For an April Fools’ broadcast of the CBS Evening News, Walter Kronkite is all sprawled back on a bean bag, limbs akimbo, “all casz”, wearing brown flared slacks, platforms, gold satin shirt that’s open half-way down to show four or five gold blingy necklaces, cop shades, John Waters-y moustache, rings on all fingers (which he shows off by slowly adjusting his glasses), and delivers the news in a blase, offhand “yeah, so -” manner, sometimes with little waving gestures, conveying a loss of words.
Season Two was pretty good, especially when we finally meet Ma Cobb. Jayne had been talking about her as if she were some sort of Amazon, but having Linda Hunt play her was genius.
I know everyone was saying they lost it during Season Three (The Auspicious Year) because everything worked out well for the crew of Serenity but it blew every fan’s mind when we find out that Ma Cobb had been reinvesting every credit Jayne sent home and was setting Mal up to replace Niska. (The Ma Cobb/ Niska “wedding” episode was the highlight of the series for me.)
Series finale of Newhart: Bob wakes up in a darkened room and says “I just had the oddest dream”. A naked and aroused Darryl says “Aw, baby, let Daddy fix it.”
The show where Jethro introduces Ellie, Granny and Uncle Jed to his new friend “Mango” who has convinced him to invest in a Beverly Hills Bar called “The Manhole”.
Ellie thinks Mango is “awful purty” but he pays no attention to her.
Uncle Jed looks like he wants to say something but keeps quiet.
Arnold Ziffle is missing and suspicion falls on Oliver Douglas and his “Big Green Egg” smoker which he refuses to open for inspection. A search warrant is obtained but as Oliver is a county greenhorn, but a wily big city attorney he foils the investigation on technical grounds and has a nice barbecue.
Gilligan’s Island: Maryanne finally says the hell with it, virginity is for losers and we’re all going to die anyway, and has wild monkey sex on the beach with the Skipper. In the background we see a rescue ship approaching.
The Rifleman: Lucas McCain does his fancy twirling rifle thing and shoots three toes off. Later in the episode, he accidentally kills the sheriff and the mayor and is charged with TWI.
Wagon Train: A wrong turn is taken and the intrepid travelers wind up in Donner’s Pass, with the inevitable results.
The lost series finale of “The Donna Reed Show”: Donna is pulled out by cops, covered in blood and carrying an ax, muttering “if my husband hadn’t complained about his eggs…”.
Father Knows Best: Jim comes home early one night to find Margaret passed out surrounded by brandy bottles, Princess in bed with their Mexican gardener, and Bud sashaying down the staircase in an evening gown. Somehow everything is forgiven and we end with yet another heartwarming embrace.
Knight Rider: The one time we see who’s driving the mobile command center semi: BJ and the Bear.
Star Trek: Voyager: A clip show showing all the times Voyager and its crew were destroyed or marooned forever in the Delta Quadrant, only for Q to resurrect them yet again.
The Munsters: The neighbors finally get up their nerve and storm the house with torches, driving stakes through the hearts of Lily and Grandpa and shooting Eddie with a silver bullet. The house is set on fire and Herman apparently dies in the conflagration. After the mob leaves we see the ashes move and a hand is thrust up from the rubble.
That would be my favorite episode of anything, ever. Good job!
My idea was for a (90s) X-files episode in which Mulder and Scully unexpectedly wake up nude and sweaty in the same bed, and neither of them quite remember the evening before. Mulder has a ridiculously sane but contrived Rube Goldbergesque solution, whereas Scully is convinced that they were drugged/hypnotized by aliens/the Conspiracy. In the end, you see a flashback (either narrated or POV from one of the Lone Gunmen tagging along) in which it was a very mundane evening out sparked by way too many $1 margarita specials while they were trying to track stories about El Chupacabra or the like.
The Big Bang Theory - Sheldon and Penny have sex, while Howard and Raj are having sex.
Law & Order SVU - A demented, intelligent doctor is thought to be the serial rapist/killer/. The doctor is played, of course, by a scruffy Hugh Laurie. In the end, he gets killed and eaten by the husband of one of his victims played, of course, by Anthony Hopkin.
