I hate filing.
All I’ve got to say really.
My fingers are suffering the wounds of a thousand paper cuts and I could happily sledge hammer the hole punch.
In the spirit of male fix-alls, I recomend covering the afflicted areas of your fingers with duct tape while filing, once your current wounds have healed, of course.
Any suggestions for the most effective method of hole punch destruction Frank?
I guess it really depends on what type of destruction you’re going for. Immediately I’m thinking of a Jack the Ripper type deal where you just totally disassemble the bloody thing. But given the status of your fingers, I don’t know of that would be the most feasible idea at the moment.
There’s always the classic “toss it off a building/into a river” method as well.
Personally, I like this one… get a hack saw and saw it into 5-6 pieces and strew them about the office as a warning to other ornery pieces of office paraphernalia.
My stapler was misbehaving.
I got another one from the supply cabinet and set it on my desk where the first stapler could see it. “Now, listen here, buddy,” I said. “You screw up once more, and that stapler over there is taking your place.”
Surprisingly enough, it worked. Stapler #1 has worked great ever since.
And here we all thought that computers were going to take care of this kind of thing - where is that paperless office they all promised us?
Years ago I worked for Kelly Services as a temp during my summers off from college. One of the jobs I was given was filing, and nothing but filing, all day every day. So every day, all day, I stood in the file room and filed. When I’d get close to the bottom of the pile, someone would bring in a stack with more. No one talked to me or paid me any mind at all - like I was a machine made to file. I got cuts on my hands so bad that I had bandages practically covering them by the time I got a clue and quit (and still someone had to point out to me that as a temp, I could quit that job and just ask for another one. Duh.). I lasted 3 weeks.
The worst part of it, though, was that I was filling in for someone else who had that job full time and was on maternity leave. I don’t know how someone could do that job day in and day out for years on end. Can you get workmen’s comp or disability for severe paper cuts?
I feel your pain. I’m a records manager. A big part of my job is handling other departments’ filing. And yet you should see my desk. Because I hate filing, too.
Some staplers seem to be the tool of the devil. I had this wonderful solid steel stapler that always worked, it never failed me and then one day it just disappeared. For the next 6 months I had to struggle with this awful plastic contraption that didn’t work 50% of the time. THEN I found my beloved old steel stapler on the desk of the guy downstairs, so I took it back. Nasty man steeling my precious.
leechbab, was it one of those Bostitch POS’s? That’s what we had all throughout school and not a single one of them worked.
And you’re not the only one who thought there would one day be a paperless office, romansperson. Xerox was so concerned in the 1970’s that paper would be declared obsolete by the Computer Age that they began developing the networking protocols that turned into modern-day Ethernet…which is one of the more popular networking schemes these days. Just an interesting factoid I thought some of you might enjoy…
Oops, terribly sorry… leechbabe
If you keep getting paper cuts on the same parts of your fingers, take a plastic Band-Aid (not one of those awful cloth-like ones) and cut some strips of just the plastic, sticky part off the ends. Peel and place a piece on each area before you start your day. They’ll help a lot.
As for the hole punch, if your company has a fork lift or similar vehicle, distract the driver long enough to place it near one of the back tires then innocently walk away. If your company can’t help in that regard, go out in the parking lot and find the car of the big cheese you like the least. Place the hole punch near one of the back tires then innocently walk away. 
Tikki I like the way you think!
For the record crappy stapler brand to avoid - REXEL Taurus