It is Lobster Mini Season today and tomorrow. Lots of idiots about.
They’re baaaaack! Yep, the Lobster Mobsters are back in town by the boat loads. They can be seen crowding the local markets and liquor stores, taking on vital supplies such as buckets of fried chicken, cases of beer, bags of ice to keep all that beer cold)and, of course, a genuine Official Lobster Kit from Winn-Dixie to help them in their quest for the elusive langosta. They can also be seen gassing up at the local filling stations and getting gassed up at the local bars. On the big day, the boat ramp is blocked for an hour while our heroes are loading the beer filled cooler, a bottle of tequila, buckets of chicken, the wife, the kids and the dog. Then the search for the missing boat key begins. After a more or less successful boat launch, (usually accompanied by our Captain yelling directions to his wife while wildly waiving his beer can), she finally manages to back the trailer down the ramp on the fifth attempt and then parks the truck and trailer taking up three parking spaces. Then, off they go for an exciting day on the water anticipating their big Surf and Turf dinners. Weaving down the canal on full plane while chugging his forth beer of the morning and a shot of tequila, they make to a likely spot on the water. Neglecting to bring a Diver Down flag (“What the hell, forget about” our Captain says, “the other boat has one.”)they don their gear and over the side they go with their Official Lobster Kits and the hunt commences. After spotting a pair of antenna under a coral head, they proceed to maul the coral head, killing everything they touch, only to miss the quick and wily little lobster with the net. If they’re lucky they might just end up with a few “keepers” assuming they actually used the Official Lobster Gauge from the Official Lobster Kit. After a few day of the adventure at sea,(and a couple of nasty hangovers), our Captain gets ready to trailer the boat with a repeat of the drunken argument at launch time. Finally they’re ready to hit the road home with one lonely lobster in the cooler to show their friends and neighbors evidence of their successful hunt. With the wife not speaking to our Captain they’re off with four bad sunburns, one brutal hangover, two fighting kids and a dog with projectile diarrhea from eating a bucket of greasy chicken bones. Life returns to peace and quiet on our little Island Paradise and Mother Nature weeps when she sees the destruction the thousands of Lobster Mobsters have caused her glorious creation and tries to begin the healing process before the onslaught again next year, Yeah, there’s nothing quite like Mini-season.
Butters: Ah, yes, the Floridiot* Invasion. I’m dreading our similar invasion in October.
Today I had to drive down the Highway From Hell to watch the work-required annual “don’t touch needles or anything that has bodily fluids on it” video. It is Ungodly Hot out and poor Polly Subaru still has no AC, so I was les miserable on the way home. So of course I ran errands. I got some more peaches for breakfast and sushi for tonight’s supper. That’s when I discovered the most wonderful thing ever: oreos were on sale! Then I went out to my car and discovered the second most wonderful thing: my check engine light went off! This gives me an idea as to a possible solution that may not be so expensive and also an incentive to get my AC fixed.
I will not wish **swampy **a happy birthday today because I did that last week and nobody corrected me.
*(There is a marked difference between Floridiots and Floridians. Floridians are nice, well-mannered people. The other are not.)
Howdy Y’all! First thanks for all the bday wishes. Does an old bear good!
I celebrated by goin’ to irk and to the doc today. No end to my wild side! I had a nice dindin at Sonny’s. I got ribs and OYKW got smoked chikin so we could both have ribs 'n chikin. Ain’t that sweet!
'Tis 98 Amurrkin out with a heat index of 109. ICK! We’s in for the night in the nice cool cave.
The trip to the college went well. He dealt with it, on his own.
The annoying thing is, the form we got last week that needed my signature, was the wrong one. So he had to wait while they printed out a bunch of new forms for him to fill out and sign. I didn’t need to sign anything, if he had been given the correct forms last week this part of the process would have been done.
I was wondering what was taking him so long.
I don’t remember it being so complicated when I went to school.
I went to an ice-cream place yesterday, and surprise! A friend of mine is working there! Ice cream tastes better when prepared for you by a friend.
Also, I was just looking at the comments on a YouTube video and someone accidentally typed “dongs” instead of “songs” and that made me laugh harder than I care to admit.
You get Pittsburgh fans? YOU get Pittsburgh fans? WHAT THE FREAK DO YOU THINK I GET STUCK WITH YEAR ROUND FOR EVERY FREAKING SPORT IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, HUH??? :eek: :eek: :eek: :smack:
Speaking of seasons, I used to love going to Vermont for bangling (a special firearms season for fishing) until it got national press and the idjits started making a point out of it. Even though I was an out-of-state-er I had done it long enough to be considered a local until the serious tourons (which is a pseudo-Delaware combination of “tourist” and “moron”) started messing it up for everyone.
Doggio, Lately I’ve been having visions of him staggering home drunk. In less than a year it’s legal for him to drink and there are a lot of places to drink within walking distance.
I doubt he will, he got mad at me for giving him a rum ball once and I had to convince him all the alcohol is cooked out of the manicotti with vodka sauce.
Butters - that sounds awful, good writing and good reading, but awful
That’s when I discovered the most wonderful thing ever: oreos were on sale! 
