I have the body of Fabio, the wit of Noel Coward and the intelligence of Stephen Hawking.
I’ve recently welcomed Jesus into my life and can’t wait to distribute Jack Chick tracts at all of the bus stops around town.
I’m carrying on a torrid online love-affair with Polycarp and have convinced him to leave his wife go with on a 'round the world cruise and have HOT MONKEY SEX on each continent!
I will never post a meanless message as a pretense to bump a thread.
Fenris
I am not addicted to gaming.
I am not bored out of my mind at school. I love taking basicly the same class with a different name for three semesters!
I am not overly fond of sex.
I am not the least bit submissive. That riding crop is mine, dammit.
My children are perfect angels and I have never gotten a phone call from the school.
My house is so spotless my mother would be jealous.
I do not look at this thread daily.
I find Fenris mildly amusing. Sometimes.
I’m really surprised that many of the posters have mentioned sex, tits, sex, more sex, more tits, and of course, sex.
i am not ready to loose my viginity at age 20.
i don’t care that the guy i absolutely HATE didn’t call me.
i always have great relationships and i have never had a guy not talk to me again because i wouldn’t have hot monkey sex with him (also i hate that phrase and have not even considered working it into normal everyday conversations!
i think that all you people are sluts and pimps and that being a newbie is the “cool” new thing…yea, you’re all just jealous of me in this shitty little site.
also, i’m NOT upset that i’m not on the “which dopers belong together” thread with all the other girls (andygirl…all the other ones i remember but just don’t wantto list)…i have not spent time wondering if it’s because no one knows me or if i just should have foregone my individualism and spelled it girl. After all, others opinions make up my entire sense of self.
i don’t think i’m overdoing it with this post.
peaople woo misspel wurds ahr dum.
i know what hi opal means.
i didn’t turn 20 on saturday.
i ABSOLUTELY didn’t put transmition fluid in my radiator and it didn’t eat away the hoses that bad. My air conditioning works because of this.
i hate chiefscott’s flirting techniques.
and i’m NOT going to fall for the first guy who has a romantic side and sends me flowers or some of that other crap that makes me vomit.
me? forget my sig??? NEVER!!!
I have always admired the wit and brilliance, to say nothing of the suave personal presentation, of Cyberian54/Optamissed/John John/Johnsbury1/fatherjohn.
I’m expecting to have a terrible weekend!
(Damn Texans!)
I love my job!
I’m absolutely terrified at the thought of leaving here & going on adventures on the other side of the world.
I’m not counting down to the second when I leave this job that I love.
I’m really sad that the Comedy Festival is in town.
I hate having my friend that I don’t see very much in the same city as me.
I’m not buying anyone else drinks this festival.
I hate that it’s my birthday on Monday.
I am so NOT looking forward to seeing Boston Lover ™ whom I haven’t seen in 3 months. I’m sure it’s going to be totally boring, unromantic, and generally irritating to spend 3 whole days with him in a hotel.
I am THRILLED that my kids are with their dad instead of me. I know he is an honest, upstanding man, and isn’t manipulating them in the least.
I am sick to DEATH of being mentioned in every frickin’ flirt thread. It seems that no matter how quiet and reserved I try to be, EVERYONE notices me.
I am really, really glad that I haven’t been able to access Straight Dope chat for 3 days. I probably don’t need to talk to any of you uninteresting, humorless bastards anyway.
Being bisexual is SO lame.
Having an open marriage is SO lame.
My new exciting hair color (which makes my user name a lie!) is super-dooper hella-lame.
I’m really happy that I have to leave the UK in three months. I’ve been stuck here for two years, and quite frankly, I’m sick of it. Enough already!
The best part is that I don’t have to see my friends again for years. If I’m lucky, I might never have to see them again. Selfish, slimy rat-bastards that they are. Good riddance, I say!
I am sooooooooo okay about this.
(On the other hand, it is a shame that I have to see my sister again. I’ve quite enjoyed being out of her life for two years.)