Anatomically correct. Comes with little blue pills. Pop one in his mouth and watch his ED disappear. Smiling Elizabeth Dole doll sold separately.
Edgar Allan Poe
Comes with laudanum bottle, trembling DT action and a dead child bride. Only available for 3 weeks, after which nevermore.
Chang & Eng Bunker
Activate by pulling off his head, whereupon he swims around the Optimus Prime/Queen Anne’s Revenge Transformer Playset (sold separate).
consolidate to
Chang & Eng Bunker (and I just gotta say that I would SOOOOOOOOO buy a set of Barnum’s Museum action figures if they were made to scale)
IMO, the LHO doll should have a Grassy Knoll sold seperately.
On to Chang and Eng…you can get either the basic set, Chang and Eng dressed in tuxedos, or you can get the Deluxe Wedding Set-with the Doublemint Twins. Much hilarity ensues as both(sets of) dolls are anatomically correct, and their many offspring are also available. Made in the USA.
Bill Gates action figure
2003 model projected to be released in 2008.
Jane Austen
This actually exists. Jane herself
She comes complete with dance card, empire waisted dress, a book on the peerage and a reticule.
Leonardo da Vinci
Leonardo da Vinci Action Figure, from LorenzoMoor Enterprises. Comes with smock, mirror for backwards writing, and rhombicuboctahedron. Discover these exciting Leonardo Playsets (sold separately):
- Leonardo’s War Turtle with continuously variable transmission action;
- Lil’ Leo dissection kit with scalpel, marble slab and body of street urchin;
- da Vinci Paint-by-Numbers kit, choice of Last Supper, St. John the Baptist, or La Giaconda
Pierre Eliot Trudeau
This is the best one yet. And it’s been a great, great thread.
Carry on. Pierre Trudeau.
A particularly hard to find action figure in America even though it’s not in short supply. Almost all Americans know its name but very few have an idea of what it looks like or exactly what’s identifiable about it. Usually found near the John & Yoko action figures though sometimes with the much younger Barbie generations. Comes with a French translator, health card and dogeared French copy of “Marx for Students”. Hot son action figures sold separately.
Newt Gingrich
Turns the majority of your other action figures into Republicans. Comes with his complete bibliography and a copy of the 1995 Man of the Year edition of Time.
Benito Mussolini.
Order now and it will arrive in your mailbox on time.
Alfred Kinsey.
Pull his string and hear him ask questions about your sex life!
Martha Stewart
Martha Stewart: by day she’s mild mannered little Miss Homemaker, by night she’s wanton prison wench! Comes with ankle braclet and mugshot.
Jimmy Carter…
Fights stagflation! Fights malaise! Wears a cardigan! (Send back your Carter figures and wait fifteen years, and you get the special limited edition Peacekeeper Jimmy.)
Tristan Tzara.
Pull the string and it self destructs, comes with a paint by the numbers set that has no color key.
Speaking of Vlad the impaler, I have to mention that his castle is on sale for a mere 60 million euros.
And speaking of past Romanian dictators:
Nikolai Ceausescu…
Nikolai Ceausescu-That’s right, it’s the Wacky Romanian nobody remembers! Comes with two (2) obviously stretched bear skins and genuine iron fist. Bulldozer sold separately. Human rights not included.
Jim Morrison…
Jim is sold in two models.
(1) Leather-clad figure leaning over an unlit camp-fire. Press button 1 on remote and fire ignites. Press button 2 and pants fall down to reveal genitalia. Note: It is not advisable to press both buttons at the same time.
(2) Naked in a bath. Button 1 activates wanking mechanism. Button 2 sinks model under soap suds. Note: Once Jim is submerged model ceases to function.
Charlie Chaplin.
Send in coupon & proof of purchase for Jailbait Cutie action figure.
Caligula
Accessories include pregnant sister with removable fetus, a horse sized toga and a pair of “little boots”. (Incitatus stallion and playset sold separately.)
Sally Hemings
The Sally Hemings action figure is part of the Antebellum Monticello playset. It includes an assortment of beautiful dresses, three adorable slave children action figures, and a miniature copy of the Declaration of Independence. Thomas Jefferson action figure with Heavy-Duty Hypocrisy Action ™, with violin, sold separately.
Adm. Grace Hopper.