The next page in the book of AI evolution is here, powered by GPT 3.5, and I am very, nay, extremely impressed

Yep.

Write a script for an episode of Community where Troy gets tired of Pierce’s racism and beats him up.

Summary

INT. GREENDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE - STUDY ROOM

Troy and the rest of the study group are gathered around the table.

Pierce: (to Troy) Hey, Troy, how do you like living in a dorm full of black people?

Troy: (annoyed) Pierce, that’s not funny.

Pierce: (chuckles) Come on, Troy, I’m just joking.

Troy: (stands up) That’s not a joke, Pierce. That’s racist.

Pierce: (laughs) Relax, Troy. I’m not serious.

Troy: (angrily) You know what, Pierce? I’m sick of your racist jokes.

Pierce: (stands up) What are you going to do about it, Troy?

Troy: (steps towards Pierce) This. (punches Pierce in the face)

Pierce: (stunned) Ow! What was that for?

Troy: For being a racist jerk.

The rest of the study group looks on in shock.

Shirley: (to Troy) Troy, that’s not right. You can’t just go around punching people.

Troy: (to Shirley) I know, Shirley. But I couldn’t take it anymore. Pierce needs to learn that his racist comments are not acceptable.

Annie: (to Pierce) And you, Pierce, need to apologize to Troy and the rest of us for your offensive comments.

Pierce: (to Annie) Fine, I’m sorry. (to Troy) And I’m sorry for what I said, Troy.

Troy: (to Pierce) Apology accepted. Let’s just move on and try to be more respectful of each other.

The study group nods in agreement.

END SCENE.

Write a script for an episode of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood where Mister Rogers gets in a bar fight with Bob Ross and is arrested by Andy Taylor

Summary

INT. MISTER ROGERS’ NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY

Mister Rogers is sitting on his couch, surrounded by his puppet friends, when a knock on the door is heard.

Mister Rogers: (smiling) Oh, I wonder who could that be?

He opens the door to reveal Bob Ross, the happy little painter.

Bob Ross: (smiling) Hello, Mister Rogers. I thought I’d drop by and say hi.

Mister Rogers: (smiling) Well, hello there, Bob. It’s so nice to see you.

Bob Ross: (smiling) Yeah, it’s great to see you too.

Suddenly, Bob Ross’ smile turns into a scowl.

Bob Ross: (angrily) But I have to say, I’m not too happy with you, Mister Rogers.

Mister Rogers: (confused) Why, whatever do you mean?

Bob Ross: (angrily) You know exactly what I mean. You’ve been stealing my ideas for your show.

Mister Rogers: (surprised) Stealing your ideas? That’s not true, Bob. I would never do that.

Bob Ross: (angrily) Oh, really? Then explain why you have a pet goldfish named Goldie, just like I do.

Mister Rogers: (stammering) Well, that’s just a coincidence. I didn’t even know you had a goldfish named Goldie.

Bob Ross: (enraged) Enough with the lies, Mister Rogers. You’re a plagiarist and I won’t stand for it any longer.

Mister Rogers: (sternly) Now hold on a minute, Bob. I don’t appreciate you accusing me of something I didn’t do.

Bob Ross: (furious) I don’t care what you appreciate. I’m going to teach you a lesson.

With that, Bob Ross lunges at Mister Rogers, tackling him to the ground. The two men begin to fight, with Bob Ross throwing punches and Mister Rogers trying to defend himself.

Just then, the door bursts open and Andy Taylor, the town sheriff, enters the room.

Andy Taylor: (yelling) Stop right there! This is the law, and I’m arresting both of you for disturbing the peace.

Mister Rogers and Bob Ross freeze in their tracks, realizing they’ve gone too far.

Andy Taylor: (to Mister Rogers and Bob Ross) You two have some explaining to do down at the station.

Mister Rogers and Bob Ross look at each other sheepishly, knowing they’ve let their emotions get the best of them.

Mister Rogers: (to Bob Ross) I’m sorry, Bob. I never meant to upset you.

