I got married two months ago and am getting started on the paperwork to change my last name to his. There’s no patriarchal nonsense involved - his name is easier to pronounce and spell, and my parents and I don’t get along to the point where I’d really prefer to just have them out of my lives anyway so why should I keep them tagged to me by name? (Plus, my new name will have a better rhythm - my current name is kinda clunky.)
Anyway … I’m middle-named after my mother, who is REALLY the heart of my issues with my parents. (If my dad wasn’t still married to her - and so loyal to her, and so blind and/or in denial about who she really is - we probably could be fairly close. But that’s a separate rant, and to be honest the cause of much sadness for me.) So while I’m changing my last name, it appears that I have the option to also drop my middle name. Hell, I’m jettisoning my father from my name; might as well get rid of Teh Batshit Crazy while I’m at it.
Now, my father (non-U.S. born) has no middle name, and he’s mentioned off and on that this seems to cause him some … I dunno, discomfort perhaps? Like he’s missing something? But he’s never told me any concrete reason why it would ever be a problem. Whatever, he’s being weird, I guess.
So, to get to the point:
am I correct that I can drop my middle name when I submit my paperwork to the Social Security folks to change my last name?
is there any reason I SHOULDN’T drop my middle name? Would there be legal issues down the line? Is Homeland Security gonna get suspicious of me and put me on a watch list or something?
I should note: my first name is common but not terribly so AND I have an uncommon spelling of it, so I’m not worried about name mixups like John Smiths have. They’re both actually GQ topics to ask about, but I put this here because I figured people would have opinions as well as facts to share.
*** This is in the U.S. and I am an American citizen. Brits/Aussies/Canucks/Kiwis will need to find a different thread, I suppose.
Absent any familial reasons, the middle name is unique identifier to distinguish you from other people with the same first and last name as you. This can sometimes be helpful with numerous identification issues.
Is there any option to change your middle name instead of just dropping it? I would see about doing that. I wouldn’t just not want to have a middle name. That’s something to yell out at someone when you’re mad at them (at least that’s what my middle name was always used for )
If you don’t really want to keep it or drop it all together maybe you could just change it??
Neither of my parents have a middle name. They were born in central Europe where middle names weren’t common, at least among the non-aristocrats.
It is only an issue rarely. Most forms that ask for a middle name or initial can have the field left blank, no problem.
But once in a rare while there is a super-official form that cannot have any field left blank. One was when I was applying for a security clearance at a national laboratory, and they needed my parents information. The solution was to put (NMI) in the blank, meaning “No Middle Initial”
I don’t have a middle name. Never been a problem. In fact, I can tell when a certain company I’ve done business with in the past sells my info, because they gave me a middle initial. And that person with the name sorta like mine, but not, because I don’t have a middle initial, well, she gets a lot of junk mail.
Truth. When I was in college, I was called into the office and asked why I hadn’t paid my parking fees. This puzzled me, as I a) didn’t own a car, and b) didn’t know how to drive. The question was resolved when a check of the records revealed that the offender had the same first and last names as I did, but a different middle name. I was off the hook.
Would you be at all interested in shifting your maiden name to your middle name? And does Social Security even ask for a middle name? A lot of agencies and businesses only ask for the middle initial. You could pick an initial that you like and only have an initial.
I have a middle name, but don’t really use it. It’s not that important to me. My first name, while not uncommon, is unique in my family, so I can’t be confused with anyone else. The only thing that keeps me attached to my middle name is that it is the same as my father’s first name. If I didn’t have a middle name, I’m sure that I wouldn’t miss it.
My father doesn’t have a middle name, but has a middle initial. In the few instances where I’ve had to give information on my parents where a “mistake” can be dreadful, such as security clearance paperwork, I put “MIO” or “middle initial only”, or something to that effect.
The tradition is that a married woman that changes her name to take her husband’s last name replaces her middle name with her old last one. If you do something different, like decide to not have a middle name at all, keep your current middle name and drop your old last name, or pick a new middle name, you should probably be ready for people to goof it up and give you a hard time.
It had been awhile since I was married, I don’t really remember going through social security to change my name. I was also gypped out of a middle name, as was my mother.
By the way, I read somewhere a disproportionate number of killers have Wayne as a middle name.
My dad is U.S. born and has no middle name. Doesn’t seem to hinder him at all. In fact, he seems to take some satisfaction in being different than most other people.
I have a (2nd? 3rd?) cousin that has the same first, middle, and last name as I do, though I am 10 years older. It has caused some confusion, especially on Facebook.
My last name is very unique. Anyone with my last name is related to me and I’ve probably met at a family reunion. So other than my cousin, there is no one else to mix me up with.
My oldest son’s middle name is Jay. So whether you call him using is middle name or just his middle initial, it sounds exactly the same. He was about 5 when he figured out that people were sometimes referred to by their middle initial and he thought it was the coolest thing when he realized that his middle name sounds exactly like his middle initial.
As for women getting married and using their maiden name for a middle name, I know that women do it, but I’ve never met anyone that does. I see it a lot on Facebook, but I always figured it was just a way for women to be identified by people they lost contact with before they got married.
On Edit - I’ve been seriously considering changing my middle name to Danger. My middle initial would still be the same.
Bolding mine. Using ones maiden name as a middle name is certainly common among married woman, but it is hardly a tradition that carries so much weight as to cause difficulty if one doesn’t follow it.
My grandmother (born 1907, married in the 1930s), my mother (born 1935, married in the 1950s) and I (born in 1960, married in 2003) have all used our original middle names (not maiden names) with our new married names, and never encountered confusion or any other problems.
Isn’t a name change after marriage a full legal name change, the same way anyone else would change their names if they decided to? In that case, I would think you can change your name to anything you want.
I never looked into it, since in Québec marriage doesn’t grant a free name change - you retain your birth name on all legal/official documents and would have to pay to change it the same way anyone else would. Saved me the trouble of deciding if I wanted to take my husband’s name or not - I didn’t have to choose, since the government did it for me!
It was … very freeing, when I first realized it could be an option. It was like, hey! I’m an adult! I can do whatever the hell I want!
This input has all been helpful, thanks. Maybe I’ll pick a different name that doesn’t carry the same significance to me but starts with the same initial…
and am getting started on the paperwork to change my last name to his. There’s no patriarchal nonsense involved - his name is easier to pronounce and spell, and my parents and I don’t get along to the point where I’d really prefer to just have them out of my lives anyway so why should I keep them tagged to me by name? (Plus, my new name will have a better rhythm - my current name is kinda clunky.)
