The Life Improvement Check-In Thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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This thread supports any folks trying to make positive changes in their lives, which may include fitness, weight loss, reading more, getting out of an unhealthy relationship, or improving their productivity. It is about any behavioral change you are trying to implement in order to make your life better. Your big ideas, sudden strokes of insight, frustrations, and little victories here, please.

As my short-ass self has topped out at 200lbs and my chronic back pain has intensified, I started working with a fitness trainer about two weeks ago, and in general have been feeling great due to regular exercise. I’ve made significant improvements to a diet I can only describe as catastrophic and probably lost a little weight (though I’m not really tracking that ATM.) The back pain has diminished already. My biggest problem, or hardest challenge, I guess, is curbing the emotional eating. It is my go-to stress regulator, particularly fast food and delivery.

I’ve also been trying to fix my brain with EMDR, unfortunately, this has a temporary side-effect of making me even more emotional than usual. This week I hit a bout of insomnia that has been making me feel damned miserable, and have felt myself slipping off the nutrition bandwagon. I’ve had stomach issues all week and ate almost nothing on Wednesday except coke and tacos. I’ve reached a point where I’m so sleep-deprived that basic functioning is really difficult. So today on the way home from work I thought to myself, ‘‘Fuck it, I’m going to hit the drive through and get a burger and fries.’’

My reasoning brain asked, ''What is the likely outcome of that?"

A: Temporary relief from misery, then physical illness, then guilt

‘‘And what if I just go straight home?’’

A: Probably won’t fix any food until I’m too depressed to cook.

Conclusion: Either way I’m going to feel miserable. I might as well go home and feel miserable without sabotaging my diet. This felt like a rational decision more than a battle of willpower.

So, I went home. I’m not saying my choice in food was stellar today, but it wasn’t a burger, fries, and more caffeine to keep me awake at night. I can live with that.

Now you.

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I’m bumping this because I’m too tired to answer right now but I don’t want you to think no one’s interested. I’ll reply tomorrow. In the meantime, maybe others will see it.

I read that the appetite hormones get messed up when we don’t get enough sleep. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I think today you can blame on them! A burger and fries aren’t that bad, really. I would’ve eaten sweet stuff which is worse.

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There are a few things I’d like to change. Been looking for a job for a while, and a relationship for ages. There don’t seem to be any massive deal-breakers for either of those, but progress has been scant.

On the other hand, I did lose more than 30 pounds last summer and have only gained about 5 back. I made a few changes to my exercise and eating habits, and I need to pick those up again now that the weather is finally improving.

Spice Weasel, I know what you mean about eating poorly or being too depressed to go to all the effort of cooking. When you do eat out, have you considered looking for something a little healthier than burger and fries? I know none of the alternatives are probably great for you, but maybe a sandwich or burrito would be an improvement and break you out of old habits. A couple things I did were to drink water with meals except for dinner, and then tried to cut down my portion sizes during dinner. It made a big difference.

I do have a productive week ahead of me. I volunteered for a big public festival in Boston. Could be some 12-hour days. That’s one way to keep busy.

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I’m taking much longer breaks from the news and social media.

Sorry about the length, but I’d like to explain my reasoning (it’s not politics, at least not directly).

I think there has been a fundamental shift in the relationship between us and our media. In the past, we were customers presented with products by the media, as part of delivering news. Today it’s flipped around, and we are the product being presented to advertisers. And media has devolved into glaring, flashing carnival barkers shrieking at us to keep us watching. Trying to fill 24 hours of news screen with the product (our eyes) requires piling on as much strife, stress and fear as possible. There isn’t really that much news, so minor things get elevated to world-ending levels of hype.

Some examples (again, avoiding politics here),
1977 weather report: “A cold front is moving thru the Midwest this afternoon and storms are likely for Kansas and Oklahoma…”
2017 weather channel: “46 MILLION PEOPLE AT RISK FROM DEADLY STORMS!”

I stumbled onto this sort of by accident. I’ve spent the last few years in a classified work area where no news media or devices are allowed. No cellphones, no internet, nothing at all. After being isolated for 9 hours a day, 5 days a week from all media – I noticed my stress level dropped quite a bit.

So… my goal is only consuming news or social media on the weekends. The only exception is a quick, time-shifted look at traffic in the mornings (and sdmb of course). Weather takes 10 seconds to read on my phone.

Wish me luck.

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I left social media about six months ago and have zero regrets. It’s a lot harder to see what’s happening when you’re in the middle of it, but when you get outside and get that distance, it’s easier to see how these media sites manipulate us through our own outrage/fear addiction. Things have become so targeted and sensationalized at this point that we’ve become commodities more than people.

