Dad?! Feynn, my dad had The Claw too. Are we related?
Ok, Jarbabyj. While I was wrong about PFW’s ranking of him as a quarterback (they had number two behind Manning and I happen to agree on that one) here is what their article about him said:
That is hardly the “best, sexiest, thinnest, most pious, strongest, most patriotic football player ever” quote you have never seen in your 15 years as a football fan. Besides that, look at Street & Smith’s Pro Football preview which hads a huge article about the NEW quarterbacks Michael Vick, Duante Culpepper, Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb and Steve McNair and merely mentions Brett Favre to point out that he sat home from the Pro Bowl. The Sporting News’ preview magazine states: "Favre isn’t the same player he was three years ago . . . " and they rank Peyton Manning, Donovan McNabb and Kurt Warner as his equals or better than Favre.
Now, the above is a mere sample of the disparaging or doomsaying things written about Favre. On a final note, it is possible you and I are talking about different Brett Favres because you paint him as a whining crybaby. The Brett Favre I see is the one that congratulates guys after hitting him hard or getting a sack, smiles and jokes with guys like Warren Sapp and tells his own teammates to suck it up and play.
Okay, here’s the plan:
Step 1) October 7, 4:00 pm EST, RayJay stadium. Apply liberal doses of Sapp, MacFarland, Rice, Jones and White. The occasional Duncan, Brooks, Webster, Quarles to the solarplexus. For some added variety you bring Barber on the corner blitz. He tries to scramble, BAMM!, John Lynch right in the mug. Leaves game with mild ankle sprain, comes back, leaves game with mild concussion.
Step 2) October 14, 1:00, Ray Lewis in the house. Siragusa sandwich. Ouch, my thumb hurts. And those bruises from last week. Throws three interceptions.
Step 3) After the Vikings and a bye week, he is feeling healthy again, whoops, here come the Bucs again. Papers report a new heavy reliance on booze and painkillers.
Step 4) November 11, 1:00 pm, Soldier Field, Brian Urlacher wins, TKO in the second round. Bears on their way to an amazing 6-1 start.
Happy birthday again. Anybody can look all world against the Skins and the Lions, let’s see what happens when he plays some real teams.
Thank you Favrelover, but I noticed you didn’t bold the humming in between the criticism. “He’s still tremendous and a leader” (as if they fear the wrath of Favre)
They do the same damn thing to Sammy Sosa. He may drop a pop up in every game, but as long as he hits a homer, he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. No one admits imperfection! (although I DID note that you said you’ve been critical of him, which is nice)
and by the way, you said:
Which proves my point. You find it appalling that anyone would dare mention the position of Quarterback without listing Favre in the top three, and you take that as a SLAM? Please. The world revolves around the sun, not Mr. F. Someday…and hold yourself together for it, he may retire, or throw a bad game, and what’s everyone going to do then?
Shudder
But keep in mind, guy, I simply asked for the indulgence to rail on Favre for my birthday. No doubt he will lead you to a perfect season and a 42-0 superbowl victory. Even as we speak, I’m preparing a sacrifice of Milwaukee’s Best and painkillers in the hopes that Lord Immaculate will refrain from embarrassing the Bears this year.
Surely you have an archnemisis, Thras? There’s no one in football you dislike? No media personalities?
And, I guess I owe you a blowjob. So it’s a win win, eh?
jarbaby
No to crap too much on jarbaby’s parade…but Randy Moss can sniff my sweaty scrote.
Yeah the guys has speed, height and soft hands…but the guy is the epitomy of sore loser…nowhere to be found after a loss (the Chicago loss for example).
While most wide outs complain about pass interference, I’ve never seen a WR throw up his hands and look for the ref at the slightest incidental contact…as much as Moss.
I think I can get my fellow Central Division fans (sans the Viqueen fans) to join me in a hearty “fucky you” Moss.
for those dopers not into overdubbed Chinese movies…make that “fuck you”
Oh GOD. Of course. He is the worst, the WORST of the sore losers, and sore players. He basically doesn’t play unless it’s being thrown to him. No blocking, no fake outs, nothing. It’s easy to tell when Moss isn’t going to be in on the play. I got to see it first hand last Sunday.
jarbaby
No, I just don’t take every negative comment as trashing him nor do I take every positive comment as deifying him. Besides, I would not consider myself a “Favrelover.” God knows they probably do not have enough penicillin to cure whatever god awful disease I would catch given all of the tail he has chased in his life. (He even hit on my cousin once a couple of years ago.)
Actually, I do find the pathetic, marketing-hyped group of media jackals to be disgusting in their constant pursuit of new idols to create. I do think it unwise to do a story on the “new studs of the NFL” without at least mentioning that there are a few older guys out there that are still damn good. Its called reporting. Its called providing facts instead of bending over the conference room table of the NFL marketing gurus that want to keep pounding new “stars” up the asses of sports reporters in order to generate ad revenue and get these “young guns” endorsement deals.
But what would The Pit be with no one challenging your assertions.
I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the Packers and Bears split this year. Favre has a tendency to get complacent and he always has at least two horrible games a year (by my definition one that GB loses and in which he has 3+ interceptions).
<Thras slips in to a dream in which John Madden is being stretched on a rack while insects eat away the skin on his face.> Wait, what? Who me? Naw, I have no qualms with anyone.
Yep. (But from a lovely woman like you I think I am probably getting the better end of the bargain.) Next time I am in Chi-town I will let you know so I can collect.
Thras
[QUOTEOh GOD. Of course. He is the worst, the WORST of the sore losers, and sore players. He basically doesn’t play unless it’s being thrown to him. No blocking, no fake outs, nothing. It’s easy to tell when Moss isn’t going to be in on the play.[/QUOTE]
To Beagledave and Jarbabyj: “Harumph!” (For those unfamiliar with Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles that means I agree.)
That worthless, hopeless, brainless, dickless, sack of lumpy cat shit! The guy will not go over the middle, will not block, can’t run a precise route to save himself from being gang-raped, whines, cries, and throws worse temper tantrums than Cris “Miss Pissy” Carter.
I do want to say that when I initially hurt my back and was given a bottle of Vicadin, I called my friend an hour later and said,
“I can see how this became a problem for Brett Favre”
The dreamy state of being pain free and floating on Vic is like no other.
BUTTTTT! I still hate him, hate hate hate. Lord let my hate not diminish until justice is mine
jarbaby
Codeine rocks. I fell in love with the liquid version of it while suffering from my 3rd bout of strep in 3 months. And the fucking doctor still wouldn’t take out my tonsils, one of which actually split a little because it was so swollen.
But I digress.
Favre is a good QB, but I thought Al et al were definitely taking turns slobbing his knob. I’m probably just jealous, because as a Cowboy fan, I know we’d be 2-0 if we had even an average QB. 
Can I get a consolation hummer for having Manning on my team?
[hijack]
mrs beagledave now (the past couple of years) watches football with me…which is good
However, she grew up football-less, and so couldn’t tell the difference between a nickle package and an I formation. I try to answer her questions in as helpful way as possible…but she has said she’d like a football for dummies kind of book or website…
Any suggestions…especially from an estrogen enhanced point of view?
[/hijack]
You think you need consolation? My team (by default–I’m in Oregon) is Seattle. We’ve got Mike Holmgren as coach, and we still suck!
Next time you see Mike…tell him thanks for Ahman Green… 
As an avid Redskins fan, it was painful to watch them play so poorly and make a mediocre team look so good.
Despite the triple deepthroat though, at least it wasn’t Madden blowing the entire Cowboys team all at once.
You’re just pissed because one of those TD passes Monday night went to Antonio Freeman, thus dooming you to Fantasy Football cellardom.
Hey–I would give you the win if I thought I would see another one this season. Happy Birthday, anyway.
Oh, and Favre rocks! If I were starting a brand new team, I would want Manning. If I were starting teh Super Bowl, I would want Favre.
A hearty “Fucky You, Moss” from this BUCS fan.
Jarbabyj-
Hope your birthday was fun.
BTW: The fact that I have helped to fight ignorance in some fashion by educating you about Favre and his media critics is sufficient compensation for me. (Besides my wife probably wouldn’t appreciate me collecting.) I hereby assign my right to receive said hummer to Tapswiller whose team is pathetic enough that he could use a flute solo to cheer him up. (I was going to give the rights to soulmirk for being an “avid fan” of a clusterfuck organization until the comment about the Packers being mediocre was posted.)
Thras
jarbaby blowjobs are non-transferable
I mean, I have to put some restrictions on it. Next thing you know you’ll be transferring it to Favre, and I end up with canker sores for a month.
jarbaby