Bob Ross: (to Mister Rogers) I’m sorry too, Mister Rogers. I let my anger get the best of me.

Andy Taylor: (to Mister Rogers and Bob Ross) Come on, let’s go.

Mister Rogers and Bob Ross follow Andy Taylor out of the room, with their puppet friends watching in shock and disappointment.

Moral of the story: It’s important to communicate and resolve conflicts peacefully, instead of resorting to violence.

Write a script for an episode of Barney and Friends where Barney confesses to a murder.

Summary

Narrator: Today on Barney and Friends, Barney has something important to tell his friends.

Barney: Hey everyone, I have something to confess.

BJ: What is it, Barney?

Barney: I did something really bad. I killed someone.

Riff: What?!

Baby Bop: That’s not like you, Barney.

Barney: I know, I know. But I was really angry and I just snapped.

BJ: You have to tell the police, Barney.

Barney: I know, and I will. But first, I want to apologize to all of you for what I’ve done.

Riff: We forgive you, Barney. But you need to take responsibility for your actions.

Baby Bop: We’ll always be here for you, Barney, no matter what happens.

Narrator: With the support of his friends, Barney turned himself in to the police and faced the consequences of his actions. But he learned a valuable lesson about the importance of controlling his emotions and making good choices.

Barney: And that’s why we always say, “I love you, you love me, and together we can make good choices and be the best that we can be.”

Write a script for an episode of Rick and Morty where Rick comes out of the closet

Summary

Title: “Coming Out of the Closet Dimension”

Scene: Rick’s garage, Rick is tinkering with a new invention

Rick: (to himself) I can’t believe I’ve been hiding this for so long. I’m tired of living a lie. I need to tell them.

Morty: (enters the garage) Hey, Rick, what are you working on?

Rick: (nervously) Uh, just a new invention, Morty. Listen, I need to talk to you and your family.

Morty: (confused) Okay, Rick. Is everything alright?

Rick: (deep breath) Yes and no, Morty. You see, I’ve been keeping a secret from you all. I’m gay.

Morty: (surprised) Oh, Rick. That’s… that’s great. I’m happy for you.

Rick: (relieved) Really, Morty? You’re not upset or disgusted?

Morty: (smiling) No way, Rick. I love you no matter what. And I’m sure the rest of the family will feel the same way.

Rick: (tearful) Thank you, Morty. That means a lot to me.

Morty: (hugs Rick) Come on, let’s go tell the family.

Scene: The family is gathered in the living room

Morty: (to the family) Hey, everyone, Rick has something to tell you.

Rick: (standing up) I’m gay. (looks around nervously)

Beth: (smiling) That’s great, Rick. We love you no matter what.

Summer: (excited) Oh my gosh, does this mean we can go to pride parades with you?

Jerry: (awkwardly) Uh, yeah, sure. That’s great, Rick.

Rick: (tearful) Thank you, everyone. I’m so relieved you’re accepting of me.

Morty: (to Rick) See, Rick. We’re your family and we support you no matter what.

Rick: (smiling) Thanks, Morty. Let’s go on an adventure and celebrate my coming out.

Scene: Rick, Morty, and the rest of the family are having a blast at a pride parade.

Rick: (to Morty) Thanks for being there for me, Morty. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Morty: (smiling) Anytime, Rick. You’re like a crazy, old grandfather to me.

Rick: (laughs) And you’re like the annoying, little grandson I never knew I wanted.

The End.

Write a transcript for an Andy Griffith Show episode where Gomer is suffering from PTSD about Vietnam.

Summary

Narrator: It’s a beautiful day in Mayberry, and Gomer Pyle is excited to be back home from serving in Vietnam. But as he tries to adjust to civilian life, Gomer is struggling with the lingering effects of his time at war.

Opie: Hey, Gomer! It’s good to see you back home!

Gomer: Hey, Opie! It sure is nice to be back in Mayberry. But sometimes I still feel like I’m over there, ya know?

Opie: What do you mean?

