We had a few of those turn up (yes, even in NZ). In the end we got a family friend who was a JW to put us on the ‘Do not knock’ list.
In my flat I say ‘No thanks’ and close the door on them. I tend to be gentle nowadays because I yelled at a Hari Krisna (sp?) guy on the street once.
Ask her if she wants to join you and your spouse for a threesome.
Indianapolis?
You should do what my friend Sean did once when a couple JW’s came to his place.
Be nice, and invite them in for tea. Let them talk for a while, then say: “How much faith does it take to believe in a fake religion?”
They’ll hem and haw for a couple of minutes, then leave and not come back.
F_X
I must respectfully disagree, F.X.
I have had some small experience with these people.
Being spat upon by the infidel is part of their religion. That’s why they go out and witness in the first place.
They DO want to convert people, sure. But being spat upon, abused, ridiculed, and shat upon by the Profane Ones is PART OF THE PROCESS. They EXPECT it. Hell, I think they WANT it. It’s part of the deal. It’s how the JWs buy their way into Heaven.
I once lived in a neighborhood where the sonsabitches routinely canvassed the whole area two, three times a month. They came to my door EVERY time, INVARIABLY too &%$# early on a weekend morning.
I was not rid of them until I went full-blown-gonzo berserk and terrorized a fat lady and her children into total hysterics, and was damn near arrested for my pains. I posted the whole story around here somewhere, but I forget where at the moment.
And that’s what it took to get them to LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE…
Hahahaha! I remember that post.
If you want to be rid of JWs you have to be firm and do not enter into any conversation with them. Be a broken record. State your desire to be left alone, and absolutely nothing more.
They have training on how to handle every situation. Any discussion is an open door to them.
That said, I don’t mind the JWs. Here, they knock at respectable hours. (I would never, ever become a JW, though.)
A former Witness told me once that all you have to say is “I’m a disfellowshipped Witness.” Supposedly Witnesses are not allowed to speak to former members, and they will just turn and walk away. I’ve never tried it though.
Huh?
You mean to tell me that this group of crazy people who will hound you to the %$#&@ grave to make you rearrange your worldview to correspond with theirs…
…WON’T TALK TO PEOPLE WHO USED TO BE ONE OF THEM?
Man, just when I thought these people couldn’t GET any crazier without actually doing suicide bombings…
Yes, that is correct. Actually the best way is to say ‘Im an apostate’. A disfellowshipped person is being shunned for some violation of the rules, an apostate no longer believes at all.
I’ve gotten nekkid when I saw it was them (and the mormons) through the peephole. I’ve had them assault me in my driveway smoking a cig and holding a beer. I’ve tried a lot of things, but the best solution I’ve found is to ask them if they would be interested in converting to your religion (make something up). When they say no, ask them why they expect you to break your “proven” faith when they will not even consider another. Use your imagination after that, but make sure it is in gear. As you have noted, the bastards are persistent. The best defense against religious freaks is to learn the Bible, Book of Mormon, and and everything else you can get your hands on and use their words against them. It is tedious reading, but worth it in a mean sort of way.
I once asked two Mormon recruiters why they went to their temple instead of following their own mind. They told me that the temple showed them what was in their hearts. When I told them that if they needed somone else to tell them what was in their hearts, then it either couldn’t possibly be coming from their own hearts, or they were too stupid to know what was truly in their hearts, the look on their faces was priceless.
Being rude, nude and crude can be fun, but only makes them want to save you more, although the initial shock value is worth a few personal chuckles for a long time:) Use logic and become a religious freak in your own right. It at least works for me.
Aw, I kind of like JWs. They show up here from time to time, always at a decent, daylight hour, and they always go away when I tell them “I’m already churched, thanks.” Not that it matters, but they tend to be really well-dressed; they almost put the Mormons to shame!
I worked with a JW lady once; she had a self-deprecating air and tended to refer to “this crazy religion of mine”. That gets a lot of respect in my book.