I don’t know though, does he really want people to know he like curling? 
Then again since all I do is swim I don’t want to put a picture up of me in my Speedo. :eek:
That’s still not quite a ringing endosement, is it?
Well, one of the questions on OKCupid is what you do on a typical Friday night. For the last three months, that was it (although not usually so sharply dressed).
I don’t mind anyone knowing I curl (as if I don’t have enough eccentricities already), but it wouldn’t be too hard for someone to track down my identity. There aren’t a lot of places to do it around here.
I was just having a little fun. I know that when I see a photo of something different it at least gives me something to ask about. I’d say use one or more of them. They are free to put up. I don’t have any action photos of myself, as I said the only ones I could get would be me in a Speedo and most people don’t want to see that.
Done. Changed a couple captions and the “typical Friday night” bit.
I like #3. Cool shirt!
Edited to add: On my part it is a ringing endorsement, I think it’s a good pic, it shows your hobby and the cool shirt sparks interest.
Edward, I’m fairly certain you’d get more dates if you DID put up pics in your Speedo!
Well, I at least made it to the date with ginger-beardy-man this time, but there won’t be a second date. Online he came across as witty, sarcastic and intelligent. In real life, he was vague, wide-eyed and childish. An unemployed 38 year old still living with his mum, who’s only had one serious relationship (which was long distance and just lasted a year), and after they split, she had to threaten to call the police to stop him contacting her.
I stuck it out for an hour and a half, but I felt like a teacher working with a schoolboy, rather than two mature equal adults, plus I was vaguely worried about the talk of his family and prisons, so I left with a cheery “Oh, I’ve eaten so much I’m tired, been up since 6am with the baby, must dash, I’ll email you!!” and didn’t look back.
Back to the drawing board…
He said this on a date? And only the second date at that?
Crikey.
Yup. And first date really - the first time I met him was for about 2 minutes to cancel our date due to unforeseen circumstances.
Maybe he was just nervous… or utterly socially clueless.
Thanks, I’ll look into it!
Oh, and Edward the Head? I’d definitely check out your profile if it had speedo pics 
I know the (right) decision has already been made, but 1000 times yes, he does!
I thought those were great pictures and curling is just unusual enough without being weird. And I’m geeky enough that I think it’s a plus. 
A little more variety in pictures (as has been suggested) would be nice.[sup]*[/sup] If you can get some shots while doing something you enjoy, that’s always nice. Even a different background, or wearing a different color, would mix things up a bit. Take some pictures outside in a park; morning and evening light are most flattering.
(Easier said than done, I know. You need someone to take the pictures. Someone you trust enough to tell why you want the pictures. If we had all that, we wouldn’t need to meet people on the internet.)
For the pictures that are up, you may want to turn down the brightness or contrast, or something. On my screen, your face is getting a bit washed out, like over-exposed film. I assume you still have the originals. I think you might be able to load those into an image-processing program and tweak the settings to balance things out a bit.
Well, don’t over-share, but don’t be afraid to put some of your real thoughts and opinions into your profile; something that maybe not everyone will agree with. The goal isn’t to be some generically perfect template for every guy, but for the right guys to find you.
Oh, and the best thing I ever did was to leave some blatant opening for people to comment on when they send a message. (My list of six things I could never do without has only five.) Leave something obvious as a conversation starter.
I hope this isn’t a bit harsh, criticizing a perfect stranger’s OKC profile. I assume a smokin’ hot babe like you has the ego to handle it.
- I’m certainly far from blameless in this regard, myself. It’s taken me ages to get some new ones posted.
Robot. thanks so much for the critique! I appreciate it, along with you saying I’m “hot.”
Speaking of updating photos, I just updated mine. I’ve got different backgrounds, different expressions, etc., but it appears I’m wearing the same outfit in nearly all of them, even though they span almost two years! First thing I need to do when I start getting a paycheck again is go get some new clothes, apparently. I’m wearing a plain white T-shirt as I type this, not a black one, btw.
