Okay, now I’m tempted to rewrite my profile in the worst, most fractured English I can possibly come up with.
If I don’t get any replies, I’m blaming Joey P.
*This shit is harder to write than I thought.
That’s really, really strange that you happened to write it like that. I had a big section in my post explaining that if you’re in Milwaukee and mention taking walks on the beach you’re most likely fake since in Milwaukee you don’t go to the beach, you go to The Lakefront. It’s strange that I took all that out and you wrote it in.
I have studied my clichés and know them well. I almost put in a part about being comfortable in a black dress of little or jean.
And here I was worried it was that Google Streetview car that’s been parked in my driveway for the past three days…when did he get a floodlight?
Zoosk sucks too.
Ok, done with all the free ones. Back to match after being hidden for a couple of months.
Match lets you upload a ton of pictures. I just found some more recent pics, and not I’m up to 14 (!). I don’t really want 14 pics. I think that it’s giving the person a good idea what I really look like, but I know that it might look a little self-absorbed.
What’s a good number for pictures? Anybody else have any good rules of thumb when it comes to pictures?
Funny you mentioned this, I was told if you have multiple pics of just you alone/self-taken, it indicates you have no friends/social life:rolleyes:
I think 5 would be sufficient, I can’t stand when people have over 20 pics. To me, it screams attention whore!
I’m single again! That one lasted about two months (it took me forever to get around to posting my last post in this thread). My profile hasn’t changed much. It’s still a marketing machine (the picture plus the, if I may say so, incredibly witty profile has rendered me more-or-less capable of just waiting for girls to message me). That being said, I plan to start sending out the first wave of messages to speed the process along later tonight. Wish me luck!
RE: Pictures
I only use two. The mask picture to lure in curious visitors and a single actual picture displaying my studliness with which to club women over the heads. I do sometimes notice that most of my pictures are self-taken, but this is the case for two reasons:
1.) The people in my group of friends just don’t take pictures of each other very much.
2.) The pictures I do have that were taken by others aren’t my most flattering. When I’m taking my own I can make myself seem like I’m not a doofus. Or at least like less of a doofus. 
Congratulations, even sven!
One relationship begins and another one bites the dust. Sorry, AClockworkMelon.
So babelfish profiles like the one I mentioned above manage to get approved on Match. Hell, I even just noticed that I managed to stop a sentence not just mid-sentence, but mid-word and it was OK’d but when I had a sentence that was vaguely similar to another sentence I got this email:
Also, the latest thing I’ve gotten frustrated with is having people respond that don’t seem to have any actual interest.
Girl 1: Sent her an email, she responds two days later with one question about one of the things I mentioned in my email. I answered the question with a few sentences (and asked her another question to keep the ball rolling) and got nothing. All I can figure is that she was really curious about what I meant with that statement and didn’t have any interest beyond that.
Girl 2:Write her an email, writes an email back, I reply..nothing.
Of course, I think she’s new to OKC and probably getting bombarded so that’s to be expected I guess.
But I still hold that if you’re not interested, if you don’t feel there’s a chance that you’re going to ever meet this person…don’t reply unless it’s to tell them no (but personally, I just prefer to not get a reply).
Also, has anyone ever done the friend thing? Every once in a while I’ve run across someone that I’ve wanted to email and tell them that I have no romantic interest in them at all, but I think we might hit it off as friends. Telling them I have no romantic interest in them at all seems kind of harsh, but emailing someone and telling them I’d like to hang out, IMO implies I have romantic interest in them since it’s a dating site (unless otherwise specified).
Not that my inbox is exactly full, being a dude and all, but I reply to almost everyone who messages me if they put in some effort and they’re not too sexually forward. You never know where it might lead. It usually leads nowhere, but… On the side of things, I send 'em and forget 'em. If I get a reply, then let’s see if it goes anywhere or not.
If they’re cool enough to hang out with and not physically revolting, give them a chance. You might be surprised in person. If you’re not surprised, you can give them the ol’ LJBF in person.
But based on that I infer you’re interested, right? You’re willing to at least take the conversation to the point where you’d be meeting in real life.
What I’m saying is if one of these girls emailed you and you had no intention whatsoever of meeting her, I’d personally not respond.
In my examples, I get the feeling that Girl 2 was responding to be nice. I’m willing to bet she responds either to everyone or she was just answering my questions and probably felt that was the end of the conversation and didn’t expect a reply from me. OTOH, it’s entirely possibly she was interested and didn’t like my reply/changed her mind/is talking more seriously with someone else etc.
That’s a bit different. For example there’s a girl I cross paths with from time to time that from seeing her IRL, I find her attractive, but I can tell that if I ran across pictures of her on OKC, I’d probably move right past her. I also do believe in the concept of people become a more attractive as you get to know them better.
