The Charles Dickens action figure comes with Amazing Kung Fu Novel-Writing Grip ™, an enormous library, towering stacks of paper and a lifetime supply of pens. Realistic ink stains cover his hands.
Donald Rumsfeld.
Comes with bendable knees and voice activated motor so that he can step down after enough people scream loudly enough. Works on batteries but doesn’t know the difference in AA and AAA other than one lives in one battery pack and the other one is AAA probably.
Louis Farrakhan
Not everyone knows this model is a New! Improved! version of the old Calypso-Singing Charmer ™ figure of many years ago.
The Louis Farrakahn model still has the the microphone in one hand, but now carries a copy of the Protocols of Zion instead of maracas in the other.
The Invisible Man is shipped as a pair.
One model has bandages all over it, and you can’t see the other figure at all. Please check contents of box carefully before complaining to supplier.
Marlon Brando.
Excellent! sorry!
The young, omigod what a gorgeous, gorgeous man version – the fat old crackpot version has been sent to Tahiti. Dressed in your choice of “Streetcar” white T-shirt, “Wild Bunch” black leather jacket, or “Guys and Dolls” sharkskin suit and fedora.
Harry Truman
Pull his string, he voices, “Atom bomb? WTF is that?”
This plain speaking action figure gives 'em hell every change he gets!
Not reccomended for under 18. Adult language and situations.
Woody Guthrie.
The Woody Guthrie action figure comes with a banged-up old guitar and rattletrap old Ford truck, a dusty fedora and a song in his heart.
Joseph Goebbels.
Well, he had a song in his heart …
Not any song I’d ever want to hear. But what would his action figure be like, Twickster?
The charred corpse of Joseph Goebbels is found in the Thousand Year Reich playset. Poison candy, period firearms, realistic plastic ditch and gasoline included, along with other burned famous Nazi figures. Russian Red Army figures available.
Not suitable for children. Flamable material.
‘Who’s Next’ is an album by The Who with figures of The Who on the front of it.
Sam Giancana.
The Sam Giancana figure comes with dark glasses, little black book containing both phone numbers for both Judith Campbell and the White House, blood-stained frying pan with sausage and peppers. Buy now and receive free pinback button “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”
Sir John A. MacDonald
Costs $10 (CAD). Voice provided by Billy Connelly. Impossible to find in the U.S. as store clerks and most customers have never heard of him and he’s just some vague figure in the north of the store.
George Donner (leader of the Donner Party)
Comes with table settings for 8.
Howzabout Red Grange?
He Gallops! He’s a Ghost! He’s a galloping Ghost!
Joe DiMaggio.
Comes with a Mr. Coffee and when you pull his string he says “I don’t talk about my ex-wife”. Unfortunately kids have a major tendency to lose this action figure and spend years saying “where have you gone, Joe Dimaggio?”
Harriet Tubman (incidentally: had lots of distinctions other than the slave liberation she was most famous for)
The Harriet Tubman action figure comes with either male or female clothing, depending upon the Underground Railroad playset scenario you have in mind; a lantern and rifle, and sings “Follow the Drinking Gourd” when you pull the string in her back.
Jacqueline Kennedy.
Jackie Kennedy doll comes with wide assortment of hats, and Big Hair.
Special Collectors edition Blood Spattered Dress ™ sold seperately.
Christopher Columbus
Christopher Columbus comes complete with the Nina! The Pinta! and the Santa Maria!
Pull his string and he says, “are we there yet?” or “I claim this land for Spain–I mean Portugal–I mean, where the heck are we?”
this is considered a manufacturer’s defect and is highly collectible. Compass, sextant and maps sold seperately.