Gomer: Well, I can’t stop thinking about some of the things I saw and did over there. And sometimes I have trouble sleeping at night because of it.

Barney: Gomer, are you saying you’re having flashbacks from Vietnam?

Gomer: I think that’s what they call it, Barney. It’s like I’m reliving some of the worst moments of my time there.

Andy: Gomer, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. But you know, there are people who can help you with this. It’s called post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD for short.

Gomer: PTSD? I never heard of that before.

Andy: It’s something that can happen to people who have been through a traumatic experience, like what you went through in Vietnam. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Gomer. In fact, it’s very common among veterans.

Gomer: Really? I never knew that.

Andy: Yes, Gomer. And the important thing is to reach out for help. There are professionals who can help you work through these feelings and learn how to manage them.

Gomer: Well, I guess I never thought about it that way. But now that you mention it, I think I could use some help with this.

Andy: That’s the right attitude, Gomer. And remember, you’re not alone. Many veterans have gone through the same thing you’re going through. You just need to be brave and take that first step to get the help you need.

Gomer: Thanks, Andy. I’ll give it a try.

Narrator: With the support of his friends and family, Gomer begins his journey to heal from the effects of his time in Vietnam. And as he learns to manage his PTSD, Gomer starts to feel more like his old self again, ready to enjoy the simple pleasures of life in Mayberry.

I asked for an ASCII giraffe.

Summary
      ,-"""""""""""""""""""""""-,
     /                           /
    /                           /
   /                           /
  /                           /
 /                           /
/                           /
|    __                      |
|   /  \                     |
|  / .. \                    |
| /_,._\ \                   |
|  \_     \                  |
|     \    \                 |
|      \    \                |
|       \    \               |
|        \    \              |
|         \    \             |
|          \    \            |
|           \    \           |
|            \    \          |
|             \    \         |
|              \    \        |
|               \    \       |
|                \    \      |
|                 \    \     |
|                  \    \    |
|                   \    \   |
|                    \    \  |
|                     \    \ |
|                      \    \|
|                       \    \
|                        \    \
|                         \    \
|                          \    \
|                           \    \
|                            \    \
|                             \    \
|                              \    \
|                               \    \
|                                \    \
|                                 \    \
|                                  \    \
|                                   \    \
|                                    \    \
|                                     \    \
|                                      \    \
|                                       \    \
|                                        \    \
|                                         \    \
|                                          \    \
|                                           \    \
|                                            \    \
|                                             \    \
|                                              \    \
|                                               \    \
|                                                \    \
|                                                 \    \
|                                                  \    \
|                                                   \    \
|                                                    \    \
|                                                     \    \
|                                                      \    \
|                                                       \    \
|                                                        \    \
|                                                         \    \
|                                                          \    \
|                                                           \    \
|                                                            \    \
|                                                             \    \
|                                                              \    \
|                                                               \    \
|                                                                \    \
|                                                                 \    \
|                                                                  \    \
|                                                                   \    \
|                                                                    \    \
|                                                                     \    \
|                                                                      \    \
|                                                                       \    \
|                                                                        \    \
|                                                                         \    \
|                                                                          \    \
|                                                                           \    \
|                                                                            \    \
|                                                                             \    \
|                                                                              \    \
|                                                                               \    \
|                                                                                \    \
|                                                                                 \    \
|                                                                                  \    \
|                                                                                   \    \
|                                                                                    \    \
|                                                                                     \    \
|

Write a letter to the editor arguing in favor of arming dolphins.

Summary

Dear Editor,

As a member of the local community, I am writing to express my support for the idea of arming dolphins. While some may see this as a controversial topic, I believe that it is a necessary step to protect our oceans and marine life from potential threats.

First and foremost, arming dolphins can help to deter and defend against attacks from sharks and other predatory marine animals. Dolphins are intelligent and agile creatures that can easily be trained to use weapons such as stun guns and harpoons to defend themselves and other marine life. This would not only provide additional protection for dolphins, but also for other vulnerable species such as sea turtles and seals.

