Yumblie, I don’t think that happens when you’re blocked. I think she just panicked and flaked on you. It happens to the best of us (an almost identical situation has happened to me.) People on online dating sites are notoriously skittish and flaky.
Nope, that just means she deleted or deactivated her account. It you’re blocked (on OKCupid) you wouldn’t know it. The only think that blocking someone does…again, the ONLY thing blocking someone does is that if they send you a message, you won’t receive it. That’s it. If you hide someone, you can’t see them (but they can see you) and if you block them they can message you, but you won’t get it. They have no idea they’ve been blocked. In fact, there’s nothing you can do on OKC to prevent someone from seeing your account and there’s no setting that lets a specific person know they’ve been blocked. The theory being that if there’s someone that you’d prefer not to have checking your profile 14 times a day and constantly e-mailing you, it’s better to let them check your profile 14 times a day and send a whole bunch of nasty emails and have you not even realize it’s going on then for them to not be able to see your profile or for them to get a message saying “you can’t send that person an email, you’ve been blocked” and then they just go set up a new account or if they know you IRL they might get angry and stalk you that way.
Anyways, the reason I stopped back in this thread was to share a little gem I just stumbled upon.
The first paragraph starts out with this (paraphrased a bit)
Hmmm, so, she doesn’t like ALL CAPS, but then she used it in the next line. Okay, maybe that was a joke (not that line, the next one. Then she mentioned the thing about about being educated/mental mind rape. Well, that’s an odd way to put it, but I have noticed that the majority of the people that see to go out of their way to say they ‘educated’ see to be the ones that have the worst grammar.
Anyways, what bugged me about the opening paragraph was that she said she’s a grammar nazi, but but don’t poke at her grammar. Honestly, I figured what she meant by that was 'Hey, I might have missed a comma or spelled something wrong in my profile…don’t be a smart ass and point it out." Well hell, I was wrong. For a ‘writer’ and a ‘grammar nazi’…wow. Her whole profile was littered with grammatical errors, capitalization problems, RANDOM CAPITAL WORDS and I’m pretty sure when she was done typing it she just sprinkled a handful of commas over the whole thing. I could keep going but just take a look at the part I quoted. I know I said it’s paraphrased, but I didn’t really change anything. I just adjusted it a bit to make it a bit harder for Google to find. I really wish Shot From Guns could see it. I’m sure she’d enjoy a nice aneurysm.
She’s right, it’s not attractive. It’s, for me, a huge turn off. I would never email someone that wrote their profile as terribly as that. I’ve even mentioned it a handful of times up thread. What makes it worse is when they specifically state that they’re a grammar Nazi which implies that they think they that wrote it well. It’s one thing if someone says in their profile “You’ll have to excuse the typos, I did this quickly/at work/on my phone/etc” and there are a few misspellings or some missing spaces, but when they say they’re a grammar Nazi that can’t stand things in all caps and then write “I have a set schedule, and I work friday, Saturday and Sunday. EVERY WEEKEND. And no, I can’t take off, ever.” Grrr, can we count how many things are wrong with those three (really, three?) sentences.
Also, on preview I see IC replied. It might not be that she flaked, it could just be that for any one of a million reasons she just done with the site or not currently on it right now. IME there’s a 50/50 chance she’ll be back in a few days or a few weeks.
Follow-up: Narcoleptic guy is nice, took me to a great restaurant, paid…and I’m not attracted to him at all. Not even the slightest spark. No enormous red flags, except he self-reports as not particularly hard-working and is studying something he has no passion/talent for. Anyway, that’s a no-go.
In the interim I’ve tried to branch out offline, and have two other prospects and a stupid dramatic situation. The guy who it’s been determined is NOT INTO ME despite my serious interest in him asked to meet and spent a couple hours apologizing and saying that he’s into me. The talking was good, but I told him to give me a call when he was sober and we’d see where things went. It’s been twenty-four hours, and so although I really want to give this a shot (I’m really not good at getting over folks, obviously), he’s obviously not into me enough to put his ego on the line. I think I’ll give him another day, but he’s already gotten about a month of me being hung up on him, so something’s gotta give.
