It’s steam heat city in my abode (R.H. about 20%). Humidifiers are useless as tits on a windmill. My skin is DRY.
I’m working with loads of paper, reorganizing a 78rpm record collection in paper sleeves, plus I got a box of nice heavyweight white inkjet paper that is fucking SHARP-EDGED AS HELL.
I am averaging one DEEP FUCKING BLOODY PAPER CUT a week. One day not long ago I had TWO. Within TEN MINUTES.
FUCK!
Have you tried turning on the safety on your sheets of paper?
I like the rhythm of the title. In the words of the Hitch-Hikers Guide, I think some of the…
I think I will go around saying “Ow Fuck Ow Ow Ow Fuck” for a while now.
Of course, were I Vogon, I would be writing excruciating doggerel in flowery praise of paper cuts.
Other people’s.
But thanks.
BTW, Krazy Glue is supposed to kill pain (from exposure to air) rapidly as well as seal the wound. I’ll lay some in.
Paper cuts are bad, but you ever get a cardboard cut? It’s less common, but leaves a ragged wound and hurts like a bitch. I got a couple when I worked at a warehouse packing boxes.
Anybody else had a papercut underneath a fingernail?
Or course the worst part of these things is that moment when you feel it happening but before you can stop it.
I can tell you from personal experience that Super Glue/Crazy Glue (cyanoacrylate glues ) are the things to use for any kind of cut that is in a place that is hard to bandage and keeps getting re-opened.
I had two just last week. 
Tits on a windmill!??!?
HA HA HA!
OgdammuthafuckinshitFIRE yes. That was one of the two I got in one day.
Holy mother of fuck on a pointed stick, I would have told Sessue Hayakawa anything he wanted to know after that.
In latest news, I tried New-Skin Liquid Bandage (another grassroots remedy) on yesterday’s cut. As of this morning, it still had not closed up. It’s on the shallow side of the finger opposite the nail, a tricky place as it’s constantly compressing and expanding as the finger pad is used.
My first day of my new job was spent filing. Manilla folder papercuts ALL OVER.
They itched like crazy, there must have been dust all over those folders. So many slices…
They’re the real vicious cuts. Paper - fah. That’s amateur stuff. You haven’t been truly sliced until a file folder cleaves your flesh. They’re wider and harder so hurt more. They require a few more 'ow’s and 'fuck’s.
You haven’t really enjoyed a papercut if you haven’t also had a food-preparation job that involves dunking your hand in the juice from jalapeno peppers or lemons.
When I first started my stellar legal career, I mostly reviewed documents. I would get at least one paper cut a day; sometimes it was in a new place, but sometimes, it would cut open an older paper cut.
And then one day, I discovered those little plastic/latex gloves at the drug store. Snap those suckers on, and it protected my hands. Sure, it made my hands stink and sweat, but no more paper cuts. (Plus I used tatoo bandaids, and they looked pretty through the gloves.)
I hear your pain. Such a relief when I moved off of document review and onto tasks that didn’t involve handling 3,000 to 10,000 sheets of paper a day. Oh, and the kids these days – reviewing documents on a computer! Dilettantes.
I just came in this thread to share the fact that I did this VERY papercut today on my left index finger. I’m sure it will get infected no matter how I try to keep it clean. That’s just how it is with me.
I slashed my finger open with my thumbnail yesterday. I saw it in slow-motion as it was happening. Noooooo. But since all my cuticles are ragged and horrid from a: the cold weather dryness and b: sanding and filing at jewellery class, it’s just adding to a general sensation of hand discomfort.
As soon as you get the paper cut, pour alcohol on it. No, it’s not all that of an effective treatmet, but if you think that the paper cut hurt before… 
I hate stapling my finger myself. Hurts much longer.
Those are nasty. They never hurt right away. Nope. You have those few seconds after you realise you’ve been cut but before the pain hits when you just know it’s going to hurt a lot.
I get a lot of paper cuts at work. Then I get blood on my paperwork. I always have to make another copy of the item because I don’t think bloody memos leave a good impression.
You people are about to send me quivering in a fetal position under a desk. I may never again handle paper that isn’t sopping wet at the edges.
OTOH, I am definitely gonna check those latex glove things out. I have no reason to worry about smelly hands in the privacy of my own home.