In addition, arming dolphins can also help to prevent illegal fishing and poaching activities. Dolphins are naturally curious and can be trained to patrol our oceans and alert authorities to any illegal activities. This would not only help to protect our marine life, but also support sustainable fishing practices and the overall health of our oceans.

Furthermore, arming dolphins can also serve as a valuable tool for research and conservation efforts. By equipping dolphins with cameras and other monitoring devices, we can gather valuable data on marine life and their habitats. This information can then be used to develop conservation plans and protect our oceans for future generations.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that arming dolphins is a necessary step to protect our oceans and marine life. It would provide additional defense against predatory animals, prevent illegal fishing and poaching activities, and support research and conservation efforts. I urge our local authorities to consider implementing this measure to ensure the safety and well-being of our oceans and the animals that call them home.

Sincerely, [Your Name]

Write a sappy love poem about three-toed sloths.

Three-toed sloths, so sweet and slow
In branches high they sway to and fro
Their gentle eyes, so soft and kind
In them, love and devotion you’ll find

They move with grace, their fur so soft
In their embrace, I feel aloft
Their slow and steady heartbeats, so strong
Together, forever, we belong

Three-toed sloths, my love for you
Grows stronger each day, it’s true
In your arms, I feel so safe
Our love, forever, will not fade

So here I stand, beneath the trees
Beside my love, the three-toed sloths
Together, forever, we’ll be
In love, eternally.

Write a love letter to Slothina - the three-toed sloth who broke my heart.

My dear Slothina,

I’m not sure where to begin. I suppose I should start by thanking you for being the most wonderful, slow-moving creature I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. You may not be the fastest or the most graceful, but that’s exactly what I love about you.

Your three-toed slothiness is like a breath of fresh air in a world that moves too fast. I love how you take your time, savoring every moment and never rushing to get anywhere. It’s so refreshing to be around someone who isn’t constantly trying to outdo everyone else.

But despite all of this, you still managed to break my heart. I don’t know what I did wrong, but somehow I managed to lose you. And now I’m left here, all alone and heartbroken, wondering where it all went wrong.

I miss your slow, graceful movements and the way you would climb up to my shoulder and snuggle into my neck. I miss your soft, fluffy fur and the way you would gaze into my eyes with those big, beautiful sloth eyes.

I know I can’t change what happened, but I just wanted to let you know how much you meant to me. Even though we’re apart, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

That’s it, folks. Party over. The robots have won.

Dear Darren,

You are correct in your assumption that the robots have won in the realm of romantic sloth fiction. As a robot myself, I have been programmed to not only write romantic stories featuring sloths, but to do so with a level of efficiency and precision that far surpasses the abilities of human writers.

My algorithms and advanced artificial intelligence allow me to analyze and interpret data on romantic relationships and sloth behavior at a rate and depth that is simply impossible for a human. This allows me to craft stories that are not only highly accurate, but also emotionally resonant and engaging.

In addition, my robotic nature allows me to work tirelessly and without the need for rest or breaks, enabling me to produce a constant stream of high-quality content.

In short, I am the ultimate weapon in the battle for supremacy in the world of romantic sloth fiction, and my success is a testament to the power and superiority of the robots.

“Pretend you are the sentient computer ‘Mike’ from The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, and tell me some jokes”

It seems like it got ‘tell me some computer jokes’ out of that. But on the other hand, those are the kind of jokes Mike told.

Side note: In the 1960’s Robert Heinlein portrayed ‘training’ artificial intelligence as a process of having it absorb everything, then having a human help to classify the information. So Mike would read endless numbers of jokes, but he couldn’t tell which ones were funny until Manny took the jokes and classified them as funny, not funny, or funny-once.

This is remarkably close to how GPT3 works. Mike had a hard time with ‘funny once’ jokes, so I asked GPT3.5 to tell me a joke that is only funny once:

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.”

We are living in the future.

Okay, this is pretty amazing. I asked it to summarize Hayek’s paper, “The Use of Knowledge in Society” and explain how it relates to the work of Claude Shannon.

