The Kiddie Candy Kibash

In My Humble Opinion
1

When I enrolled the twins in nursery school last year, I was given the usual Handbook for Parents with all kinds of information on the school’s policies and operations. It also included the standard “When it is their turn, make sure your kids bring healthy treats to share with the group!” statement next to a brief lecture on nutrition and the importance of not sending your kids to school strung-out on sugar.

We brought apple slices and graham crackers, yogurt and bananas; that seemed to be fine. I restrict their sweets anyway. My kids eat too many pretzels, but I know better than to give them more than a tiny amount of sugary treats (very little juice, and NO ice cream).

But then, a few months later, the TEACHERS started supplying candy to the little rugrats. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, on and on. And not in small quantities, either – 20 pieces of candy is a LOT when someone only weighs 30 lbs.

They were sneaky about it, too - they’d have the kids make some kind of candy transportation device as their craft du jour, and the teachers would load them up with the goods and put them in the kids’ “cubbies” to be retrieved at the end of the day (along with whatever toys the kids had brought from home - my son brought his fireman pajamas for a few weeks there).

So the kids KNEW damn good and well that they had candy coming to them.

You can’t make a scene taking their candy away in the hall at school, people would notice and it’s loud in there already, nobody wants to hear piercing shrieks and wails. Even out in the parking lot there are witnesses, although it is kind of amusing to think of 15 mothers wrestling their small fry to the ground on the asphalt.

No, instead I’d let mine carry theirs to the car (I was busy holding their hands, jackets and miscellaneous debris anyway). Once they got inside, the fight was basically over. They’d have 4 pieces unwrapped and in their mouths before I even got them buckled in.

So my question is, do I protest this wanton distribution of sugar to the Director before the new year begins? Or does this make me a big grump?

2

Try asking to see the “Handbook for Teachers” with the stipulated guidelines about how much sweet stuff to provide for the brats…

3

I’d complain about the amount, but not about the candy itself.

4

I’d complain. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, but I would mention that the Handbook for Parents discourages candy, you as an individual limit sugar, and it annoys and frustrates you when on every holiday your kids come home with 20 pieces of candy.

It may not change anything, especially if other parents don’t care, but I think it’s worth bringing up before the new year begins.

5

I would complain, as well, and choosing to complain about the amount, not the existence, seems to be a good political move. I’m not a total food nazi - we have candy sometimes, but as they themselves seem to be aware, candy should be a treat. 5 pieces of candy (two for kid, two for parental units and one for the floor under the couch) are enough for any preschooler to bring home to share. If they know there are more people at home, then it’s not unreasonable to slip Mom or Dad a few extra pieces for other siblings or something. 20 is just ridiculous. Maybe suggest that they use cotton fluff or shredded construction paper as filler so the candy isn’t lost in the art project.

6

Kids like candy. Limiting their candy intake is a perfectly reasonable thing to do as their parent. However, there are also occasions where receiving candy is culturally/socially accepted. For example; every one of the occasions/holidays you listed in the OP is normally associated with sweets, particularly for kids.

I personally think you are over reacting. IMHO it’s better to allow your kids candy but teach them how to eat it in moderation. I also don’t see what’s wrong with a little ice cream unless they are lactose intolerant or otherwise unable to eat it.

7

Oh, ice cream itself is great – I’m just waiting until we finish building the Infinite Energy Transformer in the backyard, so they can power the house while they burn it off.
It seems kind of weird to me that people get off on giving other people’s kids candy, especially when they lecture ME on nutrition, but whatever. By Valentine’s day I finally got a clue and simply quit buying anything myself.

I do sometimes give them a little chocolate, like M&Ms. Or stars - those confectioner’s decorations sold in the baking aisle. Little tiny drops of sugar in pretty pastel colors. THAT gets the playroom cleaned up!

8

Certainly you should say something. When we saw that our daughter (10 months old) was given sugary ceral for breakfast, we told the staff that we would prefer she not have that sort of food. They were happy to work with us, they even seemed glad that we were making an effort to keep the intake of sugar down.

Of course our boy, who is three, does not like candy or soda. We get a lot of comments about how he is strange. He just has never had access to that kind of food. The strange thing is he is the product of overweight parents that have a history of eating way too much candy (trying not to saddle our kids with our bad habits.)

9

Is 20 pieces of candy a moderate amount for a 2 year old (3 year old? I forget how old they are now, fessie)? I don’t think it is. And as for taking away 3/4 of the candy to teach moderation…well, let’s just say it isn’t like taking candy from a baby. :wink: I’d resent the school, who themselves don’t allow sweets, making me the bad guy when they themselves decide to flout their own rule.

10

Yeah, it’s the prying it out of their little fingers part that I especially resent.

Let’s see, they turned 3 midway through the year. I tend to think 2 Starburst and 3 M&Ms is absolutely enough on any given day.