The other guy I don’t know quite as well, but he seems very into communication and we’ve been texting/chatting for about a week. He’s a friend of a friend who I see semi-regularly but we haven’t met in person since that talking started. Definite flirty overtones, and he sends follow-up messages when I don’t reply for a few hours, and I’d absolutely jump on that…if my stomach didn’t flip every time the other guy opened his mouth. Agggh.
Also, what should I do about my profile while I’m trying to sort this out? It’s possible (likely, even) that neither of these guys will work out, but I don’t know how much room I’ve got in my life for more men. Is it possible just to make a profile inactive on OKC?
WAGS - her husband found her account; the mods got reports of her account being inaccurate/a professional working lady seeking clients; or she moved too fast then freaked herself out 
Sucks that it happened, but you probably dodged a bullet!
I’m not sure about that, but you can change your status to “seeing someone” I think, and edit the bottom section to say you’re just on OKC to look for friends?
I’ve not posted about my date because I’m still processing it, and trying to figure out what to do about Mr My-Ex-Is-Back. It did go well, but it just seems like he’d be a lot of work to be in a relationship with, and I’m not head over heels falling in love with him, so I don’t think I’m willing to put the effort in. If we leave it at this casual situation where we see each other once a month or so for a night out, few drinks, and some adult fun, then that’s fine with me for now, but I’ll still keep searching for The One while it’s going on.
At the end of the day, I like him, and I like a night out, so is that so bad?
If I could get some reviews of my profile and suggestions for tweaks I’d appreciate it
Sent a PM.
Very longtime lurker, seldom poster etc.
I’ve recently been cheated on and dumped, and after five years of soul-crushing monogamy I’m having difficulty adjusting back. Anyway, after a few disastrous cold approaches in book stores I’ve decided I’d probably have more luck online and created an OKCupid profile. If anyone has any criticism or tips I’d greatly appreciate any help in this regard. 
Few additional questions:
Does *completing *your profile have any benefit?
I seem to get around 2-3 visitors a day is that normal?
Why is there such a disparity between men and women on these sites?
Thanks!
In general, I really like it (hey, we’re a 77% match!), I love that you’ve given long detailed answers, you’ve used the best of your photos as your profile shot, and you’ve put a lot of thought into your profile. There are a few little grammar errors, but I’d just be nitpicking if I pointed them out 
The main two things I’d suggest tweaking are at the end:
“I sometimes wonder if there is the right person out there for me” is a bit of a downer of a thing to put in the Most Private Thing section. I know it’s sweet to show your vulnerable side, but the rest of the profile is postitive, so this kind of stood out when reading. Is there something funny or a humorous anecdote you could put in there instead?
“You should message me if” section - I heard a very good piece of advice, that you should always have a question in here, to give people an easy opening to contact you. Even if its something simple like “What is the relevance of 42?”, then the geek ladies can show off 
And oh my, you’ve answered a lot of tests! I must go do some more of them myself 
Thanks for the positive feedback now about those nits what are my grammatical errors so I can correct them.
I don’t think I’ve technically “completed” my profile, as I still get the nagging hints in my sidebar “contact 25 new people to complete your profile!” but certainly, any new activity like answering questions, tests, filling out the essay sections on your profile, makes you more likely to show up on the home page and Ms Right might see your picture that way
2-3 a day is good, I think I got that many back when I was new, but less now I’ve been there for a while. Again, the more you’re online, the more high-profile you’ll be, e.g. any lady searching for men in your area will have you appear listed as “online now” or “online recently” which makes you stand out a bit more.
I’m not sure what disparity you mean?
I had a confusing thing happen to me recently, and while I accept that the moral of the story is he just wasn’t that into me, I just wanted to commiserate with others.