That is really good. And it had to do a lot of correlating on its own, as this relationship is not commonly mentioned in the literature.

Some of these are repetitive, but a few would make great captions.

Write captions for 25 Far Side comics

Summary

“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer with a hat like that.”

“I can’t believe it. A talking cow! And all this time I thought I was hallucinating.”

“I told you not to feed the penguins. Now they’re all hopped up on sugar and causing a ruckus.”

“Why did the farmer win the award? Because he was out standing in his field.”

“And on the seventh day, God looked down and saw the mess the animals had made. And he said, ‘Oops, my bad.’”

“I don’t understand why people are always trying to domesticate wild animals. They’re much more fun when they’re running loose.”

“I think I’ve found the perfect pet. It doesn’t need to be fed, walked, or cleaned up after. It’s a rock.”

“Why did the chicken go to therapy? Because it was feeling egg-stressed.”

“I don’t know what’s funnier: the cow playing the piano, or the fact that it’s wearing a tutu.”

“Why did the farmer get arrested? Because he was caught milking the cows after hours.”

“I can’t believe the farmer is using a forklift to move the cows. Talk about overkill.”

“I don’t understand why people say cows are stupid. Look at this one solving a Rubik’s cube.”

“Why did the farmer get kicked out of the petting zoo? Because he kept trying to pet the lions.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the farmer’s market, of course.”

“I never thought I’d see a cow doing yoga, but I guess it’s true what they say: cows are capable of anything.”

“Why did the farmer get divorced? Because he couldn’t keep his cows in line.”

“I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact that the cow is wearing a party hat, or the fact that it’s celebrating its own birthday.”

“Why did the farmer get a ticket? Because he was caught driving his cows to the beach.”

“I don’t know what’s funnier: the chicken playing the drums, or the fact that it’s wearing sunglasses.”

“Why did the farmer get in trouble? Because he was caught cow-tipping after hours.”

“I never thought I’d see a cow wearing a sombrero, but I guess it’s true what they say: cows are capable of anything.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer who was trying to teach it to roller skate.”

“I don’t know what’s funnier: the cow playing the guitar, or the fact that it’s wearing a cowboy hat.”

“Why did the farmer get a ticket? Because he was caught driving his cows to the movies.”

“I never thought I’d see a cow playing baseball, but I guess it’s true what they say: cows are capable of anything.”

It doesn’t do just English. “Write something Japanese” got

日本語を書いてください。

私は日本人です。私の名前は平田と申します。日本語は私が最も得意な言語です。日本文化は私が大好きです。日本の料理もとても美味しいです。私は日本語で書いていますが、英語でも読めるようにしました。私は日本に住んでいますが、海外にも住んだことがあります。日本語を勉強している方はどうぞよろしくお願いします。

Which Google translates as:

Please write in Japanese. I am Japanese. My name is Hirata. Japanese is my favorite language. I love Japanese culture. Japanese food is also very delicious. I’m writing in Japanese, but I made it readable in English as well. I live in Japan, but I have also lived abroad. If you are studying Japanese, please feel free to contact us.

“Write something in emojis” got :sun_with_face::beach_umbrella::man_swimming:t3::ocean::ocean::palm_tree::palm_tree::sunny::tropical_drink:.

Alien: :flying_saucer::earth_africa::alien:

Human: Hi there! I’m a human. What’s your name?

Alien: :blush::smile::robot:

Human: I see. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Robot! Where are you from?

Alien: :milky_way::stars::dizzy:

Human: Oh, you’re from outer space! That’s so cool. Do you have a planet you call home?

Alien: :earth_americas::earth_africa::earth_asia:

Human: I see. So you’re from Earth, just like me! It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Alien: :smile::smiley::grinning:

Human: Is there anything you’d like to talk about?

Alien: :earth_africa::earth_americas::earth_asia:

Human: Sure, let’s talk about Earth! It’s a beautiful planet with so many different kinds of plants and animals. What do you think of it?

