Maybe the fish got behind in his payments to the Fish Mafia and they sent him to sleep with the gophers.
Hmmm, there’s a thread about how fish can populate a body of water in GQ. I think some people there might want to speak with you.
Well duh. The fish had the same prophetic dream of your fire burning down the forrest, and he struggled his way on-shore to douse the coals.
((Sniff)) Poor brave fish.
Maybe the helicopter scooped up water to put out your fire that was burning down the woods and grabbed the fish by accident.
Yes, I know that story is an urban legend. No need to link to Snopes for me.
Obviously someone in an airplane flushed the fish down the toilet.
Wait…
Why didn’t I see this before? Call the government! Alert Homeland Security!
Someone is using…Weapons of Bass Destruction!
GRRROOOOOOOAAAAAANNNNNNNN! 
The other day I was cleaning out my Koi pond, and found a barbequed chicken breast. I’ve also found a rat skeleton, a half-eaten lollipop, a shoelace, and am always dredging out peanut shells. We have a neighborhood crow that uses the pond as its own personal hobo-stew and is always dropping the strangest things into it.
Are you sure you were really awake? You could have dreamed the whole thing. sings “… wet dream, cruisin’ through the Gulf stream, ooooo ooooo ooooo…”
If not, then what kind of fish was it? Was it of a species typically found in the Susquehanna? It may have been dropped by a bird of prey. Were there any wounds indicative of animal teeth or claws?
Salmon chanted evening…
You might find your someone…
This really isn’t very finny.
I smelt this pun-fest coming a mile away.
you just keep on feeding us the same old line…
yet we swallowed it, hook, line, and sinker
now I’m floundering
Sigh. A well-respected doper asks for the answer to a mystery, and all he gets are puns.
Oh what shad times are these…
All depends on where your perch is I guess…
But seriously now, what the heck is a fire pit? OK, obviously it’s a pit in which one lights fires. But why? Do we just like seeing stuff burn? Is it a communication system in emulation of the ancient Incas? Do they not pick up the trash in that neck of the woods?
I guess I’ve gotten a little too urbanized, I just don’t understand these things.