It is a good idea to have a more recent photo of you amongst your portfolio, but could I suggest not having the “hair growing out 2012” one as your profile picture? Out of the selection there, it’s slightly out of focus & not your most flattering shot, and you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression… I’d be more likely to check out your profile if the 2010 “enjoying the sunshine” one was the main one, and caught my eye!
Just MHO and all that
The “Enjoying the sunshine” pic was my main pic for a very long time until I just changed it recently. It’s the same pic I have in Arnold’s gallery. It was taken with a real camera, while the newer pic was taken with a cell phone. I know the sunshine pic is my best one, so I don’t want to take it down, but I’m kind of sick of looking at it.
Mind if a newbie joins? I was feeling a bit down, and popped into this thread, and it all sounded so interesting a set up a profile on OKC. Had a few creepers (didn’t read the profile, weren’t from anywhere near me) who I quickly blocked, but there seem to be a number of interesting guys in the area, so I sent out some messages.
This is where things get a bit strange. One of the men that I messaged (in quite an amusing way, if I do say so - just responding to things on his profile, etc.) replied with:
(The singing bit’s in response to something I’d said, obviously.) I was shocked, but flattered, but said sure, since I figured it can’t be worse than a blind date.
Now I’m rethinking this. Not that he doesn’t seem nice, but it seems a bit strange. His reasoning is sound (this is the last week of the school year, lots of folks are leaving this college town, he thought I might be one of them so figured he’d take the shot while he had it) but a couple other things he’s brought up since (He’s narcoleptic, so doesn’t drive. I’d have to pick him up.) are making me question whether it was a good idea to agree so quickly.
If you think it’s fine - any advice?
If you think I made a terrible hasty decision - what should I have done, for future reference, and how do I back out now?
Obviously I’m very new to this online dating thing, but I’ve been reading advice here and think I’ve got the basics down (fill out profile, add photos, don’t lie, don’t be creepy).
I’d be freaked out by having to pick him up/drop him off - it means that if it goes badly, you can’t make a clean getaway!
I don’t get why it seems strange… I am not seeing anything strange in particular. Is it the speed in which he asked you out? The fact that he doesn’t drive? Something else in his communications that you haven’t told us? Or is it just that you’re new to online dating and are scared about your first date?
I do see that it might be weird having to pick him up, and his not driving could be an obstacle to a relationship, unless your town has good public transportation. Would it be possible for him to meet you somewhere accessible by train or bus? If he doesn’t drive he is probably used to utilizing public transportation. I think for a first date it is good to meet somewhere neutral, not not do a pick up.
Other than that, maybe you’re just having first-time jitters. That is completely understandable. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t do it. Or maybe just correspond with him further or talk on the phone before you meet. Let is know how it goes!
Nervous about my first date, but that’s a separate feeling. It was the speed of him asking me, as well as the follow-up to my obviously nervous yes with “So I was thinking this day, this restaurant, and we’ll go bowling afterwards. And I’m narcoleptic so do you mind picking me up?.” It was nice to have a plan (I’d suggested he pick when and where, since I’m fairly free this week), but that he didn’t ask what sort of food I liked, or offer a couple options? I dunno. I’m probably overthinking it, since what he did suggest sounds great, but I’m used to the sort of guys who frame their preferences as a question (“How’s Japanese sound to you? I know a great place.” vs. “I was thinking we could do Japanese.”).
And, yeah, the fact that he doesn’t drive throws me off. Not because everyone in this town drives (it’s a college town; we’ve got alright public transportation, though not great) but because he specifically suggested something that requires a ride (the bowling alley is on the far end of town, past where any buses go), and assumed I’d be okay with it.
I’m just getting an overall vibe of kindof pushy and insensitive, though he hasn’t said anything overtly so, and so I wonder if it’s the medium.
Is his name Deuce Bigalow?