What I’m talking about is the people that you see that you have zero sexual/romantic interest in at all. For whatever reason they just aren’t your type at all. It doesn’t have anything to do with the pictures, they just fundamentally don’t turn you on. It doesn’t even have to be that they’re ugly or look like a troll. Maybe they have red hair and you really only like brunettes. Maybe you only date conservative looking girls but this one is full of tattoos and piercings…but reading their profile they seem like someone you’d like to be friends with.
Hell, my best friend in the world is a girl and the reason we’re best friends is because there was never any attraction between us. We aren’t each other’s types. So as we dated people there was never any silent jealousy, neither of us were ever ‘the friend’ etc. We met 13 years ago, we lived together for a year during college, we stood up in each others weddings and she’s my daughters godmother, she’s coming into town for my daughter’s 6th birthday this weekend and we live almost 4 hours apart…And I’m not sure where I was going with this anymore since I wrote this post all out of order…but there it is and I’m not going to delete it in case I remember why I put it here.
I’ve talked to women from all over the place on OkC, logistically very hard to meetup. Sometimes it’s just idle flirting or chitchat. Even local ladies I talk to just to see if I’d like them. Only after I’ve talked to them can I figure out if I’d want to meet them. A profile, some pics, and one message aren’t necessarily enough to go on.
Unless I’m basing it on the unattractiveness of their pics, I can’t reconcile being fundamentally turned off and still being interested as friends based on only an online profile with no direct communications.
Yea, because I boss all the broads around to show them who’s the man. :rolleyes: It’s not odd behavior to tell someone they’re doing something that won’t get them dates. How many guys looked at her profile and thought the same thing I did and didn’t bother writing her? I was at least [del]rude[/del] helpful enough to tell her she might want to actually differentiate herself from her cookie cutter friends.
Keep in mind that men traditionally ask out women, which means they usually don’t take on any more than they can handle. As a woman, I will often respond to messages men send, but won’t agree to meet up in person unless they impress me enough in conversation to meet in person.
If I were to accept all offers to meet in person, I would be dating so many guys that it would just feel horribly impersonal. I guess some people like doing that, but I don’t.
I think you’re missing what I’m saying. I’m not saying you have to meet everyone you respond to, I’m just saying (IMHO) I’d prefer if people didn’t respond when they had no interest at all.
For example, if I were to write an email that said.
Blah blah blah, what’s your favorite movie? Blah blah blah
-Joe
And the whole email is, let’s say, 2 small paragraphs with 2 or 3 questions mixed into it.
What I hate is when the reply is:
Hi Joe, my favorite movie is Elf.
And that’s it. Never to be heard from again. I’ll reply to that email and try to figure out something to say, but I’ll never get another reply. To me, that’s someone that really wasn’t interested in the first place.
Oh you’re right, that would be pretty annoying.
I “wanted the partner which divides more than my interests,” too, bay-bee! 
But seriously…here’s a story and a question:
My OKC profile had been mostly ignored for a really long time (not counting the occasional “hi” or “how r u”), then suddenly last weekend I got 3 messages within 12 hours – all from guys who’d actually read my profile, and who weren’t completely out of the question. The problem? I actually recently met someone: things are undefined and moving slowly (partly because of a logistics issue that – yay – will be resolved tomorrow) but there’s a lot of potential, and I’m very much a “one at a time” person when it comes to dating. Even casually. So I’m just not feeling like I’m really available right now. Guy #1 got a “thanks but no thanks” message (after a closer look at his profile, I wasn’t interested), and Guy #2 had deleted his profile by the time I went to write back.
Guy #3, though, was interesting – plus he’d proposed meeting up for coffee, and I love that he wanted to meet right away. So when I wrote back to him, instead of just giving him another “thanks but no thanks” response I told him the truth: that I like his profile and his willingness to meet right away, and that ordinarily I’d be interested but I just met someone and don’t really feel like I’m available. It felt like an excuse as I was typing it, and even my sentence assuring him that I wasn’t just brushing him off felt like an excuse, but if things wind up not working out with the guy I just met I’d like to maybe be able to drop Guy #3 a line sometime…if he’s still available/interested. (BTW, after I finished replying to everyone I decided to hide/disable my profile while I see what happens with IRL guy.)
So, my question is for the single men here: if you’d gotten the response I sent to Guy #3, would you assume I wasn’t interested and was just trying to be nice? Or do you think you might believe me? If I wrote to you again in a month or two and said, “Hi, things with that guy didn’t work out; are you still interested in meeting for coffee sometime?” would you believe me then even if you hadn’t before?
It doesn’t really matter what Guy #3 thinks, and hopefully things will work out with IRL guy and this will be moot, but I just got to wondering whether guys get a lot of “oh, you seem great but I just started seeing someone” messages that seem like brushoffs. Or maybe most women don’t bother trying to spare your feelings?
I would believe you were just being nice unless and until you contacted me later.
Cool! Good to see that OkC is working for you. Not every relationship follows the same path from courting to commitment. 