Does your stapler work?

This is one of my on going polls.

My pet theory is that the stapler manufacturors produce about a 1:1,000,000,000 ratio of staplers that work. One being the working number, one million being the faulty ones that everyone owns thus causing Stapler Rage which transfers over into other areas of the workspace.

We have three staplers in the house. Two are complete shit seventy five percent of the time ( which seems to be the times I use it.It works fine with my husband, but he pummels it with a beefy fist into submission which brings him great satisfaction.) and the one that works is an old Swingline that has been around since Truman was in office. It has never let me down.

If my house catches on fire, I am grabbing my Swingline.

You can’t go wrong with a Swingline!

I have a Swingline in the office here and I would not recommend it. It sucks. It was discovered that the only way to make it work reliably is to buy expensive staples. So maybe the problem with the three staplers at home is due to the staple choice. Maybe your powder is wet, so to speak.

Actually I don’t think I’ve ever used a stapler that didn’t work.

I have a similar theory to yours about fridge/freezer doors. I believe that about 95 percent of fridges with freezer compartments or front opening freezers older than 2 years have at least one broken door. (that falls off every time you open the main door)

A stapler is far too valuable a piece of a equipment to ever let lapse into disrepair. I recently replaced a broken no-name desk model with a cool rubberized ergonomically designed Swingline, but my real pride and joy is a mini Swingline, which is compact in size, but takes regular staples. Even after three years of fairly hazardous in-backpack service it is still fastening papers together with admirable efficiency. It’s made from sassy semi-transparent orange plastic, with a keen little hatch for storing extra staples.

If my students fail to staple their homework, they automatically get a point off. Paperclip? Nice try. I confiscate the paperclip, replace it with a staple, and take a point off anyway. I don’t have any graduate students to handle this crap for me, and I don’t get paid enough to mix-n-match loose papers or untangle the paperclips that get caught on everyone else’s homework and pop off at the slightest provocation. And don’t get me started on people who fold over the corner and tear it. All the unreliability and inconvenience of a paperclip, and as a bonus, it looks like crap, too!

I’ve got an electric Swingline here at work that has never failed me. I’ve had it for almost 6 years now.

The Bostitch heavy duty stapler for the bigger wads of paper, well, that’s a piece of $#!t.

Swingline is the best brand of stapler I’ve ever used. I really should have taken the one from my office when I quit my job. The one we have at home is a Boston and it sucks.

I have a new Swingline at work, but, alas, it’s black, not red. It works great.

I too own two never-fail Truman-era Swinglines. (If only my girlfriends were as loyal as these babies!) They are long and steel and sport the reassuring heft of a small battleship. One of them even has an engraved plate claiming it is “[NYC] Board of Education Property.” It didn’t steal it, I swear, but I didn’t exactly buy it either. Regardless, I’ll be damned if ever give it up without a stiff fight.

Some people claim that the finest product to come out of Queens, NYC is the Steinway piano. I disagree. It’s the Swingline stapler. (Or at least it used to be. They may have moved away and/or started making crappy staplers. I wouldn’t know – my two “ol’ reliables” have never needed replacing and probably won’t in the forseeable future!)

FWIW, I too have heard that crappy staples are at least partially responsible for much of the world’s stapling woes.

I’ve got a Swingline at work that I put a label on saying TWICKSTER in big red letters. (Actually, I used my IRL first name, since labeling it “twickster” would lead to all sorts of odd questions.) Laugh, minions, laugh – that’s my stapler and I’ll pull a Milton before I’ll let you “borrow” it and “forget” to return it.

Actually, earlier today it was acting up, a little – I took out some defective staples and we’re back in business. So, yeah, another vote for bad staples being a major source of stapler malfunction.

I have a new Swingline which is so-so. I can tell it’s only a matter of time before it gives up the ghost.

My pride and joy, however, is a stapler that I first met while working in Italy. It is a sporty red Romeo Maestri Primula 6, and I was so taken with it, and sang its praises so loudly, that when I left the Italian office, my coworkers there presented me with the stapler, and what (so far) seems to be a lifetime supply of staples (which are different than the standard size here). I almost want to run out of staples, because then I will have the dubious distinction of being the freak in the office who orders imported staples from Italy.

Hmm, I’m guessing ‘Swingline’ is a popular brand of Stapler :dubious:

Pull a Milton…heeee. Don’t fark with Milton.

You are no freak. You’ve got it all wrong. Don’t order imported staples…you go there to buy them. And you need help me with this important job.

I googled it

I would like to state that *Romeo Maestri Primula 6 * would be a great name for a rock and roll band, except it probably involves Trademark laws and such nonsense.
Lobsang just for you

And for everyone else, The Milton.

Because you know you were thinking about this, **Shirley Ujest Productions in conjuction with **WhatMeWork Inc **? proudly presents:

***The Evolution of Staplers *** ::::Cue Dramatic Music :::::::

Wow. Just – wow.

WHAM! WHAM WHAM!

Stapler therapy. Who knew?
Whomever did the website has a fun sense of humor.

I remember the day just like it was yesterday. In 1986 the company I was working for relocated from Florida to New Hampshire. The dept. mgr. gave me my Swingline to take home.

I love my Swingline.

The Swingline I have at the office is something akin to this. Can’t say it’s a winner, but I’ve noted that & the staple issues before.

FTR, I think Chairman Pow has claimed to have found the World’s Greatest Staples: Stanley Papercrown staples.

I have a Boston that stands up on end, to take up less desk space. It has an ergonomic design. It works pretty well, except when it gets down to the last few staples - then it tends to jam.

Swingline? Feh, FEH I say! Nothing has ever surpassed my trusty Ace Cadet made ca. 1940 as pictured here except mine is that far more attractive tortoiseshell Bakelite.

I have had this stapler for over a decade and it has never once jammed ::knock on wood:: It has been stolen twice by nefarious coworkers and suffice it to say, the tale of their apprehension and the subsequent return of my most trusted office supply would put Herbert “Tha H-Dog” Kornfeld to shame.

Seriously, it works flawlessly, it is the perfect shape for holding in your hand, and it holds a lot of staples for its size. Beware the newer ones, they are far inferior, go with an old used one or none at all.