Knowledge Is Good. - Emil Faber
[quote]
A man a plan a canal panama{/quote]
Doc, note, I dissent a fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
“It is what it is.”
As a matter of fact, it worked perfectly, resulting in the capture of Mobile Bay, Alabama by the Union during the Civil War. (The “torpedoes” of the day were what we would now call tethered mines, not the water-borne missiles we tend to think of.) And, the actual quote, by Admiral Farragut, is “Damn the torpedoes, Full speed ahead!”, although this may be apocryphal.
“Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody wang-chung tonight.”
I never had any fun when I tried to wang-chung.
We once received keychains to kick off a company morale campaign that said “Get it right the first time.” I’m all for quality, but I didn’t find this very inspiring. I kept expecting to flip it over and see “Or else.”
Harriet the Spry
We had some of that sort of “quality” propaganda, too.
The neatest thing was the “Crafted With Pride In The USA” tie we were given. Noteworthy was that the tie was made in China, as are a fair percentage of American flags.
That’s okay, Harriet the Spry, the marketing geniuses at a company I worked for decreed that all employees who had contact with the public were to wear little pins which said "We’re #2", with the instruction to reply to any inquiries about it with an enthusiastic, “Why, you’re #1.” (How clever and innovative, eh? Right.)
Only one person actually ever asked me about that pin. I told him it was a grade-school euphemism.
Okay, it’s not that funny, but perhaps the world would’ve been better if he’d tried stand up comedy.
I’ve seen those too. I nearly had a fit laughing.
I bet Chung doesn’t like getting wanged every night.
I don’t know who said it but:
“There are two things you should never see being made: sausages and law.”
I can top that. Company I once worked for had a bunch of coffee mugs made up to give out at trade fairs, etc. The mugs bore the slogan “CompanyX: Focused on Quality.” Only problem was, as some of us found out, the first time you put a hot beverage in them, the handle fell off!!!
I believe that should be “I don’t want to attain immortality through my work. I want to attain immortality through not dying.”
The least inspiring bit of workplace propaganda I’ve seen is the awful “Attitude is everything” paragraph. It’s horribly written, and simply not true. I worked with a few people who had a truly gung-ho can-do attitude but were still entirely useless compared to the mildly apathetic folks who were technically proficient at their jobs.
Everyone old enough to remember the cold war will also remember Khrushchev’s “We will bury you.” But not so many remember Khrushchev’s more colorful threat: “Let’s throw a hedgehog down Uncle Sam’s pants.”
Thanks for the correction; it’s much funnier when told properly.
I once had a forensics teacher (speech and debate, not the scientific one) say to our class “you cannot do anything original or creative; it’s all already been done”. Nothing quite puts a damper on the your mood as being told what you do isn’t creative.
–greenphan
Yeah, “there’s nothing new under the sun” really sucks. I disagree anyway, though that’s a different argument.
quote:
Originally posted by greck
Makin’ fun a Jebediah Springfield, that’s a paddlin.
Misspelling embiggens, that’s a paddlin.
Misquotin’ Hans Sprungfeld, that’s a paddlin.
ahem
“A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.”
I stand paddled and corrected.
From a despair.com calendar:
On meetings: None of us is as stupid as all of us.
On flattery: To get to the top, you have to kiss a lot of the bottom.
A favorite of mine I stole from a odd 8 year old kid on the way to an amusment park. It was like a 2 hour car ride to get there. Near the end of the car ride the kid exclaims…
If you’re bored, you don’t have to do anything!
The kid happily lept from the car upon arriving at the amusment park and made a mad dash for the main entrance. This was one weird kid.
Not sure who said it, overheard it while eating dinner: “When you give 150%, you’re always going to get 100 back.”
What the hell? I’m never going to get off my intelligent ass if I know I’m losing 50% of my effort with everything I do!
I can’t recall where I heard this: “If it’s not necessary yo do anything, it IS necessary to do nothing.”
Calvin Coolidge: “The business of America is business.”
Marion Barry: “The bitch set me up.”
Dan Quayle: One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.’"