So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you hear from me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
A few minutes ago, however, someone handed me a brand new Rio Red Swingline 747 stapler, and a box of the premium!!! staples recommended for that model. So, looks like it’s not the worst day of my life after all. Ask me again tomorrow.
That is all.
Um, excuse me, but I believe you have MY stapler. I’d like it back please…
Yeah, well, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I’m keeping my Swingline stapler because it doesn’t bind up as much, and I’m keeping the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire.
Just remember listen to your radio at a reasonable volume between 9 and 11. That’s all I ask.
and please for the love of god DON’T show us your O face. That’s all I ask.
Just as long as I get a piece of cake. Last time I didn’t get one.
And don’t put strychnine in the guacamole.
PC load letter? What the f**k does that mean?
Congrats on your new stapler, dude. I hope it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
PS… If you’re ever feeling down, try creating some staple art. You know, staple a picture onto a piece of paper. It’s pretty fun. Nothing better than using office supplies to create beautiful works of art.
Never underestimate the power of a Swingline!
Glad to hear things are looking up, El_Kabong! May this be the first in a run of good luck for you!
Bri2k
This thread lacks flair.
It has the minimum required amount of flair.
Why is that a simple thing like a stapler can’t be made right? It’s so difficult to end up with properly working stapler… or is it just me?
Yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on Saturday…
Well, I, uh, I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.
So you’re going to quit?
You know what would be nice right now? Some Michael Bolton music.
Not really. I’m, uh, just gonna stop going.
But do you want to be the kind of person who does the minimum?
[QUOTE=El_Kabong]
… Ask me again tomorrow.
[/QUOTE]
Well now it’s tomorrow, how’s it going?
I just got a handful of red post-office rubber bands from stationary, so not too shabby today.
Guys! Check out channel nine! The breast exam is on!