*Everything *is okay if you shout “surprise” first.
I know, but if my dating life gets any more frustrating I’m going to have to become an alcoholic monk.
You sure you have no transsexual tendencies? An SRS could improve your prospects greatly–ladies get all the attention.
Yeah, I’m sure. I know who I’d like to say ‘yes’ to my advances, even if that’s in theory much more than in practice.
Had a Shakespeare quote all set to post here, but I looked it up and it didn’t mean what I thought it meant.
I’m torn between making a joke about “country matters” or “unsex me here.”
No, here. No, that’s not it, here. Ooh, I love the way you unsex me.
Was ever woman in this humour woo’d?
Was ever woman in this humour won?
OKC has reset the matching algorithm after about one day.
What exactly does Chemistry.com have that Match.com can’t supply? It’s an extension of Match.com but I don’t see why I need to pay extra money just to use that service. I keep getting sent pictures of matches but with which I can’t communicate unless I cough up more money, on top of what I’m paying for Match.com. Is it worth the extra money? What can Chemistry do that Match isn’t doing already?
A follow-up question is, can I subscribe to Chemistry.com without subscribing to Match.com?
So, I’d say:
1.) It differes from Match in that it focuses on long-term relationships.
2.) It’s a more open version of eHarmony.
3.) You can probably subscribe entirely separately from Match.
I remember way back when I first started looking at Match, I dabbled in Chemistry.com and I remember hating it. It’s been a loooong time, but IIRC, I didn’t care for their format, there were a lot of dead profiles, it was mostly the same people as match (which would be expected since it was advertised so heavily within match.com) and the questions that it used to pair you with others seemed kind of wooish ("Is your middle finger longer then your index finger? etc).
Is it free, perhaps I’ll take another look at it, just for a change of scenery if nothing else. I’m not getting anywhere with Match and OKC. I keep sending out emails and getting nothing in return (often times they don’t even look at my profile).
I hope this isn’t a repeated topic…I have read the entire thread and don’t recall the question I am about to ask being specifically addressed. If it has, feel free to roll your eyes and point out the post #:)
Scenario begins like plenty of others. Exchanged great e-mails with a woman I was very interested in for about a week. Fantastic exchange, with what I would judge as equal enthusiasm on both sides.
She was going out of town the weekend before last, so I sent her a little have-a-nice-trip note the day she left, with the intention of asking her out as soon as she got back. No reply to that, but understandable because she was busy with a sister’s wedding etc.
The day after she returned, I sent a similarly brief ‘glad-you’re-back-hope-the-gnomes-kept-up-with-your-work’ message, and have heard nothing in reply, though she has looked at my profile a handful of times since.
So, my question is NOT ‘do I try to contact her again and re-start the conversation.’ I judged her to be a mature, reasonable woman and therefore assume that she has a perfectly good reason and don’t feel that it is my place to challenge it. If I were to take a stab, I would venture that the reason was my tardiness at getting things moving, but lesson learned.
The question is whether it is ever appropriate to ASK, for my own education, what went haywire?
Good on you for being able to figure out on your own that repeated messages to someone who isn’t responding are not the way to get her to come around. 
As to what went wrong… You really don’t want to know. And no, it’s not appropriate to ask.
Ahhh no!!! Your first reply was hilarious! And now it’s gone.
Damn. I was really hoping someone would tell me it’s ok, so I would have an excuse for socially unacceptable behavior.
Thanks!
I would think it a bit strange, but if I had decent communication with the person and didn’t think he was a whack job, then I would reply to that question with what would hopefully be constructive criticism.
I appreciate the additional (if somewhat guarded) opinion!
Not going to say anything, after all. Focusing my efforts elsewhere…and why risk coming off as creepy.
Probably for the best. It would be nice if more people were honest and blunt. I would much rather have someone tell me they changed their mind about going out with me than just blow me off, leaving me to wonder if I did something “wrong” or if they just met someone else, or decided to take a break from dating, or whatever. But one seldom gets that, which leaves a question mark remaining. I like periods, not question marks. 
Well, you got to see it, anyway! I realized after posting that you weren’t asking us what went wrong, but wanting to know if you could ask her, at which point my response could have been somewhat obnoxious. 
Eh, just chalk it up to general incompatibility. Everybody thinks they want to know the reasons, but they really don’t. For example (spoilered for potential TMI):
Like hell I was going to tell one ex (NOT YOU DAVE IF YOU STILL SOMETIMES READ MY SHIT HERE) that I was breaking up with him because he had no self-esteem, spent too much time complaining about all the things he didn’t like about his life while not doing anything to fix any of it, drank too fucking much, came too fast too often, and didn’t go down on me enough to compensate.
That is just not shit that any dude wants to hear. And, also important, it’s not shit that a nice person wants to say, because a nice person will know that it will really hurt your feelings, and they don’t want to do that. So if they don’t volunteer a reason, assume that you won’t want to hear what they’re politely not telling you.
I’ll be damned…just arrived in my inbox:
*Hey Jason!
My trip was awesome but I came home to a full inbox and a busy weekend catching up. How are you?! Have you been running much?
S*
I am not a fan of all of the virtues, but I might give Patience a go??