My dad made me notice this yesterday.
Why he was staring at this statue’s manly parts is beyond me.
My mother claims that they’re grapes.
My dad took that as an insult.
But truly, he does seem to have four testicles. (the angel, not my dad)
And I take the confused look on his face to be proof of that fact.
Mnementh, always guarding his mistress’ side, offers to advances toward the statue, preparing to smash that which offends his charge.
So that’s where they ended up.
Listen, I really need them. Could you please send them to me FedEx? I’ll reimburse you for the shipping costs.
One more thing … Please, please, PLEASE mark the box “Fragile”
Thanks,
Sua
P.S. Mnementh, STAY AWAY from them!
Okay, I’m going to be MsObviousComment for a moment here - post a picture, I have to see this.
Are you sure it’s an angel and not a cherub? Most of the angels statues I have seen are a fully-clothed adult. Cherubs are usually nekkid little boys.
Well, if it’s a marble angel, then technically, they’re not testicles, they’re aggies. Or even more accurately, shooters ( http://glassmarbles.com/book.htm ).
This is all very complicated. Thanks Mnementh for your assistance. My dad pointed out that my other garden angel has a missing arm… and explained that it was because he tried to check to see if the 4 testicles of the other one were fakes…
It’s actually very troubling.
Sua, if they’re yours, they’re aweful small.
I’ll try to see if I can borrow a digital camera and snap a few pictures.
I’m now officially haunted by quadrotesticular winged pre-pubescent cherub-type-winged things in my backyard.
Maybe they’re Frog Balls. After all, it is Frog Ball Day.
Ginger, you’re scaring me.
Stop it.
I’m gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life.
I just realized said angel is also dickless. Four testicles, but dickless. Who was the sick guy who came up with that?
I was just about to post something about that Ginger. It’s a Frog Ball Day Miracle! Soon, men from all over will make the pilgramage to your garden angel to worship the testicles!
BTW - as for the grape theory, I’ll just say that I’m no angel or cherub, but even if I was I doubt I would store foodstuffs by my nads.
are you sure the angel wasn’t accosted by the (teasing) iron funiture? perhaps just swelling from a bruise?
on a some what serious suggestion, could they be curlicues from the hand of a challenged sculptor?
Hmm… now there’s an idea. Maybe I can start a sideshow.
“Ladies and gentlemen… to your left… the world famous quadritesticular dickless stone angel… to your right, the famous one-armed marble angel who laughed at him…”
What should I charge as an entrace fee? Should I commission an artist to make my poor dickless (but four-balled) angel a new… member? If so, would gawd (!) be offended? And should I care?
As for storing foodstuffs next to one’s nads - speaking as someone who doesn’t have nads - I’d be really concerned about my resident backyard squirrel and its tendency to gnaw at anything at its nose-height. Not to mention that I’ve caught one of my dogs baptizing said angel in his early morning urinal-confessions…
Elly
Well I was having feelings of inadequacy until you mentioned the angel’s lack of manhood…now I feel much better…two plus one is better then four sometimes 
Mnementh, no smashing anything untill I get Elenfair wrapped in bubble wrap. (Just doin’ mah job, Ma’am. Cain’t be too carefull.)
-Rue.
Thank you, Rue.
Just make sure I can breathe under there, ok? And I may well ask for extra foam padding, because with my luck, I’m going to choke on the bubble wrap…
What, I’m the only one who has ever heard of Quadrotesticulitis ??? Where the hell do you people spend your spare time? THE INTERNET? Try reading the American Journal of Genitalia once in a while, for god’s sake. Learn a little. I swear to god… :rolleyes:
Cartooniverse
Four bits.
You looked close enough to see he had four testicles but didn’t notice his lack of pee-pee?
A statue near me has 3 testicles. I don’t know what it’s called but we’ve dubbed him Tri-Nads.
Well, in my defence, I thought his lack of penis was due to careful placement of a vine leaf… but when I did check, it was mysteriously absent (the dick, not the leaf)
As for charging four bits, that sounds like a plan…
I’m still very traumatized by all this - my mother still claims they are grapes, and my dad is getting all worried about what she thinks of him. He claims now to have an inferiority complex because of my quadrotesticular angel.
I may want to publish my finding in Nature, and in the Canadian Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion.
Yeah.
Bubble wrap and a snorkle. Check. And you don’t need any foam padding. You are already the feminine ideal.
-Rue.