Forgetting that sperfur’s a girl
Is making my head start to twirl
If I do it again
She’ll see to my end
And kick my ass off of the world.
When kicking Q.E.D.'s ass off the world
You must have your leg properly curled
A straight leg won’t do
Watch that follow-through!
And make sure your foot is unfurled
While Lobsang practices his rants
I’m laughing so hard I’m peeing my pants
This thread is so funny
I’d almost pay money
To read more of these guys and their dance
I’m trying to think of a way
To applaud that sperfur’s OK
Her poems are so silly
And she’ll post willy-nilly
I could sit here reading all day!
Here’s one for the "a’ thread:
It was just a mistake by Klaatu
but a concept entirely new
siezed control of the thread
now the hamsters are dead
and the inmates are running the zoo!
There once was a SPOOFE in a thread
Who couldn’t think of what should be said
So he became quite entranced
With saying “Underpants”
When nothing else would do in its stead
There once was a newbie named sperfur
Whose limericks everyone fought for.
With a razor sharp wit
And the speed of the 'net
She delighted many a Doper.
sperfur’s rhyming aplomb should win trophies
But not her use of apostrophies.
They shouldn’t appear
In plurals, my dear.
As a proofreader, I’d pay you quite low fees.
On a clear and beautiful day
You can see from miles away
The steam plume aglow
From the cooling towers below
At the nuke plant in Limerick, PA.
I just had to contribute this one. 
Have you people ever been to Limerick? Tis a festering hole full of trolls.
Oh, different Limerick…
Limerick’s known as “stab city”,
And the reason is not very pretty:
'Tis a festering hole
Chock-full of trolls
Who stick knives in each other. How shitty.
OMG, I misused an apostrophe!
jjimm is planning to shoot me!
While he gets out his gun
I plead just having fun
And say I was just testing you, see? :smack:
I don’t think he wanted to shoot you
Punctuation made him dispute you
Next time get it right
And you won’t have a fight
Your poems will be better, to boot, oooh!
If I were a mod I’d have banned 'em
For apostrophies scattered at random,
But relax, no harm done,
And I don’t own a gun.
As explained: quod erat demonstrandum.
I’m addicted to posting to ‘a’
It makes me feel fuzzy and gay
I can read posts by Kat
Whose’s a’s lead posting brat 
And going there makes my day!
This apparent “a” thread monomania
is a new form of rare schizophrenia
but with help from the gods
we’ll keep posting till mods
sink the thing like the ole Lusitania.
Happy Birthday Morley Safer
A newsman they call Morley Safer
Is from land of canuck, like Paul Shaffer
Now he’s wrinkled and craggy
His gonads are saggy
His hair is as thin as a wafer
In Canada Morley began
Writing stories his newspaper ran
Then he changed his address
When he joined CBS
And they sent him to South Viet Nam
After that they assigned him to Britain
Where many more stories got written
Where that prick Jack the Ripper
Killed hooker and stripper
And many a throat he was slittin’
He came back to the States 3 years later
Met his wife, and he started to date ‘er
Pretty soon they were hitched
Morley’s life was enriched
When he probed her below the equator
He’s been on 60 Minutes for years
Now retirement patently nears
They have begged him to go
But he’s needing the dough
And he likes hanging out with his peers
Now Morley has turned 81
And it seems that he’s still having fun
Doing work he adores
During peacetime and wars
When he’s gone we will miss him a ton
Happy Birthday Sally Field
There’s an actress we call Sally Field
Many virtues and flaws she’s revealed
In the roles she has played
Now her hair is all grayed
And her arteries partly congealed
As Gidget she starred on TV
In the role of the late Sandra Dee
She was perky and cute
And she gained some repute
As a gal who was footloose and free
Sally then played a nun who could fly
Though we still haven’t figured out why
But it lasted 3 years
Through the gibes and the jeers
Then she found bigger fishes to fry
In the movies her roles were more various
From funny to sad to nefarious
Norma Rae brought her fame
And much savored acclaim
And in Punch Line her act was hilarious
Now in Lincoln she plays Mary Todd
Who was kind of a chubby old broad
Whose husband got dead
Due to shots in the head
From a singleton firing squad
Now Sally has turned 66
And she’s still making quality flicks
And she still looks angelic
Although she’s a relic
Too old to be out turning tricks
So limerick is a place or a thing
Of this I can really sing
I can’t get it out of my head
this kind of crazy dread
OH what will the madness bring ?