Based on past experience, it is possible to have the shit scared out of you. This only happens if you scream really loud using your diaphragm.
(You will likely also piss yourself at the same time.)
Needless to say, my daughter does not sneak up on me while I am vacuuming anymore.
It’s much more mundane, but whenever I get the OMG-I’m-craving-something-fierce-but-nothing-seems-like-the-right-thing problem, I think back a bit and realize that I’m detoxing from caffeine again. I don’t normally drink coffee, but every once in a while I have a stress week when I really need it, and when I stop again, I go through a day or three of intense cravings for something indefinable. Oddly, once the cravings start, coffee does not make them go away. Very annoying.
So the guy who raped me is back in town. I had spoted someone who looked like him a couple of times which freacke me the fuck out but I managed to conbvince myself thaat it was all my imagination. Last week I found out he wwas still employed by the drilling compamy here. Yesterday One of my friends spotted him ina work vehivcle.
That Hi-Yield stuff that’s made in Texas is what we use, and that’s exactly what it’s like (the white ant poison is like this too).
Fuck. I have to give my cat away this weekend. No, it’s not a requirement, but I’ve come to the conclusion that my cat living in a room with a closed door most of the time because my daughter has developed a sudden allergy to him and my husband detests him is not a good life for him. I’ve found a very nice gentleman who will be able to give him lots of affection and is specifically looking for an older cat (he is older, living with a disability and wants a pet for a companion that he won’t have to train as much). Still, it’s going to suck. My kids (despite the girl’s allergy) like him, but he’s like a toy on a shelf to them. They take him out sometimes on weekends, then back he goes into his closed room all alone. This has been going on for longer than I can take and I don’t see signs of it getting better. It can’t be good for him.
As icing on the cake, my dishwasher broke. So I’m waiting for one more incident (perhaps my son getting into a fight at school yesterday was the last one?) because bad things usually happen in threes - or maybe it just seems that way when one really bad thing happens and normal life happens afterward.
I’m sad. I know it’s stupid, but I’ve had the cat since he was 8 weeks old. He’s almost 11 now. I love that damn cat.
You’re doing the right thing, overlyverbose - stuck in a room by himself is no life for a cat. We had an old dog when I was a kid who got shot in the hind quarters and could no longer walk and get up stairs - he spent far too long all by himself in the basement, and I still resent my parents a bit for not doing the right thing for that poor old dog.
Goddamn it! “No Solicitors” means NO FUCKING SOLICITORS!! I don’t care if you think your cause is noble; I will NOT sign your petitions; I do NOT want to talk about election issues. Stay off my fucking front porch or risk getting your feelings hurt. FUCK! :mad:
Love, the misanthrope who lives inside.
I realize that hurricanes suck, but dammit, could they at least deposit some rain over here in CA, where it’s hot and dry and there is a high fire danger?
In the interest of fighting ignorance, that photo is from a video that got passed around as real, but is apparently from a Flemish sketch comedy show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOpIQJfl0bM
Please tell me you can obtain some means of self-defense.
(offers sympathetic hug and loan of morning star)
Dear waiter,
Why does your 60 ounce fishbowl cocktail come in a 32 ounce glass with 20 ounces of ice? Give me back my visa card, I’d like to pay the $30 tab with a $20 bill I’ve ripped in half.
Went to the MasterChef open call today. I’ve seen audition episodes from other shows like “America’s Got Talent,” and I was worried that there would be thousands of people there. It was from ten to six, and I couldn’t head over there any earlier than one because I was singing with the Dad Band until noon, and then I had to rush home and finish prepping my dish to take along (Shrimp Creole). I was worried that I’d get there, sit all afternoon in line and never get seen, so I revved up the food nice and hot and then put it in a pre-warmed Thermos. I got there around 1:45 and was seen at probably 5:15. By then the shrimp was a little overcooked and the sauce was barely warm when I plated it; with no way to warm the plate, the food got cold pretty fast. I was not invited to the callbacks.
I could have waited until 4:30 to get there and still been seen, and if I had, my food would still have been hot. Oh well, hindsight. I’m not sure the food was what got me cut anyway… they might have just decided I wouldn’t be a big enough asshole and would therefore be boring on TV. shrug
What a bummer. You need to work on your 'tude, I guess. My wife doesn’t understand why I get annoyed when she decides to finish a long email or read an article after I’ve said “30 seconds to food!” Some things just work better when they’re fresh and taste better when they’re hot. Scrambled eggs, for instance. :mad:
True dat. At least creole sauce is good even at room temperature. I just wish I’d told them I would WALK ON THE BROKEN BODIES OF MY COMPETITORS to win instead of claiming to be an easygoing guy.
I decided to dress up for Halloween this year, after a few years of just wearing an orange Jack O Lantern T-shirt and black yoga pants. I found a cute “Devil Fairy” costume on eBay - little red dress, red wings, and red devil horns. My plan was to ditch the horns and design a glittery red and silver makeup, add appropriate accessories, and go as a Sassy Red Fairy.
I just tried the dress on, and it fits well enough - but the wings! Ouch ouch ouch! The elastic is cutting my arms off! My hands were going numb after just a few minutes! Crap, crap, crap, now I either have to find more comfortable wings (good luck with that a few days before Halloween), or rethink the whole outfit! Not fair, I want to be a sassy red fairy! Pout, pout, pout!
That sucks Chef Troy. Will you try again and change things? Or once was enough?
Can you sew? Would it be hard to take the elastic off and sew a new (longer) one on? If they are anything like the wings I have, I had to fix the elastic halfway through the night (a couple years back) with a safety pin because it wasn’t affixed well enough. A few hand stitches would probably hold better than the job on the average costume pieces.
My friends are turkey buzzards. Buzzards because they came over to put their names on my stuff. I invited them to do this, but I couldn’t believe how they went through my kitchen cabinets. One of them put a sticky note on Spike. A different one crossed my name off my compressor and wrote his name on it. Suck it up guys, the cat and compressor are MINE.
Turkeys because they all brought me a beautifully wrapped gifts because they weren’t sure that they could be at my party. Blenders. Thrift store blenders. I now have 17 blenders. I don’t know how many of them actually work, I was laughing too hard to plug them in.
Just in time for the windows closing for the season, the housemate I share a bathroom with has taken to using Axe body wash. My bathroom smells like a middle school boys’ locker room.
Please come and live with me. I will be moving soon, but my very protective guardians will still look after you. When it comes to women being hurt, they don’t really care much about the legal system.
But, do be warned…one of them might try to steal your bunny. I ride with buttheads, yanno.
I wish I could. I need to get out of this house. I have been living in a crime scene since the end of march. I want out of this town. Plan A has fallen trough (getting out of here and getting help) plan b has gone (getting out of here) I don’t have a c. I am feeling trapped and I don’t know what to do. Oh and the bunny has been sick for nearly 3 weeks now. I know more than the bloody vets.
I wish that fucker had killed me I really do.