But would you be able to remain in your seat for the duration?
A Craigslist ad has appeared in the Boston area asking people to attend a Melania showing in “any Boston area theatre” during the opening weekend of the film. Those who do will receive a free ticket, as well as $50 per seat occupied. The ad also specifies that people “must remain in seats” for the entirety of the movie. Whether or not the ad is real or some sort of attempt at trolling is unknown, but reports of the film’s lack of interest at the box office have been discussed for some time this past week.
Now that has great potential! That, I definitely would pay to watch! In fact, Melania might just be the best subject of MST3K mockery that was ever made! And if I had the opportunity, it’s a project to which I’d happily volunteer my time and what remains of my feeble humourous talents.
We had an incredible response to this offer and were excited to provide true American Patriots the opportunity to attend the best documentary ever created while providing some much-needed relief for Biden’s economy.
However, due to widespread coverage and backlash surrounding this offer in the fake news media, counsel has advised us that proceeding would run afoul of campaign finance laws. Considering the funding of the film by Amazon, we were shocked to hear this, but cannot take the risk.
Therefore, we are unable to move forward. As usual, this is the fault of the lunatic left and their corrupt election laws. They HATE America and will do anything to destroy this country.
On the bright side, this incredible film is now SOLD OUT everywhere, with box office success like no one has EVER seen.
Of course they can’t even be bothered to write it realistically. It HAS to be sold out and get a Standing O.
OTOH have you seen how small some “town center” multiplex rooms are these days? Not that hard to fill with a sponsored showing by, say, a class of College Republicans.
Probably was the plan anyway, just draw attention then announce you’re backing down due to too much demand and because your lawyers harrumphed.
Two points to add to the discussion (and someone really needs to bite the bullet and see it, to stop it being an angels dancing on pinheads commentary):
We need a word other than ‘documentary’ to describe this and similar films like the Beckhams and other self-funded, self-produced, self-starring vanity vehicles that emerge from time to time. No documentary is completely factual or objective, and choices are made in stories to tell, what to screen and narrative threads to pursue and with what outcome, but from legitimate documentary makers there is a basic level of factual representation that they must meet. Maybe Melania hits it, but given all of the ways that she intersects with what is really a major historical crisis in American democracy, even in the month leading to inauguration, surely place-settings and hats is not the story to be telling. Unless the story is that she is as completely irrelevant to that marriage and partnership as some argue.
The other point is that this has become a version of the Producers (the stellar Mel Brooks film) plot. Bezos wanted a way to move a big chunk of money so that it was legally uncontestable, and do it transparently rather than covertly. In the Producers it was Max Bialystock shilling the usual small-scale investors into putting money into a flop which becomes a write-off. There is nothing different in this, except that Bezos can seduce himself, not some lonely heiress for the money. And as a rosy take on emerging fascism and brutality …
Yes, thankyou, there’s always hagiography, but I’m holding out for a snappier word we can use in movie reviews, and hopefully shorten in conversation, like ‘we saw this rather poor doco’. I’d so much hate to cause offence by saying ‘we saw this horrific hag’.
I really want to see this just to gawk at it (by buying tickets for something else and sneaking in, natch), but I can’t find anyone willing to gawk with me and I’m not gonna go alone. I may watch it once it’s available via… alternate sources.
I was very surprised to see that Brett Ratner directed this, mostly because he’s a fairly successful director and I completely forgot that he was blacklisted from Hollywood during the #metoo movement because he’s a rapist. It makes perfect sense, then, that the Trumps would have welcomed him with open arms.
You have to wonder how many filmmakers they had to cycle through before finding one desperate enough to prostitute himself for this piece of crap. Hollywood is not exactly enamoured of MAGA. They must have needed to dig deep into the depths.
The only way I would watch it would be if I knew that somewhere in the movie she utters the phrase “moose and squirrel” and even then I’d only watch that clip on YouTube.
