::meanwhile::
i’m too drunk to play folk guitar…
hey, let’s peel sweaters and swim in the atlantic.
: hangs on Uke’s arm :
You brought your chef’s knife, didn’t you, Uke? The 10" one, right? Hey! How come the lights are out! Hey! How come you can see my nipples through my shirt even though the lights are out?
I’m scared. Would a geek with a crush on jarbaby, a sassy black woman, an arrogant drug addict, and a slut like to hang out with me for protection? Nobody ever comes after our sort.
::Still carrying silent jarbabyj, arrives at top of stairs to see Athena and Ukulele Ike…
But… but… if that’s TRUE, then there can only be one person who would be capable of such fiendish villany!
::lightning flashes::
JDT!!!
::horses whinny in the background::
If JDT [sub]horses winny in the backround[/sub] is really behind this, we have to get downstairs and warn the rest of the Dopers! Only the combined force of the Angry Doper Mob can defeat the Dread JDT!![sub]horses whinny in background[/sub]
::tries to open attic door, but it seems to be stuck…::
::Superdude rushes to the door, trying to open it with bobkitty. No luck::
What are we going to do?
::Lightning crashes outside, and bobkitty jumps against Superdude. The feel of her body against him is too much, and he lowers her to the floor in a passionate embrace::
:clunk:
What was that?
Guys?
Come on you guys, this isn’t funny anymore!
:eek:
Um, Superdude?
I’d get up if I were you. You know what the penalty is for making out in a horror-type situation…
Also, you can’t open a door with a bobkitty. Try using a key, or maybe the doorknob. 
Hello? Hello?
We were out in the woods trying to find this witch, y’know, that was like all creepy and stuff, and we got lost and wandered around for like a couple of days, but like I was constantly telling everyone that I knew where we were and saying “fuck” a lot, and basically nothing happened for the whole stupid movie, but we made a shit load off it, so we came out with like the World’s Lamest Sequel, and it was like totally stupid and stuff…
Shodan accepts his seven dollars back from an apolegetic movie theater manager, strides purposefully down the aisle, and steps into the screen behind the speaker. He lifts a baseball bat high into the air, and brings it crashingly down onto the knitted-cap-clad head of the snotty-nosed college-age moron speaking. She falls heavily. He bows to the cheering crowds, and exits in search of a movie theater showing something genuinely creepy, like Night of the Living Dead or Annie.
:: Why A Duck moves an old armoire, discovers a long-forgotten closet door. Wonders what or who is behind it.
crreeeeeeaaaaakkkkk
:: Discovers a big box, covered with years of dust. It is addressed to Jody Price, apparently from Acme toys. Carefully, Why A Duck opens it…
"Oh my god! It’s the missing feet!"
*Meanwhile, in the upstairs bedroom,Msgr. Zappo opens his catechism on the nightstand, makes a final adjustment to his vestments, and removes a bottle of holy water from a small black bag.
Crossing himself, he makes the sign of the cross over a prone figure tied to the bedposts, writhing on top of a filthy sheet. . .*
The power of Christ compels you! [sprinkle]
The power of Christ compels you! [sprinkle]
The power of Christ compels you! [sprinkle]
You will stop using smileys at the end of each sentence in your posts! Miscoding, begone!
Somebody hand me a Kleenex, for the love of god.
BOO!
Ha Ha Ha. I sure scared you guys. What a punch of fraidyca…
<a knife comes flashing out of the dark>
Slaasssssshhhhhh
AUUUGGHHHHH, cough, choke…
then silence.
Aside: Is there any thread that won’t be turned into a flirt thread by Superdude?
stumbles forward
Braaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnn…
continues stumbling forward
Brrrrrrraaaaaaiiinnnn…
still lurching forward
[sub]Hey…in every slasher movie, there has to be the obligitory sex scene. That’s all this was[/sub]
Gartog enters, his stained and torn lab coat flapping wildly in the breeze[sub]which breeze? Don’t ask[/sub]
*I knew I should have used a stronger chain . . . **Osiris
** Where are you, come to Daddy . . . . *
The flicker light from the fire illuminates the mad doctors face, shadows move wickedly across the crumbling plaster of the walls and in the distance a rumbling is heard.
Braaiiiin . . … . Braiiiiiin
Gartog Spins around to see where the noise is coming from, he creeps towards a dark gaping doorway, wielding a large net.
Come to Daddy Osiris there’s a good monster,
The firelight reflected in his wild eye he looks skyward towards the full moon and begins laughing manically creeping into the darkness. . . .
Bwah hah ha ha [sub]ha ha ha [/sub]*
[sub]Regarding my previous post: Insert punctuation as required.[/sub]
bobkitty! I feel like we’re being watched.
::Grabbing bobkitty’s hand::
Let’s see what’s over here…
::Fishes in pocket for Zippo lighter, emblazoned with Indianapolis Colts on one side::
A-ha! Look!
at the bus stop
Ooooh - look at the funny clownmaking shadow puppets!
Wow - that T Rex looks almost rea…
AAAAAHHHHHHH! <<< CRUNCH >>>>