11

Yeah, I’d complain. While it is considered normal to give out candy on holidays, it’s gotten way out of hand, and it ought to be under parental supervision. 20 pieces of candy is a heck of a lot.

12

I’m not saying that you should pry the candy out of thier hands. My daughter was allowed to have a piece or two after dinner for dessert. She sat on her Halloween candy until Christmas. Maybe she just has the resolve of Ghandi for a (at the time) 4 year old.

13

I think you’re being a little too strict. IMH (and non-parental) O, forbidden fruit is always more attractive. By being so restrictive you make them not know how to deal with it when they do get it. They want to cram it all in because they know you’ll take it from them. How much easier to say “wow- that’s a lot of candy! You can have two pieces every day!”

My youngest neice is now 15. Throughout her childhood she’d treat-or-treat and get a big basket of candy (pounds!). Then she’d throw away what she had still left over from Easter. At Easter she always had a ton of candy left over from Hallowe’en which would be tossed. And she’s a 5’7" size seven girl.

StG

14

At 3, unless you pry it out of their hands and dole out on your terms (like the two pieces a day) they’ll shovel it in.

There’s been a few times where I get home and find my son buzzed to the gills and a little maniac because he was given candy to take home from the dayhome. Mom doesn’t move as fast as I do, so she doesn’t always catch it before he’s eaten half the bag and (sometimes) already ruined his supper (and he’ll be up until god knows when, past my own bed time).

fessie sounds a little stricter than I am with the sweets, but even I find that much candy too much. Especially if the kids are allowed to pick it up themselves and bring it home/to meet their parents. A lot of candy can disappear in a couple minutes when they know Mommy will take it to dole out over a week instead of letting them eat it all now.

15

Best. Teachers. Ever. Seriously, at that age, acquiring candy was my sole purpose in life. I would have learned the year’s lessons in a week in exchange for a box of Dino-sour Eggs. Also, for children, candy is a valuable form of currency that helps to teach. Like cigarettes in the clink.

But yeah, 20 pieces seems like a lot, unless you’re talking Smarties.

16

I think the issue of whether fessie could approach candy and her children differently is entirely separate from the issue of whether it is appropriate to complain about the amount (and perhaps the frequency) of candy being doled out to her children by the Teachers.

17

I do too. This isn’t about fessie’s rules - the rule in question is the rule of the school. That’s why she should talk to them about it. It’s not about convincing them that her ideals of moderation should be followed; it’s about reminding them that their own rule is not being followed, by them. Bringing moderation into it is merely an attempt to not be a spoilsport on my part.

18

I told my son’s preschool teacher that if he continued to get candy at school, I would start feeding him Cocoa Puffs and Mountain Dew for breakfast. Then she could deal with the results. She eased up on the candy, after that.

My kid already has enough behavioral issues, and refined sugar and chocolate make him totally uncontrollable. He’s in a special ed preschool, for heaven’s sake, with a bunch of other kids with similar developmental and behavioral issues. Who would think that loading them up on sugar is a good idea? “Hey, see that kid who spits and bites and throws things and pounds his head on the floor and hits everyone? Let’s serve ice-cream-cones coated with frosting and candy sprinkles! Yeah, that’ll work!” (No joke, they did that one year. I was less than thrilled.)

19

Unless it’s a special occasion, the teachers at my sons’ (ages 5 and 3) daycare don’t give them sweets to eat during the day, but they do sometimes give them a bag of candy for some reason (Halloween, Valentine’s Day, someone’s birthday, etc.) We have a plan and rules about sweets. (1) If it’s candy, it goes into their special box–one airtight plastic container per child. (2) They are allowed one to three pieces (depending on the size of the candy) for dessert IF they eat a fruit or vegetable during the meal. They know the rule and they don’t violate it. I’ve never had either kid shove candy in their mouth–they know the dessert rule. We usually have to throw candy out because it gets old before they can finish it. (3) Gummy candy (like fruit snacks) is forbidden because the dentist said that that kind of candy sticks to the kids’ teeth and makes nasty cavities. (4) Sweets are never allowed as a snack–they are a dessert item only.

(5) My kids can have dessert twice a day–their father is a (very skinny) chocoholic, and he eats dessert at lunch and dinner. The kids do it too, when they’re in the mood. We limit the serving and they have to eat the fruit or vegetable first or they don’t get any. Ice cream is the favored dessert of my 5-year old; the 3-year old likes cookies. Both kids are well within normal weight ranges and are very active.

If the teachers are letting the kids eat however much candy they want, then there’s a definite problem to be addressed–they should be taking their cues from the parents. All things in moderation, after all.

20

For the record, the sugar->hyperactivity idea seems to be a myth.

Anticipating the heated replies: anecdotes and personal experiences, compelling as they may be, are very poor evidence of causality.