My whole entire long life, the only birthday cake I ever had anywhere (including my own) was ‘corporate cake’. Why? Because it was right there in the grocery store, it could have the birthday persons name put on it within 2 minutes, it looked nice, and was inoffensive to everyone. And cheap. It was also cheap. Meh. About as fun as a dollar store card and a bottle of Bath & Body Works stink juice. Another year gone by. Happy Barfday.
A strong dislike of layers, maybe? Custardphobia?
I actually prefer it juicy not emulsified, but otherwise mine ticks your other three boxes.
Our office cakes are very competitive, so “corporate cake” is rare, usually only from the single male recent graduates who still live in digs. I tend to make two Nigella Lawson ones every year, chocolate Guinness cake and Nutella cake. The latter is good because it’s flourless.
I never heard of “corporate cakes”. Everyone seems to know the term. Wow. Is it a new thing?
This is the first time I’ve ever heard the term, but I’m quite familiar with the thing itself, and the term seems apt for it.
I’ve never heard the term, but assume they are personalized sheet cakes from a grocery store.
When I was a kid reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I thought Turkish Delight must be the most delicious confection on the planet. When I had the opportunity to try it, I came to appreciate the sort of wartime deprivation the characters were laboring under.
First time I heard it was upthread when @puzzlegal described it so.
But it’s a great term I feel, in that it describes a category of cake that didn’t really have its own term until then- those inexpensive cakes made in grocery stores and discount clubs that are just passable at best. Not so bad that people are revolted, but not so good that anyone actually takes it home or asks where it came from, etc. Just sort of… adequate.
I think the term corporate cake was coined right here…was it @puzzlegal ?
★
Tea cakes, I happen to like them but it’s funny to watch someone get one, unawares, thinking it’s a sugar cookie.
Yeah, my kids read TLTWaTW a few years back, and we hunted down Turkish Delight at an Austin Mediterranean bakery (Phoenicia Bakery and Deli) that makes their own.
While most everything else from there is fantastic, the Turkish Delight (lokum)was underwhelming to my kids to say the least. I recall there being an “Edmund did all that bad stuff for THIS?” comment at one point.
Yeah, crumbly is an odd adjective for NY Cheesecake. It’s dense and creamy, not crumbly. If it’s crumbly, it’s wrong. It’s good stuff, but only very occasionally as a little goes a long way.
I’ve been there. I mean, literally - same café (probably), same cake, same reaction. I also was not impressed by Viennese apple strudels, which seemed to consist of a big hunk of filling wrapped by paper-thin pastry. Now, I understand that the thinness of the dough was supposed to be a mark of the baker’s skill, but I like strudel dough, and I like how it flakes and mixes with the filling. This was like eating compote.
In short, Vienna: lovely city, lovely people, lousy desserts.
Totally agreed. That said, I think majority of times I’ve had it at restaurants, it has been over baked. Restaurants that get their desserts shipped in on a frozen food truck are pretty common, and those cheesecakes are no good.
My favorite thing to do is to make that recipe I linked to above, with a ginger snap crust and a tart fruit topping like a cranberry, slice it into 24 slices, and freeze them. They can last my wife and me a month, and when the slices are just barely frozen, they are sublime.
We had a Turkish restaurant run by a really cool family from Turkey. The tea and Turkish Delight were the pièce de résistance of the evening. Sadly, they are no more (fuck you COVID).
I’m a big fat lady with one heck of a sweet tooth and I totally agree with everyone who is saying beautiful cakes and desserts are soooo disappointing!
I absolutely can’t stand whipped cream frosting. My local grocery store makes beautiful cakes with buttercream and with whipped cream frosting but they don’t mention which is which on the tag!
One time for my birthday I went to the grocery store and got me a beautiful slice of cake with several rainbow layers. I studied the tag to see if I could figure out the type of frosting. I couldn’t. Got it home and sat down for my birthday dinner for one and UGH, whipped! Tasted like Crisco. I gave it to the dogs.
I’d be good with either juicy or emulsified, and with or without seeds. Did i mention that i love berries.
As far as i know, i coined the term. But i described it when i did so, and expected most readers to be familiar with the entity.
Your kids are far from alone:
The irony is that Turkey - home of the baklava - has so many other desserts that actually ARE delightful.
Indeed. We ate fantastically in Turkey.
Thanks for this… Guess I am going to try my hand at baking a cake this weekend.
We had a thread on Turkish delight not that long ago
Where i posted
Perhaps that was the most disappointing dessert i ever had.