I listened to a Reply All podcast once that interviewed the guy who invented pop-up advertising. He really hadn’t intended to unleash the monster he did, he was just trying to solve a problem on his website when it happened. When asked what he most regretted, he said it was that this form of invasive advertising had reinforced the idea that the internet should be ‘‘free’’ – at the cost of our constant surveillance. He was disturbed with the casualness with which most people approach that fact that we are being constantly spied upon and data mined.

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As I posted earlier this year, my single New Year’s Resolution was simple. I was going to become more positive.

And so far, I’ve been less successful than I’d hoped.

I tried a few things, such as writing down positive things that happened during the week. That practice lasted about two months. It was difficult to find things to write about. There was a story about a bus driver who’d been nice to me, and about my finding some packages of adult diapers abandoned in a dumpster that I could use for my mom. Other than that, most of it sounded lame so I stopped.

My handwriting bothers me now because I keep skipping letters for some reason, and I always worry about my brain because of it. Writing something like “I saw a cute squirel on a phone ple”, and then obsessing about the missing r and o seemed counterproductive.

I’m still trying to consider the bright sides of things, but really, what can I say about a year in which the best time I had was being hospitalized with asthma. All I did was lay around for three days and have people bring me food. That was the high point of my year, and now it’ll cost me thousands that I don’t have.

So no, I can’t say I’ve kept my resolution.

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I’m with pullin. Every day, all day, something. I’m getting newsed out. I’m still on Facebook but I’ve backed off Twitter A LOT because of all the negativity. It seems like so much of the news is reporting what happens on social media OMG TRUMP BLOCKED STEPHEN KING! Who the everloving fuck cares?

I agree with what Aaron Sorkin said in Newsroom…news broadcasts should be commercial free. That will help stop some of the sensationalizing for ratings.

I’m doing good with my fitness. We had biometric screenings at work this week and I am absolutely crushing my HDL cholesterol (it’s supposed to be higher than 46 and I’m at 86, booyah) but I could do better eating more veggies.

I’m also going to concentrate more on my writing. I have a story in the works but I’m not as diligent at working on it as I should. I feel a bit guilty diving in, like there are much better ways to spend my time. I need to get past that.

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This is a nice thread idea.

For me I need to lose weight, and I know how to lose weight. The problem is that I’ve also got an anxiety disorder I’m trying to keep under control and weight loss activates it. I’d rather be fat than have anxiety so I’m stuck. But maybe I’ll figure something out. Right now I can’t do one without the other.

With Mueller being appointed, I don’t feel as much anger or concern about politics. I know Trump could fire him but seeing the wheels of justice turn makes me less angry and frustrated. I’m trying to avoid politics more, spending less time on political boards and forums and trying to read non political ones.

Trying to work green smoothies into my daily diet.

Keeping up the work to keep my anxiety and depression at bay.

I thought about doing a gratitude journal but when I did one in the past I didn’t see any benefits.

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Two book recommendations:

  1. The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, by Oliver Burkeman
  2. Bright-Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich

Both are funny and insightful, and both skewer the notion that happiness lies in relentless positivity. I loved them, because I am sad by nature, and trying to change that about myself has only resulted in frustration and disappointment. Sometimes life sucks, sometimes we complain about it, sometimes things are unfair, sometimes failure is inevitable, but hey, it’s all good.

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[quote=“Wesley_Clark, post:8, topic:789073”]

I thought about doing a gratitude journal but when I did one in the past I didn’t see any benefits.

[QUOTE]

I tried it for a while, but I found a system I liked better. I have a phone app called Mindfulness Bell that chimes at random intervals. When it chimes, I take stock of where I’m at, what I’m doing, how I feel, and I jot down a one-line observation. I’ve gotten a lot of insight from this. Choice observations:

“Naps don’t make me less tired.”

“When I don’t have a plan, nothing gets done.”

“Caffeine will always, always, always come back to bite me in the ass.”

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Check with me in a day or two. Today is for destroying my health in the most extravagent and annoying manner.

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I’ve taken to exercising in the mornings and have modified my diet. The end result is that I can now see (just about) my abs for the first time since I was 20! I’ve still got a way to go to get that ripped look, but it’s a definite improvement. As it happens, I’m one of those people who loses weight very easily but finds it damn near impossible to put on muscle, so the real test (ie. bulking up) is yet to come.

I’ve also made big strides in my quest to learn to get into computer programming in some form. I’ve gone from knowing absolutely nothing whatsoever about programming, to being beginner/intermediate in Python, and my HTML and CSS study is coming along really well, too.