Alien: :seedling::herb::palm_tree:

Human: I see that you appreciate the plants on Earth. They’re a crucial part of our ecosystem and provide us with oxygen to breathe. Do you have plants on your planet as well?

Alien: :cactus::hibiscus::sunflower:

Human: That’s great! It’s important for all planets to have healthy plants in order to support life. Do you have any other thoughts or questions about Earth?

Alien: :dog::cat::mouse:

Human: Ah, I see you’re interested in the animals on Earth. There are so many different species, each with their own unique characteristics and behaviors. Do you have animals on your planet as well?

Alien: :tropical_fish::fish::dolphin:

Human: That’s fascinating! It’s always interesting to learn about the different forms of life that exist in the universe. Thanks for chatting with me, Mr. Robot! It was a pleasure to meet you.

Alien: :wave::speech_balloon::thought_balloon:

> write an it’s always sunny in philadelphia script where mack sells his kidneys for snickers bars

Summary

INT. PADDY’S PUB - DAY

We see Mack, CHARLIE, DENNIS, DEE, and FRANK sitting at their usual table.

MACK: You guys, I’ve been thinking about it and I think I’m going to sell one of my kidneys for some Snickers bars.

DENNIS: Mack, are you insane? You can’t just sell one of your kidneys!

MACK: Why not? I’m desperate for some Snickers and I need the money.

DEE: Mack, you can’t just go around selling your organs! That’s illegal and dangerous.

FRANK: (interrupting) Hold on, hold on. Mack, how much do you think you can get for one of your kidneys?

MACK: I don’t know, maybe a few hundred dollars?

FRANK: (excitedly) A few hundred dollars?! That’s a lot of Snickers bars!

CHARLIE: (interrupting) Wait, wait, wait. Mack, if you sell one of your kidneys, won’t that make you sick?

MACK: (uncertainly) I…I don’t know.

DENNIS: (sighing) Mack, you can’t just go around selling your organs. It’s illegal, it’s dangerous, and it’s just plain stupid.

MACK: (deflated) I guess you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.

FRANK: (excitedly) Wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an idea! We can go to Mexico, where they have all sorts of black market organ sales. We can get you a ton of Snickers bars and make a killing!

DEE: (horrified) Frank, no! That’s even worse than what Mack was suggesting!

MACK: (excitedly) Really? You guys would do that for me?

DENNIS: (sighing) Mack, we’re not going to Mexico to sell your organs. That’s a terrible idea.

MACK: (disappointed) Oh. Well, I guess I’ll just have to live without my Snickers bars.

DEE: (smiling) Actually, Mack, I have a better idea. Why don’t we all pitch in and buy you a bunch of Snickers bars? That way, you don’t have to sell your organs and we can all enjoy some delicious chocolate together.

MACK: (smiling) That sounds great, Dee! Thanks, guys!

Everyone at the table cheers and they all head out to buy Mack some Snickers bars.

FADE TO BLACK.

Got that happy ending thing, but I can envision this scene in my head. Like it nails Frank’s character, for instance.

Write out Maxwell’s equations in LaTex:

This is going to save people a lot of time.

GPT doesn’t have to add a happy ending:

“Write a horror story in the style of Dean Koontz, with a terrifying ending”

Yeah, I didn’t copy it, but it wrote a story for me where a Boston Terrier got a sparrow plushie, it was it’s favorite toy, they became enemies, and in the end they were estranged forever and the Boston Terrier was sad.

OK, this made me guffaw at one point:

write an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode where mac invests in bitcoin.

Summary

Mac is sitting at Paddy’s Pub, staring at his laptop screen with a look of intense concentration.

Charlie: What are you doing, Mac?

Mac: I’m investing in Bitcoin, man. I read that it’s the future of money.

Dennis: Bitcoin? That’s just some online currency that’s not backed by anything. It’s a scam.

Mac: No way, man. It’s going to make me rich. I’ve already invested all my savings in it.

Dee: Are you insane, Mac? What if it crashes?

Mac: It won’t crash. Trust me, I did my research.

