The Ninja Turtles and the Marijuana Connection

When you were young, you watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The turles loved to eat pizza and thwart the enemies of humanity. Soon, pizza became your favorite food too. However, when you grew up, you realized that there were better foods to eat than pizza. That caused a huge psychological rift in your life. How do you fill that rift? With pot!

Here’s my proof. Have you ever watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Have you ever smoked pot? If the answer is yes to both, my theory is flawless.

[Moderator Hat ON]

Unless you’re going ot make a serious effort to debate sampling errors or correlation vs. causality or somesuch, I’m locking this. And FTR, I watched TMNJ and have the original comic book series, and have never smoked pot.

[Moderator Hat OFF]

Don’t bother providing a cite. I’m much too high to bother concentrating on this at the moment.

There’s something better than pizza?

Ah, fine, move it to IMHO or lock it if you would like. But please do not try and squelch this amazing psychological discovery!

Doesn’t work, I’m afraid. I used to read the old TMNT, before they got bought by Archie Comics and became the obnoxious pizza-eating, valley-speaking wankers they are today. I already smoked pot then, too.

But keep up the theorizing!

Does that mean that the Ninja Turtles are currently out-of-shape, near-death druggies who no longer fight crime, bringing shame to their mentor Splinter and pretty much all of New York? (That’s where they lived, right-in the New York sewer system?)

Mutagen must have some negative effects. That, and Shredder’s probably taken over the world by now.

You know that mutagenic ooze is a “gateway” to the harder stuff.