I’ve also taken up the guitar again after a long break, and I’m working my way through as many Bach pieces as possible. I’ve got Jesu Joy of Heart’s Desiring down pat and I’m working on Bourree in E minor, though I fear my hands are too small for me to ever really get it :slight_smile:

My goals this year are to (a) get a programming job by the end of the year, (b) get in shape and put on a minimum 5lbs of muscle, and (c) pass a few guitar exams. I also want to do something to get my panic attacks under control. Unfortunately that last goal is…ambitious, to say the least. Very little progress on that score. Any tips others might have would be warmly appreciated!

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All excellent goals. Look into exposure therapy. The key to coping with panic is learning that it’s not a sign of danger and getting used to tolerating the feeling. One of my therapists taught me this mantra, “Discomfort, not danger.” The less afraid you are of panic attacks, the fewer you’ll have.

I also have a goal to finish revising my novel and get it to an agent. I’m two thirds done with the revision but it’s like pulling teeth.

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Oh, and Ativan is lovely in a pinch.

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The sad part about this is I’ve already read one of them.

Bright-Sided is one of the best books I’ve ever read, and in my opinion Barbara Ehrenreich ranks right up there with Bill Bryson in the category of authors whose books I will buy without bothering to read a page or two first. Not many in that club.

I will begin searching for The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman immediately though, thank you.

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I like this thread idea.

I recently quit my job at a company I have worked at for six and a half years. My last day was Monday, and I started my new job on Tuesday. I don’t want to spew out too many emotions in this post (I have my journal for that), so I’ll just say it’s a hard adjustment. I had been working from home four days a week, which not only meant zero commute time, but also that if I was light on work, I could wander off and do something useful or fun around the house. Now I’m in an office every day, and the commute is pretty bad. (For those of you who know the DC area, it’s in Tysons, and I live 25 miles outside of Tysons.)

On my way in to work this morning, a recruiter called me asking if I would be interested in a job much closer to my home. And when he asked me, I suddenly started thinking about everything I liked about the job (essentially, everything except the commute).

I feel like there’s a lesson in that incident, though I’m not entirely sure what. I just find it funny how I appreciate what I have more once I seriously consider leaving it behind.

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I’ve got to get off caffeine this week. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I get addicted quickly then keep using it to stave off the headaches and fatigue. I needed it the weekend before last because it was the last week of the quarter and I was swamped with work. So I’m in for three days of misery this week.

I could eat better and exercise more, but I’ve been pretty pleased with myself since returning to college last fall. I have a 4.0 average. I hope to keep it all the way through.

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The bone-on-bone pain in my right shoulder is such that I require massive opioids to use it aggressively (lift over head, pull heavy loads, sawing, hammering).

My exercise has been fixing up a very depressed house - the one I live in.

I’ve gotten the ceiling painted through out, all but two rooms painted, the dog pen fence in the front yard was cut off at the concrete base. Bars on doors and windows removed. Swimming pool equipment (pump and filter) replaced; self-cleaner installed.

I was able to do this because of massive doses of morphine prescribed by my loving PCP.

The morphine destroyed the little kidney function I had left. Four days unconscious with a catheter.
No more massive opioids/opiates.
Right arm severely atrophied, unable to do anything resembling work.

So the Physical Medicine guy came up with a “rubber band” that I CAN use. It shows promise.

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A few years (?! time moves too quickly) ago I became disabled. As a consequence of that I have become largely house bound, stopped cooking, stopped doing almost everything. I also gained 90 lbs while doctors tried a series of meds like steroids that piled on the pounds at a point where I could not actively exercise.

My improvement journey is two fold: what physical improvements can I make to my health within my new constraints, and what intellectual challenge can I find for myself now that I cannot work?

On the physical front, I have managed to lose about 45 pounds so far. That’s better than I realized actually. I’m giving myself a pat for that. (Pat) My disability has some constraints that I need to work with, but within those the next step on my improvement journey here is adding more physical exercise. We’ll see how it goes.

On the brain side, I’m thinking I may try and write a book. I did a lot of writing until the kiddos came along. I’m thinking I’ll try picking it up again as a way of not being a house bound lump, mentally.

I forgot one other area. I need to also work on the social arena. This one will be harder. I’m in pain a lot and I do spend a lot of time huddled in the dark. I need to work on ways of connecting more positively with others. I think my first goal here will be more positive connections with my family. My disability has been hard on them. I need to start engaging more often and stop letting pain prevent me from spending time with them. My kids won’t be home with me forever.

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My cyst which wasn’t really a cyst has gone down; I think there will be minimal scarring. I started using a different tool at work so I don’t keep banging that part of my hand repeatedly. The results ate promising.