First off, this thread is soliciting for jokes. I don’t want any body to take it too seriously, but I’m putting it in the pit just in case somebody does. Nobody is above being the butt of a joke. Canadians, French, English, Japanese, whatever, this is your chance to tell your jokes about America. Just know that I’m gonna be trading barbs back. In the interest of fair play I’ll start with a joke making fun of Americans:
What do you call someone who speaks three languages? “Multilingual”.
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? “Bilingual”.
What do you call someone who speaks one language? “An American”.
Now France:
Q: What do you call someone in France taking a bath?
A: A tourist
England:
Q: Why don’t the British make computers?
A: They couldn’t figure out how to make 'em leak oil.
(yeah, I know. It’s old and hackneed, but just go ahead and test me. The Prince of Wales just married a barnyard animal. I’m going easy on ya. I was easy on the frogs too.)
Canada:
You only know the French equivalents of “free”, “prize” and “no sugar added” thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
Japanese:
Ask your dear mother
Who’s Hello Kitty’s daddy
Kitty done doggy
International relations are just like interpersonal relations - It’s better when neither side takes itself too seriously. In the further interest of fair play, here’s an another one about Americans:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in 0 gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
So… Bring 'em. Let’s have a good natured free for all.