Another walk-in.
Hello, naked crazy guy.
Please don’t breathe on me.
- MineFujiko, civil service worker
Based on a real incident? You betcha! Please submit yours!
Garlicky spring air
fishy odor may bring death
immediately
Wish I had a job.
Maybe rob bank tomorrow.
That would not be good.
Journal articles.
So sick of reading them all.
Brain explodes - much goo.
Working late nights is
So hard on one’s social life.
At least I sleep in.
Black powder cannon.
Archaic death, squat and black
Did you swab after that last round?
Blinky lights, yellow, green
All except for that red one…
Crossover cable.
Job search infinite.
Defect insurmountable.
How old is too old?
Damn, just got laid-off
But I have a plethora
of beer so HA-HA!
You think it’s funny?
My discomfort pleases you?
Wear MY shoes, bastard.
A pink slip, ah yes
You so love these, don’t you fool?
You are fucked, asshole.
That slip, like the one
I saw in your office, yes?
Oh, do you deny?
Were those NOT her legs
Across your shoulders that day?
No “Romp On The Desk”?
Liar. Be a man.
You fucked your way to the top.
Ah, but be careful:
Eyes and Ears abound
You are not invisible, my friend
Justice comes for you
When you feel secure
Look again fool; you are watched
Your enemies abide
Your last sight shall be
Me, smiling mirthlessly at
Your cooling body.
Well unless, of course,
You decide to pay me that
Severance Package.
–IDB
A cathode ray tube
Produces radiation.
I’ll soon have cancer.
I can’t beleive that Exgineer, The Lord of Haiku hasn’t made it in here yet. Here’s a couple based on work related stuff that happened to me:
Computer is dead?
Ah, you tried to clean off files.
With Windex? You idiot!
The fire alarm screams
Riotous cacophony
Who microwaves forks?
No I don’t think that
Your computer has been hacked
Your husband likes porn
Folorn subroutine.
Your function has been taken.
Now you bloat the build.
Whiny accountants
Vendor never calls me back
Middlewoman woes
- Gazelle, vendor-user liaison
Tourists in the parks.
Too much sun, not much sunscreen
Crispy red lobsters
Forty-inch child
Is not tall enough for ride
Please don’t scream at me.
Tourists stand in line
Ninety-minute wait for ride
Please don’t scream at me.
Not drinking water
Another tourist passed out
Call health services
Characters in suits
Children crying in terror
Big heads frighten them.
Six-dollar hotdog
Eaten before spinning ride
Hurled onto sidewalk
Tourists ask questions.
“When’s the three o’clock parade?”
Classic. Ha. Ha. Ha.
“Ninety minute wait
From this point.” And that is just
For the ladies’ room.
Crying, tired child.
“You will have fun and like it!”
Parent screams at child.
Smiling through the stress.
And the really low wages.
I still love my job.
I have insurance
And my paychecks do not bounce.
I really love my job.
Your computer’s broke?
Your friend says hard drive’s bad?
Why don’t he fix it?
“My Documents” gone?
Important stuff is no more?
Too late to backup!
Don’t curse at me sir!
Yelling will get you nowhere.
Just type Format C.
Haikus of the disgruntled phone tech support employee.
You want DSL
No digital RT there
sing for it, sucker
Packetized data
ATM is not for voice
use TDM, fool
Area code exhausted
no numbers left for you guys
Don’t bother applying
10 digit dialing
actually means eleven
who taught you to dial?
Can’t change to d: drive?
How are you spelling “colon”?
C-O-L-I-N.
:smack:
It worked yesterday,
but it doesn’t work today.
Windows is like that.
Drab office, no sun
Job is sucking will to live
My brain is Jell-O
five, seven, then five.
It’s simple to remember.
Guess I done forgot.
Lost credit card slip
Finance Officer’s rage is
Disproportionate.
Ottawa Boss comes.
All prepared–Jeep wheels sparkling!
Incease our budget?
Clean up in breakroom
Who barfed all over the room
Hate cleaning up barf!
You must be at work
And on time everyday
If you want this job.
Because it’s the rule
That’s why we do it that way
Learn to live with it!
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
I hear bitching all day long
I hate being boss!