The Illiterati

The most secret of all secret societies… The Illiterati.

Who knows how deep this conspiracy is? I’m pretty sure every nation has their following and each with their own leaders. we need to band together and rid our world of this elite group of people, but who can we turn to? Can we call our local authorities and feel safe that the Illiterati will be put to trial as a massive conspiracy? Or do we as Dopers need to form a resistance under our own leader Uncle Cecil and rid ourselves of these ignorance loving human beings?

They are the anti-dopers. Where we try to fight ignorance, they laud their ability to be ignorant. They want people to join their elite group and will brainwash them completely.

Many of these secret society members roam unnoticed in the real world. Yet they will make themselves known when they blatantly disregard signs and warnings. Maybe Sauron’s *Emperor of the World * is part of this secret society.

Their only commandment to all members is to ignore all literature. May it be in simple sign form like no smoking where no smoking signs are posted, or to stand on the walk-side of an escalator. They will force their own rules and will ignore all the laws of the literate masses.

They call the TV their god and worship the television as a symbol of what’s good in this world. They loathe the education systems. Soon we will all become part of the Illiterati and renounce our reading ways. We’ll all but watch countless hours of TV to keep our minds busy from cracking open a book.

I fear I am unknowingly becoming part of this society as I spend hours up on hours in front of the boob tube. I am making my last plea as I am slowly becoming one of them. I feel as if any day now at a random location, I will be tapped on the shoulder and taken away to be fully integrated into their evil ways.

If I discontinue writing on these forums, you’ll know what happened to me.

I will be part of the Illiterati…

Now this was funny… :slight_smile: thanks for making my afternoon.

Kill Your TV!

I now have a new insult to hurl at people that they probably will not get.

I guess many people didn’t get my thread, or they are part of the Illiterati. Oh no, they’ve infiltrated the SDMB. Everyone, the world has ended.


But I work in the industry and post on these boards. Does that make me a doper agent?

standing in the eerie half-light of a flickering streetlight.
Moving slowly into the shadows, and turning up the collar of my black trenchcoat. It’s stopped raining, but oily puddles still stand in the cracked, potholed alleyway. Steam rises from the sewer grates, and somewhere in the night a stray cat lets out an unearthly howl. I lower my head, so the brim of my fedora blocks my face from view.

You mustn’t see me, or you’re a dead man.
You want to know about the Illiterati? You want to know how to defeat Them?
There are means of resistance. I can tell you…

But first, I have to go get my car. The sign says not to turn right on red, but I must do so, lest They discover that I am not truly one of Them.
Until we meet again - read, my friend. Read.
vanishing mysteriously into the darkness

Wait, you mean there’s actually an explanation for those people who drive past three “Right lane ends” signs, and then look surprised when they have to merge?

The sad part is we’d have to buy TV or radio time to get the word out on the resistence. Flyers just wouldn’t have any effect on the people we really have to help. :frowning: