The Not-So-Great Stapler Debate

What gives? My stapler here at work is a piece of crap. I ordered a metal Bostitch stapler.

So the General Question I have is… What the hell happened to good old fashioned staplers that weighed a ton, and you could use them as a happer, a book end, a door stop, a paperweight or anything else that required something heavy and tough (besides your mutha!)

So… does anyone have any compelling evidence that the folks at Bostitch finally said… “Hey dudes, if we keep making these things indestructable, then we’ll all be out of a job!”?

Just wondering.


Get’cha a Swingline 747, y’hear? That’s a MAN’s stapler…

I suspect this may be tossed out of GQ . . .

I have my handy-dandy metal Bostitch stapler right here. (Model B440, if you’re interested.) I bought it a few years ago and it’s a real trooper.

So I guess no, I don’t have the evidence you’re looking for. Sorry. :wink:

This begs the quotation of The Onion once again:

“New Stapler Makes Other Staplers Look Like Worthless Shit”

But before (or after) it goes off to IMHO, I just have one question … what the heck’s a happer? I checked a few dictionaries, trying to think if it’s a typo for something, but no luck so far.

The smart money is on “hammer”.


The Stanley Bostitch Anti-Jam Standard Stapler: $4.97
The Swingline 646 Full-Strip Stapler: $7.97
The Stanley Bostitch Deluxe Standard Stapler: $9.97
The Swingline Full-Strip Staplers: $11.98

They also sell “heavy-duty staplers”, which may be the “doorstops” that you so fondly remember.

I’m guessing that you get what you pay for, dude. You order a five-dollar stapler, you’re gonna get five-dollar stapler performance.

(Am I the only one who thinks “deluxe standard” sounds–odd?)

Oh, and–a “happer” is a new word, a cross between “happy” and “hammer” and “rapper” i.e. “rap artist”. I leave you to draw your own conclusions… :smiley:

I’m guessing that with the advent of cheap plastics, companies realized they could save money by using cheaper materials. Same thing happened with other conveniences; even high-doller items such as cars are made less expensive with these materials. Plus, you already hit on the attractive “early failure with multiple replacements” aspect of lower-quality products.

Plus, some schmuck probably dropped one of those 15-lb. monsters on his foot and sued at some point. Thus the proliferance of lighter models.

My employer gave me a new stapler when I move into this office and it was the worst stapler I’ve ever seen. It was a piece of shit. You couln’t even use it with it sitting on the table, because the sides of it were form-fit for your hand; you had to pick it up to use it. It couldn’t staple more than five or six pages at a time without jamming. It sucked. Six months after I got it, it broke. What a waste of money.

I too, want a real stapler. A stapler should be a man’s tool, forged of iron and weigh ten or fifteen pounds and be usable as a club for smashing your enemies. It should make a loud KA-CHUNK sound when stapling paper and should drive staples through hardwood. It shouldn’t have plastic on it at all. Just iron.

Hey, I work in an office, this stuff is important to me. :smiley:

[Office Space dork] Excuse me… I… I b’lieve you have my thtapler… [/ODd]

The General Question is answered here, correct? And we can dispense with every stapler story in the world?

They all suck. The one to get is right here

I have this exact same stapler except in much nicer condition and it is amazingly superior to all the current stamped plastic fantastic crapola out there.
[sub]I could burn down the building…[/sub]

Once had a stapler that couldn’t stick two sheets of kleenex together. Then we received a different type of STAPLE in the office. Worked much better. Try buying a more expensive brand of staples.