The Hollywood Committee Thread

I’m sick of the fetid crap that comes from Hollywood these days. Piss poor remakes and rehashed formulas that are drained of any life. Dumbed down scripts directed by MTV video guys make the already putrid mess worse.

It must be easy to generate a film these days all you need is a committee of execs who want to minimize costs and maximize profitability of a project. Just pick a demographic and find a way to pander to them to get them to watch a film.

Here is a little exercise. We are the execs… we’ve been handed a script by a young director who recently gained notoriety for pulling off a huge publicity stunt. His name is marketable so we will make him the director.

He has demanded full control but as execs we aren’t going to throw away money on something that is not a sure thing.

here is the outline of his movie:
After the death of a big time media mogul the press decide to find out the meaning of his last dying word. Through flashbacks we see his life and try to puzzle who this man really was.

Sounds boring… Ok committee let’s sex this turkey up so we can market and sell this… My first suggestion is that we aim for the summer so we need to make this a blockbuster.

Ok here’s a futile bump let me get started.

We need some edge to it perhaps we sould hire an edgy star that will draw in the teens. perhaps someone like…

Well we need the youth market. So we take some of talented hotties from WB teenV shows for the female roles. Allison Hannigan and that one that plays the kid on the Gilmore Girls. Hey there is a cute blonde girl on that Superboy show who plays a reporter. We can have her play the reporter!

We should not let the director star in the film. He’ll have his hands busy directing. Instead we’ll get Freddie Prinz Jr.

Now we need some songs for the soundtrack.

Some new Music from Eminem… The kids like that and perhaps some Britney Spears for teh older teens.

The Film should open with a car chace…