the morse key

I work for a big company that makes calculators, and I’m part of the tech support team for fixing user problems with the calculators. So I get this call from this old lady who asks me how to put morse code in her granddaughter’s graphing calculator. A little confused, I say that none of our calculators have that capability. “But I’m looking at the key right here! It has a dot-dash-dot, and I just want to know how to use the damn thing!” It took me a few seconds to figure out she was talking about the division key.
A brief fit of pounding my head into my cubicle desk soon followed.


You might wanna check out this link for more of this stuff:

It’s called Computer Stupidities.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Coldfire, that link is great. My co-workers and I laughed so hard a person from another department stuck his head in our door to see what was so funny.

We create websites and CD-ROMs, and we have LOTS of customers who ask really ignorant (sometimes flat-out stupid) questions, but I pity the people in tech support!

My favorite exchange (between me and one of our salespeople:

Me: For us to make a PDF, they’ll need to give us their Quark files. Do you know how many Quark files they have?

Salesperson: 20 megabytes.

Me: Okay, but do you know how many actual files there are?

Salesperson: What’s a file? Just so I know.