Once upon a time a beautiful, innocent young woman was sitting around reading Triumph of the Straight Dope when she noticed some odd looking little blurbs that weren’t in the past Straight Dope books. “Why these are quite amusing,” she observed. “It seems that Unca Cece must have a message board. I must go have a look for myself.”
8 months and 500 posts later she is now submitting her application for “evil reg”.
I’m ready -
Hand me the test
Show me the secret handshake
Email me the password
But, while we’re here, let’s PARTY
The obligatory keg and snacks are to the left. The hot tub is to the right.
I tend to avoid these social gatherings so I’ll just say congratulations and grab a couple of petit-fours and be on my way.
Wait! Did you say hot tubs?
[Thinking furiously] "What would Mrs. Pluto say? How would she ever know? It isn’t like I’d actually be doing anything – it’s all cyberspace. You know, cyber hot tubs, cyber bubbles, cyber bikinis, cyber brea…[/Thinking]
“No, dear, I’m not doing anything I shouldn’t on the computer. I’m just checking my bank balance. I don’t even know how to find any porn sites! There are no hot tubs at my bank. Okay, it’s not the bank. It’s the Straight Dope – but just the General Questions part, not that stupid place with all the parties and sex questions. Hey do you know who wrote ‘Porgy and Bess’? No, I think it was Dubose Heyward. How do you spell masseuse? No reason, I just wanna know. No, don’t come in here!!”
Sorry, I really gotta go. I, um, have an appointment. Thanks for the cakes!
Well, I WAS going to post my usual “congrats-Kid”, but being as you have so many people I really like here, I believe I’ll hang around a bit longer. Ohh, Purplebear…
5,000! It took me 8 months to get to 500 - I’ll NEVER see 5,000
Thank you all very much for coming. I have a bit of an announcement. Due to a miscommuncation with the beer distributor, it seems that they have filled the hot tub with ale. I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused anyone.