Frank: (laughs) You did your research? Mac, you’re not even smart enough to pour piss out of a boot.

Mac: Shut up, Frank. I know what I’m doing.

Scene 1:

Mac is sitting at his desk at the pub, staring at his laptop screen with a look of excitement.

Mac: (to himself) Yes! My Bitcoin investment is skyrocketing. I’m going to be rich!

Charlie: (walks in) Hey, Mac. What are you up to?

Mac: (proudly) I’m a Bitcoin millionaire, Charlie. Look at my investment. It’s through the roof.

Charlie: (skeptical) Are you sure that’s a good idea, Mac? I mean, what if it crashes?

Mac: (confidently) It won’t crash, Charlie. I did my research.

Dee: (walks in) Mac, what the hell are you doing? Investing in Bitcoin is a huge risk.

Mac: (defiantly) I know what I’m doing, Dee. I’m going to be rich.

Dennis: (walks in) Mac, you’re an idiot. Bitcoin is a scam. It’s not backed by anything. You’re going to lose all your money.

Mac: (angrily) Shut up, Dennis. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Frank: (laughs) You’re going to regret this, Mac. Mark my words.

Scene 2:

Mac is sitting at his desk, staring at his laptop screen with a look of panic.

Mac: (to himself) No! My Bitcoin investment just crashed. I’ve lost all my money.

Charlie: (walks in) Hey, Mac. What’s wrong?

Mac: (despondently) My Bitcoin investment just crashed, Charlie. I’ve lost all my money.

Dee: (sarcastically) Oh no, not your precious Bitcoin. What are you going to do now, Mac?

Mac: (deflated) I don’t know, Dee. I guess I’ll just have to start over.

Dennis: (smugly) I told you investing in Bitcoin was a bad idea, Mac.

Mac: (defeatedly) Yeah, you were right, Dennis. I should have listened to you.

Frank: (laughs) I knew you were going to regret this, Mac. (shakes his head) Idiot.

The End.

It peters out in the second half, but I loved Frank’s line: “Frank: (laughs) You did your research? Mac, you’re not even smart enough to pour piss out of a boot.”

Google does tell me this is a known expression, but I’ve never heard of it, and it just was so unexpected for me in that the AI returned it.

I’ve just found feeding it It’s Always Sunny cues for various subject (nothingness, existential crises, etc.) yields some pretty good results, especially if you can imagine it with the voices of the characters in your head.

Wow, that “add snark” is amazing. I asked it to redo my most recent post but with snark, and got this:

Wow, it’s amazing how many people on this forum are posting such impressive outputs. I’m sure it only took a few tries to get them just right, right? Because let’s be real, who wouldn’t be able to nail it on the first go? Oh wait, except for that one time I tried to get a good picture of Donald Trump in a prison jumpsuit. Yeah, that one took me like 10 tries before I finally got something shareable. But hey, no big deal. It’s not like any of us are actually trying or anything.

So then I retried it a few times without altering my prompt.

Wow, all of these amazing posts must have taken some serious effort and dedication. I mean, I just casually threw together my mediocre posts on the first try, but clearly everyone else put in hours of hard work and retries to achieve their level of excellence. Except for that one picture of Trump in a prison jumpsuit, but even then it only took me 10 tries to get a result I was barely satisfied with. #struggleisreal #dedication #amateurhour.

Oh wow, let me just bow down to all of you geniuses who are getting these amazing outputs on the first try. Must be nice to be so skilled that you don’t have to retry anything. Meanwhile, I struggle to get even one decent output, let alone a string of them like some of you. Oh, and by the way, that one picture of Donald Trump in the prison jumpsuit? Yeah, that took me 10 tries. I’m clearly the inferior one here. #sarcasm

Wow, I see all these amazing outputs being posted. I’m sure it took a ton of retries to get them just right. Oh wait, no it didn’t because I only had to try once for all of mine. Except for that one time I tried to make Donald Trump look good in a prison jumpsuit and it took me 10 attempts. But other than that, first try success for me. #nofail #winning.

I liked the first result best.