“Short term dating” doesn’t imply casual sex to me either. But I assume “dating” = a sexual relationship, otherwise you are friends (until such time as you decide to change that by dating). So, since “short term dating” means you like each other, spend time together, have sex, but neither of you are seeing it as serious, committed, or long-term, how is that not friends with benefits? “Casual sex” to me is one-night-stands or booty calls, where the only relationship is sex.
Yeah, and I realize part of it is the mindset I can’t seem to get out of that the average person should be doing something like this. I mean really, I’m doing the bare minimum; if this were 40,000 years ago I’d be too weak to survive.
So if you take “average” literally, as the mean of the sample, yeah it’s people who are overweight and exercise rarely, which is at odds with the height-weight proportionate definition. Unfortunately the words don’t seem to have a really consistent meaning in this context anymore.
Obviously it’s a word that means different things to different people - to me, dating (especially short-term) does not automatically imply sleeping together. I’m a pretty randy SOB, I just prefer to take some time to get to know my prospective bedmates. Not saying it’s good or bad, just what works for me.
Granted, though I’ll add that “sexual” doesn’t mean jumping straight to PIV intercourse – if you’re making out, even with clothes on, it’s sexual. And AFAIC, non-sexual getting-to-know-you = friends.
I like to snoop. And, in payment for snooping I will post my thoughts on the profiles I read.
even sven
I agree with the others. Awesome name. And, it is a well written snappy profile. Lots of little things to get people to talk when responding and, the paragraphs aren’t too long and boring. It was even funny in parts. The only thing I would change is put a picture with more of a face closeup as your main picture. But,that’s me. I hate squinting at that first picture that pops up.
Macnbaish
I thought your profile was good. Very clear and concise. Putting out there what you are looking for and extolling your virtues without bragging.
I do agree with RNATB about the spelling of rap. And, and this is probably my neurosis more than anything else, I can’t stand when people go out of their way to say they hate rap. Not that I expect anyone or everyone to like it. But, I can’t tell you how many times I read “I love all music aside from rap.” or “I love all music aside from country” or a combination of the two. Enough already, people! Just say you love most music and keep it at that!
Ahem. Sorry.
On the capital letters note shouldn’t Christian be capitalized?
I would think about removing this line “God first, spouse second, other family third. The rest is just details.” When you don’t have a spouse it seems sort of presumptuous to talk about one. Someone reading the profile, in spite of your earlier stated desires to take things slow, might take that as you are on the fast track to find a spouse. Like you were shopping for a new suit. Not like you are looking to meet someone and see where it goes.
Going by the pictures you don’t look overweight at all!
Mauvaise
You do a great job describing yourself and what is going on in your life. (Great that you are at school. Congrats!) The first two sections are awesome.
Well, if you are getting emails about the rant, I guess I am wrong! But, personally, I found it jarring and not especially interesting. I’d be like “Lady. I would love to play tennis with you. But, going by the first thing people notice about you you would be complaining about the brown shorted the whole time and I would be aiming that ball right at your words hole.” But, much like my rap complaint it is probably more about me than real life and what others think.
I’ve found girls via Myspace and I’m chatting to girls on OkCupid. I have a PlentyofFish account but it hasn’t worked for me at all. I think it’s got an ugly interface, even if that’s irrelevant.
I used to online date. I used the various sites at one point or another. Here is some advice for the guys, from my perspective:
Do not use pictures of you with unidentified women or children. All they do is make me wonder if it’s an ex or a child of yours.
Don’t post the following on lists of things you can’t live without: air, water, food, etc. This tells me nothing of you. This, along with “nice guy with an edge” are overdone to death.
Don’t use a picture of you with another guy as your main picture (or at all if you don’t identify yourself).
Bathroom shots. No. At the very least, turn the camera around- you can see the picture it will take in the mirror. Pictures where your camera are more prominant that you are not good.
List your passions! This is your one time shot with a lot of women. Music and art, for example, are huge passions of mine. If you didn’t mention them in your profile,I would have passed it. As I see it, this is your life here. You should be seeking for the person perfect for you! Advertise what you want and what you are… We’re not mind readers!
Be honest! I have a few horror stories about these. The truth regarding any lies or self delusions will be obvious in 3 seconds.
Pictures of you with a wedding ring on. Yeah, we notice it.
No pictures of you. I don’t know what’s worse: that it’s 2010 and you have zero access to a digital camera and/or you have no idea how to upload a picture (seriously?) or to be told that you are a very important person in your field, town, whatever (reads as “you’re married”) or that your friends or coworkers will laugh at you (get a spine or try another medium to date).
I can be brutally honest with online dating. I have helped many of my guy friends find relationships (one got married even!).
In the end, I can just say be patient. It can take a long time to find the perfect match.
I thought it was cute. Of course that might be considered a kiss of death adjective-wise, but it made me smile and would make me more inclined to respond favorably.
Had my first “WTF” email last night on OKC. I was answering a bunch of their questions when someone emailed me regarding a comment I’d made perhaps 5 minutes earlier regarding meditation (I find long distance running to be a relaxing, meditative experience). The email consisted of “You are wrong. That is not meditation.”
Hm. Responded with a quick explanation of what’s going through my head when I’m running, and noticing that the person is from Australia I talked briefly about a trip I’d made there a while back - on the offchance that I head back there some day it might be nice to know someone local, perhaps get some ideas of places to go and things to do.
3 minutes later, another response. “You are missing the point and you are still wrong about meditation.”
Wow. Here I thought I was on OKCupid.com, not OKI’mLookingForAnArgumentWithARandomStrangerOnTheOtherSideOfThePlanet.com.
The “Block” button is a mighty handy thing. If you’re looking for witty repartee it’s probably a good idea to make it clear that you’re taking a fun, spirited approach as opposed to just popping up to tell someone that they’re wrong.
It’s cute, sure I can see that. When I tried EH it seemed to be what every guy wrote. Many times, profile photo aside, I felt like I was reading and rereading the same profile. This is a great way to have your profile passed over, IMO.
The weirdest first email I got (match) was pretty much a questionaire like you’d fill out at a doctor’s office. This man was on a serious mission, it seems, to find a baby maker. I didn’t respond at all. I’ve always wondered if this method worked for him.
OKCupid has changed their website, in a pretty major way. First and foremost, it’s now broadcasting what your latest search criteria were when someone views your profile. In other words, if you came home from the bars last weekend alone (again), got on OKC and did a quick search to see if there was anyone online looking for casual sex, it lets the world know (or, at least, anyone viewing your profile).
Not a great move, now that POF is making a strong push for visibility.
I don’t think that is true, Munch. They moved some information that used to be on the side (And added some you used to not be able to see) to the meat of the profile. They aren’t pulling that out of your latest search, but from What Are You Looking for section of your profile.
I kind of like the change. I hate reading a profile, getting excited to contact her, composing an email and then being told that I’m outside of her age range.
Go to the match search page and take a look. You CAN’T search for people who are looking for casual sex. You can only flag that you yourself are looking for casual sex. Nothing has changed. They moved that from the sidebar to the meat of the profile.
