The Long-Awaited Panty Rebellion Must Begin with Us

Ok–I’ve been reading over the recent glut of undergarment-related threads lately and I have a question I am hoping you all can answer for me…

Why in the hell do you need to wear underwear in the first place?

[sub]Now, before all my fellow females jump all over me I will grant that at certain times of the month, panties are a must. That is not the issue here.[/sub]

Here are my reasons why, if I can’t go commando, I’d rather go home.

*Panties are expensive.
*They creep into places they have most certainly NOT been invited.
*They itch.
*They mean you have to do your laundry a good week or two earlier than you would otherwise.
*All the cutesy little bows and lace become pretty fucking depressing super-quick when you get home from your date/appointment/drunken night at the bar, stare at an empty bed, and realize the chances of someone actually caring what your skivvies look like are slim to none.
*They inevitably end up being carried out of your room by your dog when you have company over.
*They disrupt the perfectly lovely line of ass to thigh that the female form has been blessed with (And don’t get me started on thongs. If I wanted to floss my ass, I’d buy some ass-floss, thank you ever so much).
*They either shrink–making you paranoid that you’re getting fat, or stretch–making you paranoid that you’re getting fatter.
*They get lost.
*They get you busted (see above).
*They poke out of your waistband, inspiring strangers to dedicate pit rants to your fashion ineptitude.
*Did I mention that they creep?
In conclusion, panties suck. Unless the skirt’s super-short, or the yourgettingsometonight meter is off the scale, why bother? Rise up! Throw your panties into the street and join me in a dance of frenzied abandon! FREEEEEDOOOM!

or, er–just explain the attraction, if you could. I’m mystified.

bella–sitting here with nothing between her ass and chair but a nice black skirt–the way that god intended

In the summer, under a long, flowy-yet-clingy sundress, I am SO WITH YOU! It’s cooler, comfier, and you take full advantage of summer breezes.

In any season, under a corporate bitch suit, I am SO WITH YOU! You can sit in a boring staff meeting and smile to yourself “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

However, trousers you just need them. A comfy soft piece of cotton does wonders for keeping chafy seams out of your hoo-ha.

belladonna, have I told you lately that I love you?

If you didn’t live three thousand miles away from me, there’d definitely be someone who was interested in what your skivvies looked like!

You go girl! I (and many others of my gender) see no reason why you should imprison yourself in these cruel garments (especially while wearing skirts on windy days). Discard them we say. Toss them and let freedom ring!

I have a new hero and her name is belladonna.

I’m a lot closer (Louisville, KY), and I care.

So, belladonna, how you doin’? Wanna go out? :slight_smile:

I’m with the seams out of the hoo-ha crowd (okay, I just wanted to say “hoo-ha”). Besides, I often wear my jeans more than one day, and I wouldn’t want to do that if I hadn’t worn underwear the time before. Besides, I don’t know about you, but I get, um, emissions at any time of the month. Nothing that the underpants can’t absorb, but I wouldn’t like to have a damp patch on the back of my skirt when I stand up from reading a sexy story or talking to the hot teacher at my kids’ school.

Apparently, I have forgotten to add the most important reason ever to my little anti-panty list…

*It drives the boys wild.

Less than 10 minutes, and Ferrous loves me, I’ve become Why A Duck’s hero, and Superdude’s coming up to show me how much he cares.

I love being a liberated woman.


[sub]magdalene–you said hoo-ha! “hoo hoo ho ho hoo ha” (sing the preceding to the tune of Lola, please) I think you’re my new hero. :smiley:

Note to Big Duck from Little Duck:

While at work and still several hours away from anything resembling nookie, you probably shouldn’t be reading threads about women not wearing panties, contraception methods, how-long-has-it-been-since, etc.

It is cruel and unusual punishment.

Yeah? Check your mail. :slight_smile:

Anybody else around here a fan of the old ODD BODKINS comic strip by Dan O’Neill?

Well, I can’t read “hoo-ha”…our latest hot euphemism for girl bits…without thinking about Fred and Hugh and Norton and General Injuns and Mister Spanky and Five-Dollar Bill O’Brady and the Great Hoo-Hoo In The Sky (their euphemism for the Almighty) and the Lesser Hoo-Hoo, who lives in a tree and grants secret wishes.
That’s all. I just wanted to say that.

Thank you.

I do not like them on my ass.
I do not like them in my class.
I do not like them below my shirt.
Not on my legs. Not under skirt.
I do not like them Sam I Am.
I do not like them on my can.

   I am so glad that I'm not the only one who sees these things as stupid. I mean, you don't wrap something up unless you're giving it as a gift. And besides, years ago women wouldn't be caught dead without petticoats and corsets and bustles. Kinda makes panties look archaic when you look along those lines.

Go, bella!

Freedom for the Hoo-Ha!

I prefer commando too but I do like to wear thongs occassionally because they’re comfy and sexy. They have to match my bra though.

I used to have a pair of daisy dukes that I “modified” if you will. There was a hole in the ass from crack to outer cheek and another small hole on the other cheek. I used to wear these to the bar and boy, did they ever attract attention. (this was during my bar slut days) It was pretty obvious that there’s no way in hell I could wear panties with those things… not even a thong or g-string. This was 8-9 years ago mind you… I wouldn’t be caught dead in them now.

I love my white, cotton panties. I don’t blame you for hating panties if you wear lacy ones, or nylon ones. I wouldn’t wear 'em, either.

If you’re wearing panty hose, you have a nice little cotton patch that eliminates your need to wear panties, so why wear them? It’s just going to give you panty lines, anyway.

Just don’t try to take away my panties.

Don’t fuck around with Mister Spanky, suspect.

Mister Spanky has personally tasted the thumb of every pinko 5th columnist wingydingy in the USA.

EVERY MAN, regardless of race, creed, or color, has the RIGHT to be SUSPECTED.
…you ever been in CLEVELAND, suspect?

We are so stopping by Lexington for DopeToYourDoor!

signed, your friendly mobile dope navigator.

belladonna, have I told you that I love you? Panties, under most circumstances, are bad. I will admit, though, I do enjoy seeing a woman wearing sexy underwear, but unless that’s all she’s going to wear, off with the panties!

Same goes for me! I wear jeans almost exclusively, but even when I’m at home in a ratty housecoat or a baggy, oversized t-shirt, I want my delicate bits covered. Partly to protect me from wet dog noses, partly to taunt my spouse, mostly because it’s much more comfy for me.
I may go wild on occasion and wear fuschia or teal panties, but that’s the extent of it.

If I go to Cleveland, do you promise Mister Spanky will taste my thumb? I’m a pinko from way back and I’m wearing clean panties.

[sub]Lord, I’m just going to keep getting sillier all day. I can tell already.[/sub]

Yeah? Check your own, soldier. :wink:

Cherry_Blossom_–you are going on my list of beloved dopers who’ve beautified my threads–thank you!

bluethree and FairyChatMom—bah! a pox on ALL panties, I said. ALL of them, do you hear me? And why White ones only huh? You guys workin’ for The Man or what? Yeah, I got you pegged. Damn panty bigots :smiley:

–bella–adding bouv’s name to my list o’ lovers before he gets a load of Rachelle’s ass in that thong and forgets all about me.