Another review: “If syphilis was a movie….”
Is it true that $28 million of the $40 million budget was “licensing fees” paid to the Trumps?
And here he is in the latest dump of Epstein files:
“Come on, that could be any Brett Ratner!”
I reckon we will kidnap Kim Jong Un next.
In the form of a production fee to Melania. Totally above board. And to quote The Producers, in the early scene where Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) works out that Bialystock’s failed play actually made him a few thousand bucks.
- – -
BLOOM
See? You could have raised a million dollars, put on a sixty thousand dollar flop and kept the rest.
BIALYSTOCK
But what if the play was a hit?
BLOOM
Oh, you’d go to jail. If the play were a hit, you’d have to pay off the backers, and with so many backers there could never be enough profits to go around, get it?
BIALYSTOCK
Aha, aha, aha, aha, aha, aha!! So, in order for the scheme to work, we’d have to find a sure fire flop.
BLOOM
What scheme?
BIALYSTOCK
What scheme? Your scheme, you bloody little genius.
–-
I checked out the movie on IMDB and there’s loads of 1 star reviews and also a handful of 10 star reviews. Those 10 star reviews are wild. Stuff like “Great First Lady Ever” and “the whole theater cheered at the end.”
I was surprised to see that the movie is just about the 20 days leading up the inauguration. Just following Melania around as she prepares to be First Lady again.
I’d have thought it was about her actual life, how she came to America and stuff. Nope - just 20 days.
Wait until you see Melania the Musical.
A quote on Discord I ran across:
Here’s a line from Sophie Gilbert’s review of the Melania movie.
“Melania shows off her custom-made inauguration gown, stark white with black ribbons overlaying it, a dress that now looks unavoidably like the redacted Epstein files.”
The Guardian’s take:
I’m not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch and proffered like a medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne.
Youch.
No he’ll secretly love it. He’s competitive and unkind. It will affirm to him that he’s more popular and important than Melania.
He would have been inwardly enraged if “Melania” was a smash. Although he would probably have consoled himself by saying it was because he was in it.
Another one, from a friend:
“Having to watch this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in a theater.” – Abraham Lincoln
And the sequel, Melania: Here We Go Again.
If she gets an Oscar rather than him it will be very unfair.
Earlier today, I was thinking of what to do on a free Saturday night:
A) Drive to a treater and watch a craptastic, self-serving piece of propaganda, or…
B) Shoving a pair of meat thermometers into my ears and slamming my hand in the front door.
Well, now I can’t hear anything, and can’t type for crap.
Tripler
At least I have my pride.
At the 2 Seattle theaters nearest me where it’s playing, starting in 10 minutes, only 4 seats have been sold. Actually those are the only 2 theaters within Seattle showing it.
If Melania gets an Oscar and a Nobel Peace Prize for her contributions to something or other, it will be even more unfair!
There has to be a way that Melania can be enticed to say “is Moose and Squirrel”!
Trump operatives buying up seats apparently can’t be everywhere at once. They just can’t keep up!
She’d probably prefer to deep-six any examination of that, and with good reason.
If I wanted to watch a movie about a hooker who fucks and then marries a Russian asset for money, I could watch “Anora” again.
Also know as Moose Murders II