About 10 years ago, I decided to throw the surprise party to end all surprise parties for my husband’s birthday. He is really into his b-day - certainly moreso than I ever was about mine - and I try to do something special every couple of years. But he’s usually pretty good at figuring out what’s going on.
Not this time.
His birthday is Nov 3 - it fell on Sunday in 1991. I got several of our twisted friends to agree to show up at our house at 6AM in their jammies and slippers. I’d left the side garage door unlocked and the light on. The plan was for everyone to assemble in the garage, then come down the hall singing “Happy Birthday”. I’d turn on a lamp, hubby would be nekkid in bed surrounded by our friends (OK, I’d be nekkid too, but there were blankets) and hilarity would ensue, followed by breakfast. The most difficult part would be hiding the mini-quiches and pastries from him the day before.
I woke up very early that morning - listening for our guests, hoping I’d still be married when the day was over. One of the guests was supposed to bring his video cam, so we’d preserve it all for posterity. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten how light a sleeper he is. I also forgot about some of his military training.
It’s very dark at 6AM in November in Florida. All of a sudden, there was this gawd-awful noise coming down the hall - someone found kazoos and tambourines! Almost instantly, there was a gawd-awful sound in bed - screaming like I’d never heard before. Several shadowy forms started circling our bed… I was trying to tell hubby that it was OK, so I didn’t get the lamp turned on. He launched himself thru the air at the first figure, still screaming.
I’m not sure how I did it, but I got out of bed, herded everyone into the hall, put on a robe, and turned on the light in about 2 seconds. Against the chest of drawers (which had been displaced about 6") was our friend Mike - a skinny little bald guy with a full beard. Part of his festive attire were hair curlers in the beard. On top of him was my naked spouse - rather a bear-like man with a full beard himself. Oh, I wish I’d had a camera.
Once the light was on, the screaming stopped. Hubby got up and helped Mike up… poor Mike was just a bit shaken, and there were haircurlers all over the place. About this time, our daughter (age 6 at the time) came in the room crying - she had counted on being part of the fun. I comforted the kid, hubby put on some sweats, and we went to join our guests.
From that point on, it was a lovely time. Betty got the coffee going, Rob showed up late with the vid cam, we admired each other’s jammies, and we had a yummy breakfast. It only took about an hour for hubby’s pulse to return to normal. He opened his gifts, then the guests departed for church or whatever.
We’re still married, our friends still talk about that morning, and I’ve not thrown a surprise party since then.
