My husband recently requested that I make a file that contains any information he would need in the event of my death or incapacitation. (No, I don’t think he’s planning my demise.) I handle all the retirement planning, pay the bills, and do the online banking. He doesn’t know the passwords or where most of the stuff is. I’m going to create a file with banking information, retirement accounts, and the corresponding passwords. When I’m done, I’ll put it in our safe.
Here’s my question: what else should go in this file? Am I forgetting some crucial piece of information that I need to leave him? We’re good on a will, medical power of attorney, etc. I just want to make sure I’ve got the personal household stuff covered.
I figured there was no better group of people to ask; you guys usually think of everything.
Thanks for the help, and here’s hoping it’s a piece of completely unnecessary planning.
-Details of ISP and email accounts, including passwords, server names and settings.
-Details of logins for message boards (it’s often the wish of the deceased that the community be informed of their demise) and other online things like eBay and PayPal accounts (in case there are any outstanding balances or transactions to wrap up.
I’ve been thinking about creating a file like this for a while, but the thing that puts me off is security - it’s one little folder that contains solid gold as far as an identity thief is concerned. How do you intend to keep it secure?
This week I received a notice from my ISP/phone company asking me to give them the name(s) of anyone with authority to access ISP/phone records. I didn’t read the fine print, but apparently it’s so they can comply with some federal regs.
The phone/ISP accounts are in my name only, so I filled out the form so they’d know it’s okay to deal with my husband as well as me.
So phone/ISP accounts might be another detail to consider.
How are your vehicles titled? I had some extra paperwork to get a vehicle in my name after my first husband died. His name was on the title but mine wasn’t.
Does your spouse know about all your insurance, including credit life on loans, group plans through your job?
If you want any of your personal property to go to friends or relatives, write that down for him.
Awhile back I typed up a list of all our credit cards, with account numbers, website addys and passwords. That’s been really helpful. If he’s not net savvy, maybe even print out the home pages and highlight the links he’ll need to click.
My husband has a fairly large safe downstairs, in which he stores firearms. There’s a corner of it that is also a firebox. I plan to put the folder in the firebox. There are three people that have the combination for the safe: me, my husband, and our executor (my brother). If we all three die in the same car … well, they’ll have to cut it open, I guess.
The firebox in the safe is also where we keep other papers, like passports, car titles, house deeds, etc. It seems pretty secure to me. I hadn’t thought of a safe deposit box, and I’ll consider that, but I’m not sure we need to do that.
Thanks for the suggestions so far. There is already stuff I hadn’t thought of.
If it were me, I’d slip in a little handwritten “I Will Always Love You” on a red cutout heart. Just to reach out from beyond the grave for one last kiss.
Mortgage information, insurance/homeowner’s policies, tax returns, marriage certificate(s), employment records ( for SS and retirement accounts) any relevant birth certificates.
warranties/details of large purchases like new heating system.
I like robardin’s idea, too. I’ll have to do that.
I need to do this for my husband. He doesn’t even know where I keep the blank checks (and doesn’t want to know sigh)
How you want your funeral conducted? I have copies of that with my sister(who is my executrix) and on file at the church I attend. When I submitted it for their files the cathedral dean sighed “I wish more people would do this.” I guess it can be a trial for people when they are grieving. Also, do you have a pre-paid funeral plan?
My mother’s body, when she dies, is going to a medical school. Those are important papers, if such is your inclination.
I meant as a safeguard aginst batshit inconsiderates showing up later with claims like “that big leatherbound Lord of the Rings that she loved? She borrowed that from me, I want it back”.
I have a similar file in OneNote that’s password-protected. Along with items already covered like location of a will, insurance policy information, etc I also have the following:
~All my personal email addresses with passwords and IDs
~All my frequent flier numbers and passwords
~Credit card information (although we are married, all our finances including credit cards are separate)
I also listed the online forums I visit the most with PW and IDs so if he wants to he can post something there or just close out the accounts.
My mother recently started a list for me - she included all of her bank account details, credit cards etc and contact names at the bank for anyone she specifically deals with. I already know her email password because I set it up for her. She has also included various instructions for her funeral, such as what clothes she wishes to be dressed in when she’s in her casket, what music she wants and which hymns she wants sung at the funeral service.
She already has a pre-paid funeral plan so a lot of that information is duplicated from there, but she’s had a chance to leave me her personal wishes so that I won’t have to decide what she would have wanted to wear.
You ought to consider that you and your husband might possibly die together - certainly not that rare a way to go.
When there’s nobody but the pets left in a household, it’s difficult for people adopting the pets to get their medical records, so you might find out how to give others access. I think a signed letter to your vet might be all that’s needed - certainly the vet would know. I went through this just last spring.
Some list of any regular services would be good to have. When I had owned my home about eight months, I was very startled to meet an obviously badly mentally handicapped man with a huge backpack sprayer, spraying our new vegetable garden against the back of my house with insecticide. Turns out there was a yearly insect control contract the seller had forgotten about.
Also, guarantees for major home repairs and appliances. I mean, list them, or point to where they are kept.
I have created just such a file. Most of the stuff listed above is covered. I gave a copy to my sister and her husband. The brother-in-law is a CPA and good with settling things, so I’m confident all will be taken care of, either to help my wife with matters, or to take care of everything if we die together.
One thing I have not seen mentioned is to be sure to identify any collections of value. I have a ton of books. About half are library donation fodder and the other half are worth over $20,000. If I were to not point out the wheat from the chaff, a $4,000 book could end up at the book swap.
So, any collectibel items I would for sure point out. Also helpful would be some contact infor for that particular market (how to sell, trade, donate to others who appreciate the same thing.)
