Funniest Planet: Uranus
I can’t believe it took this long!
Funniest English surname: Hoofnagle
Funniest mineral: Cummingtonite.
Funniest chemical: Arsole.
Heck, the manatee isn’t even the funniest sea cow. That honor goes to the dugong. 
Didn’t Henny Youngman declare cucumbers and pickles to be the funniest vegetable (yes, technically they’re fruits because of the seeds, but c’mon, we all know they’re really veggies)?
And how about that recognizable ethnic group that is not the ethnic group to which I and the majority of my audience belong?
I mean, let us consider for a moment that well-known action that is stereotypically easily done by the ethnic group to which I and the majority of my audience belong!
Is it not humorous how that well-known action that is stereotypically easily done by the ethnic group to which I and the majority of my audience belong is a fruitless endeavor for that recognizable ethnic group that is not the ethnic group to which I and the majority of my audience belong?
I mean, just the other day, I was walking along and I just so happened to see a member of that recognizable ethnic group that is not the ethnic group to which I and the majority of my audience belong! And he was attempting- get this- he was attempting that well-known action that is stereotypically easily done by the ethnic group to which I and the majority of my audience belong!
And- and- he was UNSUCCESSFUL!
Comically so!
What’s up with THAT?
Actually, Lee Flowers is the funniest ex-football player, because not only did he wear a jersey with the word Flowers on it, he took up knitting to keep busy on the team jet.
ETA: I swear to Og the vice principal at my high school tried to convince the boys to join Knitting Club by telling us that little tidbit. It actually worked fairly well, surprisingly; I was one of the few players on the basketball team who didn’t join up.
Funiest nuclear physist: Werner Heisenberg.
Or maybe not.
never mind. wrong physicist
eta: Schroedinger’s pretty funny, too. But to use him in a routine would require some out-of-the-box thinking
“Erwin, what have you done to the cat? It looks half dead!”
ETA - and a Heisenberg joke for good measure: Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. The cop asks him, “do you know how fast you were going?” “Haven’t a clue, officer”, sez Werner, “but I know exactly where I am!”
Humorist’s Go-To Medical Procedure: Digital prostate exam.
It’s a three-fer. You get unease about going to the doctor, assertion of rabid heterosexuality, with a litte side dig at homos.
List of cities that always seem to get laffs:
Perth Amboy
Newport News
Leavenworth
Albuquerque
and
Chevy Chase
Lox is always a good choice for a funny insult food.
Funniest suggestive varmint: gerbils.
funniest piece of sports equipment: – hockey puck.
funniest toy…yo-yo.
Even funnier for the slow in the audience now that GPS is more widely available and understood.
Funniest Pennsylvania city: Intercourse.
Funniest European city: Fucking, Austria.
And its sister city: Condom, France.
There’s also a town called Sixty Nine in PA.
Funniest shrub: Rhododendron
Funniest foot problem: Bunion (runner up: Verruca)