I found the OKCupid profile of a guy I found positively delightful and charming, so I contacted him. The next day he replied, saying that he was out of the country on vacation (which he had indicated in the profile), but liked my profile as well and would like to know more about me, and he suggests meeting up when he returns.
Hooray! I am elated. So we exchange a few more e-mails that week, and I wish him safe travels.
A couple of days later he lets me know he’s back in town, and asks if I would like to meet for coffee sometime later that week. This is Monday morning. So I say, “Great! How about Thursday at 7?” and suggest a neighborhood equidistant from our jobs.
Radio silence. Thursday rolls around and I hadn’t heard from him. I send one last message that afternoon, saying I hadn’t heard from a while and was just checking in, but nothing. I was bummed, but oh well.
The next morning he e-mails very apologetically, saying he had spaced on the time and was still a little jet-lagged and got lost catching up on work, but was really sorry and would still love to meet if the following week works for me.
OK! I say. I was vaguely miffed, but these things happen. I once again suggest Thursday at 7, but am flexible and say he can suggest a different time if that’s no good.
And then I never heard from him again.
As I mentioned, I am more confused than upset. If he wasn’t interested, why did he reply to me in the first (and second) place? If he was interested, why did he never get back to me?
Even something like, “Sorry, changed my mind, have a nice life,” or “I’m seeing someone else, later gator” would have been appreciated.
Just wanted to vent a little. The joys of dating!
I had a similar thing happen to me. I exchanged messages with a girl that culminated in an agreement to meet up. And then…silence. Ok, I figured she changed her mind. But then, like two weeks later, she gets back to me and apologizes for the late reply but insists she still wants to meet up. I reply and suggest something…and then that’s the last I heard from her.
I dunno what the mindset behind that was, and the uncertainty can be frustrating.
Now that I put them in writing, they really are minor nits, but:
Second line, double period at end of sentence.
In the Books section you mention reading the Hunger Games on your Nook, twice.
In “I spend a lot of time thinking about” you spell “wants” as “want’s”
Some random capitalisations in “6 things I can’t live without”.
And I already see my suggested changes - I feel surprisingly smug, thanks!
Look on the bright side. All my prospects stop replying before we ever get to the point of setting up a meeting.
I’m rather disappointed in myself that I didn’t notice those things.
OK, i am stumbling at the first hurdle! I am trying to set up a decent webmail address for E-dating and misc web stuff, and finding it harder than it sounds! Trying to come up with one that could also be a datingsite screenname.
Everything I come up with is either
-too macho/military related
-insanely nerdy
- Has a negative or dodgy double meaning
-is already taken
-is to cryptic to be remembered without being written down
-very dull. for once I’d like to have one without two random digits at the end!
If you combined the macho/military with the nerdy, do you think they would cancel each other out a bit? Find the name of some nerdy secret weapon and use that, like “Bouncing Bomb” or “Glomar Explorer”.
Maybe I’ll try something like that, myself. I’m not all that thrilled with Robot Arm.
ETA: Just checked OKCupid, and it appears “Glomar Explorer” is available.
I hadn’t thought of that. Perhaps I should look through a Wiki list of famous ships!
In the past I’ve taken inspiration from songs, albums and bands, but that doesn’t seem to be working this time.
I used to have a small boat called the Main Offender - now that would possibly be the worst ID on OK cupid!
Dunno about Glomar, but Explorer is actually a excellent word for this type of thing - has mainly good connotations.
Corrections made. Thanks
Re. using your best picture as your profile shot:
When I was on a dating site, I did not typically use the best picture of me as a profile picture. I feel like if I try to impress them with my looks, I’ll reel in men who want me for my looks. So instead, I posted a picture that was recent and in which I looked decent, but not stunning. And when I met guys in person they’d be pleasantly surprised at the fact that I actually looked better in person than in my picture. I’m not saying you need to do the same, I just wanted to offer an alternative perspective.