For beckwall, who will be sorely missed.
This is a big country. (I’m being all biased here and just talking about the United States of America, because it would just be crazy to talk about the whole world.) There are a lot of places to go and see and then leave. But you know what? They are all named the same thing. Not like every place in the whole country has the same name, but if there’s a place with a particular name, there’s another place, maybe not all that far away, with the same name. It’s like the people who were forging new lands in the wilderness just weren’t all that clever.
“Let’s see…” they’d say to themselves. “I was born in Springfield, and then when I was three we moved to Springfield, and then I went to work in Springfield for a bit, but then I moved to Springfield for that raise. Now I’m forging new lands out of the wilderness… Hey! You! Get out of here! I’m not done forging this new land yet! Git! Now I’m forging new lands out of the wilderness so I’ll call this place… Springfield!”
(There are seven regular Springfields in Virginia alone. Plus a Springfield Forest, a Springfield Square and a Springfield Station. It’s true, look it up your own self.)
If you want to settle down in a particular spot, and not move from that spot and maybe name your dog Spot (because you already had a dog named Spot, not necessarily because your current dog has a spot on its whole body) you could live in Spot, North Carolina or Spot, Tennessee.
If you like the hustle and bustle of New York City , you have six different New Yorks to choose from, from Florida to Texas. You’ve even got a couple of regular Yorks to choose from if you’re more traditional that way.
If you’d rather trade life in the Big Apple (or the passel of smaller Apples) for a gig in the booming metropolis of Metropolis you could live in Illinois, Louisiana or Puerto Rico. Superman really gets around.
But if you’re feeling pretty gloomy and just can’t go on any longer and you want a place to reflect that feeling you have, the bad news is you can’t live in Death. There is no US place name of Death. But you could live in Death Valley Junction, and that’s pretty close, isn’t it?
So if you decide to move, and you want to be able to remember your new address easily, make sure you start out on a Maple Street and there’s a good chance you could move to another Maple Street in another town with the same name. Especially if you live on a Maple Street in a Springfield.