sounded the first time he heard about it.
From the NY Daily News (and, I’m certain, the AP):
And I agree that he’d kick some al-Q ASS if they even managed to get him in the van in the first place.