The oldest gay men I've ever seen

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yesterday I was riding the bus and three older men got on. They were all very weathered looking and appeared to be in their sixties. They wore work jeans, sweatshirts and leather jackets. One of them had a wood cane. One sported a flat top and a mustache, and the other had wild looking hair. All three of them looked sort of scary.

Two of them sat on either side of me and the third sat directly facing me. I was struck by the appearance of the guys. They seemed like rough workmen, ex-thugs, or something of that nature. One of them was wearing an Abercrombie and Fitch sweatshirt under his leather jacket, which I took to be quite odd. I can’t really explain it, it was just one of those situations where you encounter strangers that seem like movie characters.

The two guys on either side of me began talking. “Do you think I’m wearing too much cologne?” one of them asked the other. “No, I can’t smell any cologne from over here.” I was completely taken aback by this conversation from these guys. Then the man sitting across from me crossed his legs, one over the other.

When the guys were about to get off the bus, one of them said, “OK, let’s go, girls!” It was then that it hit me: I had just seen the oldest three gay men I’ve ever seen.

I live in a very gay-friendly community and travel in liberal-minded circles, so I’m no stranger to the LGBT crowd at all. It’s just that I’ve never seen such old gay guys before. It was weird. It’s like I’m so familiar with gay guys as being young, cute, and well-dressed that I forgot about all the other ones. And, I know I’m working from a somewhat narrow-minded perspective here, but these specific guys on the bus looked like they could all have kicked my ass, and would have done so without much hesitation if I had pissed them off. As it were, it’s very unusual for me to see rough-looking old men, but to encounter rough-looking, old, gay men was definitely a first-time experience.

Sometimes you think you’ve got it all figured out, and then something like this happens. Man, life never stops being interesting.

2

Hey! I resemble that remark! Well, in about 15 or 20 years…

One of the popular bars in San Francisco is The Lone Star - a bear bar - which is mostly filled with “bigger” Gay guys and older guys… those guys would have felt comfortable there…

Even though I moved thousands of miles away, it’s still my favourite bar… and was always amazed at how thin and young I would feel at times there - and I’m not exactly young or thin :smiley:

3

Oh grow up!
I’ve had gay friends my whole life. I’m 60. Do you think when hair turns white or falls out, they turn straight?
The two ladies that live across the street from us are 66 and 72. They are the most loving couple I’ve ever had the honor to know.

4

I love the idea of narrow-mined people who think they have it all figured out having their world spun around by the most mundane violations of the basest, (should be) self-destructively restrictive stereotypes. They always come off sounding like such fun-to-ridicule lame-o’s

“Dude,I saw this Asian guy today with a British accent!”

Thanks for the story.

5

pizzabrat I don’t know what you’re getting at here, but I wrote what I wrote without any ill intentions. I was trying to say that even someone like myself, who is familiar with a lot of LGBT people, can unconsciously develop ideas about what the “average” person looks like.

I hardly think that warrants your haughty response. If you’re trying to call me narrow-minded or a “lame-o” under your breath, then you’re out of order.

6

I know a gay guy (uncle of my friend) who’s 83. Stranger yet, he was for years editor of a popular Christian magazine, all while more or less out.

7

Yes, despite the heroic efforts of the klub kid/twink crowd to pretend they don’t exist, there ARE older gay men. In the bear subculture, they’re fairly common and actually pretty desirable. Daddies are always in amongst the bears. I’m waiting impatiently to get a bit more grizzled so I can have all the young cubbies running to me!

8

Oh, and there are fat gay men, too. A lot of them. Not that you’d know it from watching “gay” shows on TV…

9

Actually, I’ve known a few older gay men through my involvement in theater as a youth. But nobody that looked as rough around the edges as these guys.

Again, what I am trying to say here is that I realize that gay men (just like all men) come in all shapes and appearances - what I am not trying to say is that I believe all gay men to be the same.

10

:rolleyes: What the hell is up with the “no shit, there are older gays”? No shit. It’s obvious that Argent knows that. But it’s also rather likely he hasn’t come across many OUT older (60+) gay people. I know I haven’t, but I figure it’s because there was a much higher risk* for bad shit happening to someone known to be gay 40,50,60 years ago. I’m not surprised there are old gay guys and gals (duh), but I don’t see many openly gay ones.

  • not that coming out today is totally easy either; I know that.
11

Mainly I’m just pissed off that you think “in their 60s” is old.
I’m not there yet, but I hope to still be young at that age! If you want to see plenty of gay men that age, go to a Gay Men’s Chorus concert. Lots of older couples at those gigs.

12

Heck, you want to see REALLY old gay men, just look up Quentin Crisp…

13

Fags! I wish they could just keep it to themselves.

Been to the Lone Star many times. :wink:

14

I understand the op’s observation. I worked at a bingo hall when I was in college. We had many regulars and I believe that we had a good cross section of the AARP crowd. The older gay males and couples kept kind of a “low profile.” The really did not give any clues concerning their sexual preference, you really had to sit and talk with them for a while before you realized that they were more than just buddies. In contrast, it was a little easier to identify at least a few lesbians and couples amongst the bingo crowd. They would have masculine haircuts and wear manly clothes, drink lots o’ beer, crack jokes loudly, and generally not be afraid to bring attention to themselves. Maybe my sample just happed to have contained a unusual bunch of wild and crazy bingo lovin’ lesbians! (and yes I know, there were probably a slew of shy, quiet, bookworm lesbians too, but I just didn’t bother to get to know them!)

15

Hey, that’s the way TV and movies sell it!

A few months back, Mom*was complaining that every Og-damned new TV series has at least one gay character (she was furious when a nurse in Hospital Central who’s been there since the start of the series and had several bfs started dating the new pediatrician… even more furious when one of the nurse’s ex-bfs was fine with it and called the other ex a bigot for not being ok… and I know all this even though I don’t watch the series). She said it makes gays seem “mainstream” and “normal”. I told her gays won’t seem normal until you see a gay character in a series who is both as old as writer Antonio Gala and not suffering from a bad case of The Limp Wrist (which Gala has always had).

Now, sometimes the TV will be on and a gay char comes in, and she turns to me and says “you know, I still haven’t see one over 40 who isn’t a limper!”

Yes, she’s bigoted. She has worse defects but I didn’t get to pick her any more than she picked me.

16

My friends Curtis and Hayden have been together since shortly after WWII, a delightful old couple. In fact, I know more long-term happy gay marriages than straight ones!

17

There was a very infamous internet pic that made the rounds some time back of three REALLY old men getting it on- hilarious.

18

My Ex’s Uncle Joey and “Uncle Pat” who were roommates for 25 years. I’d venture to say they were both in their 70s. Uncle Joey was a northshore poseur and Uncle Pat was an absolutely wonderful person, always putting Uncle Joey in his place. They never let on that they were gay, maintained seperate bedrooms, etc. But everyone pretty much knew they were. One night they took us out to dinner and as the meal progressed, I noticed the restaurant patrons were nearly all male. Took me a couple years to figure it out.

Uncle Joey was never the same after Uncle Pat died. It was the beginning of the end for him.

19

A nursing home for gay senior citizens is being built in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I heard there is a waiting list. Since the AIDS epidemic hit, I am always relieved to see so many gay men who have survived it.

20

I ride the bus home from work every day with a wonderful gay man who is a senior. (he’s either 65 or 66 and his partner is a couple years older). He’s been with his partner for just under 50 years and is the sweetest guy I know.

One day my SO and I will be one of those elderly gay couples, unless of course one of us decides we can’t take it anymore and knocks off the other for the insurance money. :wink: