The News Sucks

Everyone knows the news today sucks, with corporatization of news departments, media conglomeration, etc., right? It’s all car chases, crime, celebrities and feelgood stories. For instance, here’s a rundown of an actual news program:

Rose Bowl Game results

President Gives State of Union Message To Congress

US Army Tests New Weapon

Military Crisis Overseas

Men’s Fashion Preview

Sports In The News

Military Action in Asia

Cadets Seek Gold Wings

Easter Candy On The Way

Historic Workshop Preserved

Daredevil Dancers Hit The High Spots

World’s Fair Building Underway

New Hang Glider Gets A Trial

Mexicans Donate To Pay Oil Bill

Shocking 17-Story Death Leap

Nutty Invention

Ailing Boy Sees Race

Most Kissable Lips Judged

Chicago Cubs Name New Manager

New Aviation Record Set

Marines Wage Sham Warfare for Benefit

Movie Star Inspires Hair Style

Motorcycle Race A Thriller

It goes on like this.

Except this is a newsreel from 1938.

For 1938?!

**President Gives State of Union Message To Congress
**, Congress is happy he wasn’t a Deutsch

Men’s Fashion Preview, Lederhosen’s Own Marketing Blitzkrieg
**Easter Candy On The Way
**, Boy won’t Poland Be Surprised!

Those were supposed to be Newspaper headlines but for some reason it made new paragraphs. Sigh…