My day is ruined.

My stapler broke.
I love my stapler. It’s so cool. It’s a manual stapler but it has the power of an electric. It can actually staple the amount of papers I usually get with every order I enter.
Now I’m stuck using the crappy one my company supplied. It jams if I try to staple more than one piece of paper.
I’m going to have to buy another cool one. I just can’t work like this.

I think a coworker broke it because they’re jealous of my cool stapler.

is anybody else having a “milton from office space” moment here?

Ha ha! My first thought was, “Is it red?”

I get that every time I mention my stapler. It’s not a Swingline though. Those suck. This is a Staples stapler.

Since you brought up Milton, I have to say that I have a coworker who looks EXACTLY like Milton. I’ve been working with him almost 3 years and I still have to supress the giggles every time we talk.

So, having any incontrollable urges to set your office on fire?

:::: passes around a hat to collect funds for congodwarf to buy a new stapler ::::

Today? No.
I did wake up wishing it had been struck by lightening during last night’s thunder storm. Would it surprise you to know that I actually like my job??