The Long Goodbye - Mom is Dying

[GusNSpot]

Broomstick can’t get here right now and asked that this be posted for her.

Mom’s time is growing shorter. She has so wasted away that if I make a circle of my thumb and forefinger it’s almost enough to go around her thigh. She can no longer turn over without assistance. She no longer eats. She takes only a few sips of water a day.

Dad is torn between not wanting her to die, and even less wanting to see her suffer. He was initially hostile towards hospice, but now he is a big believer in it. It is so much more humane for the patient and even the family than a hospital is. Mom is in her own home, with her own family, and her needs and wants set the schedule, not someone else.

Mom seldom speaks coherently anymore. There is little left to do for her other than to hold her hand, and talk to her when she is awake. It is both frightening and humbling to hold the hand of a dying loved one and know that this is the last and one of the most improtant gifts you can give another human being.

I know medications can be abused and cause great destruction, but here and now the opium poppy is a great and wonderful gift. The morphine takes mom’s pain away, she only needs a little bit. We have something for her anxiety and fear as well. These are not to drug her into stupor (though yes, they do make her sleep even more than she would otherwise) but take the fear and pain away so when she is awake it does not distract her and she can look at us and squeeze our hands when we take one of hers.

My sister the doctor says perhaps three days, but with her heart problems it may well be less. Any time now, really. When she dies we make one phone call and the formalities will be taken care of by the hospice so we will not be burdened with them at that time. We will be with each other, and there will be volunteers and counselors for us should we feel the need for them. Not only will mom be taken care of, but we will be, too.

[criminey.jicket]

I’m so sorry. I’ve lost my own mom to cancer. Her slow fading away was more difficult than losing my dad to a sudden heart attack.

You and your family are in my thoughts.
ETA: Thank you GusNSpot for the update.

[Moirai]

Thanks, Gus- you’re a mensch.

Oh my dear, please take care.

[Cub_Mistress]

You and your family are in my prayers.

[Moirai]

Broomstick posted this today-

Mom died 8:30 pm Eastern

[Archergal]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[freckafree]

My condolences, Broomstick and family. You have my heartfelt wishes for comfort and healing.

[carnivorousplant]

Speaking from personal experience, it will be ok. It will take a long time, but it will be ok.

[Taters]

Broomstick, I’m so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

[janis_and_c0]

My Condolences. I hope her passing was peaceful.

[Khadaji]

Broomstick, may whatever gods there be, be with you and your family during this difficult time. You are in my thoughts.

[Harmonious_Discord]

You have my condolences also.

[Shirley_Ujest]

My condolences to you and your family.

[scareyfaerie]

I’m sorry for your loss, I hope you and your famly are bearing up well.

[Cub_Mistress]

I’m very sorry for your loss.

[GusNSpot]

RIP

Be well Broomstick.

[The_Composer]

Sorry for your loss, Broomstick.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Broomstick, I’m sorry for you troubles.

[gigi]

I’m so sorry. I’m happy she knew you were there and could feel you holding her hand, but I can’t imagine the pain of losing a mom you loved.

Peace to you and your family.

[criminey.jicket]

I’m so sorry for your loss, Broomstick. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.